Would you be worried what other people think?

[LoobyLou75]

One of my work colleagues recently got married and has been saying since I started work there that they were going to be trying for a baby straight away.

The issue is that we only a have small admin team and if we both get pregnant at same time, I worry the company would be unhappy. I briefly discussed it the other day with my other work coleeagues and I felt like I have to put it off until the other girl has benn and come back off maternity leave.

Me and DH have discussed having a baby since before we got married and the 3 years of our marriage have had to put it off for various reasons, redundancy for both of us, moving around a lot for DH's job etc and now we feel in a position where we can really make it happen (hopefully). I know I am not old in any sense (as discussed before) but I am 34 this year and DH 38 and we really want one now, however, now I will feel guilty if I get pregnant before my work colleague and worry I will be made to feel like I stole her thunder, or if I am to get pregnant after her that they think I have done it on purpose. To be fair, none of my colleagues know about our desire to have a baby as when it's been discussed before the timing has never been right.

DH said it's our life, our choice and has nothing to do with anyone else.

 

[lozzy21]

Why should you have to put your plans on hold for your company? They will be able to get temp staff in. Its your life so you decided when to have a kid not your work.

 

[AnnaBanana9]

Your hubby is absolutely right. There is no need for you to put your life on hold for the sake of your company.
x

 

[5-a-side]

I worked in a small care home with only 11 employees another girl and I worked the same shifts and both fell at the same time (due dates were 1 day apart lol) as said its not your job to staff the company so go for it and enjoy the bd'ing
Please dont worry about "stealing thunder" this is what you and your DH want so it doesnt matter what anyone else thinks really. I'm sure your work mate will be as pleased for you as you will be for her.

 

[Dimbo]

I can understand your concerns, I'm in a relatively small team, and I often wonder how work would feel if more than one of us gets pg at the same time. However, they would have to cope. I am not putting my life on hold for a company (if it were my company, I might feel differently, but I assume you have no affiliation with the company other than employee).

As for your colleague and how you would feel if you caught before her, there may be thoughts that you had pipped her to the post as it were, but it's hardly like anyone would plan that. Plus you have been married for a few years and most people wouldn't be surprised if you had a baby now. If you got pregnant after her, I can't imagine people would think that you did it on purpose to copy her/put work in an awkward position. I think it would be taken in the context of bringing a baby into a stable loving family environment.

I'm about to make another point, and I hope I'm not attacked with stones and boo-ed off the forum, but you are not 19 any more, where you could delay things for a decade to suit everyone else. You have to do what is right for you, and as we all know, the younger you are the better (very difficult to word that without being oldist). I am 26, and don't want to put it off because I want to be a young mum (That is if I am still classed as young?!) and if I were to apply your situation to my life, if I had to put it off for a few years because of whatever reasons, I wouldn't wait for anyone as long as me and OH were ready. Do what is right for you, not everyone else
*Runs and hides behind a big rock in case anyone takes offence at my possibly, however unintentional ageist comments.*

 

[princess_bump]

i completely agree with your husband! don't put your life on hold for the company you must do what you want honey and whats right for your family xx

 

[LoobyLou75]

Thank you so much girls and thank you Dimbo

You raise a good point so you won't be boo'ed off, although I feel old now!!!! Haha, only kidding. I do agree with what you say and I guess i'm one of these people that worry about what everyone else thinks and says!

 

[Berniep]

I'm glad the other posters have made you feel better you shouldn't worry about your work or your collegue you've made a decision to have a baby its yours and your hubby's decision nobody elses your work will have to cope and your collegue might be pleased she has someone to share the experience with x

 

[Pinkgirl]

I also agree with you DH hun

I know how you feel and can see what your saying but you shouldnt have to put your life on hold. There are many ways your office could sort it out so dont worry x

 

[LoobyLou75]

Thank you so much, ladies

 

[booflebump]

I'm glad the girls have told you its ok to go for it - no matter how good an employer, no company is worth putting your life on hold for. They wont thank you for it in the long run! Good luck with everything xxx

 

[Dimbo]

Thank you so much girls and thank you Dimbo

You raise a good point so you won't be boo'ed off, although I feel old now!!!! Haha, only kidding. I do agree with what you say and I guess i'm one of these people that worry about what everyone else thinks and says!

Don't be silly, you are hardly old!!! Just older than me haha, no seriously, you are not old at all.


Don't worry about what other people think (easy to say, I know!) It's your life, live it the way you want to.

 

[bunnyg82]

me and my work colleague have just been promoted to work in a different team - there's only 4 of us team members and the 2 of us are desperate to have babies. We are both going to be trying around the same time. It's plans we had before we started the job and neither of us should change our plans for each other or for work. At the end of the day, you have to do it when you are ready as a couple and not worry about other factors like this! x

 

[LoobyLou75]

You girls are lovely. Thanks you so much for the great advice

 

[Always&4ever]

I agree with your hubby aswell hon

 

[Cinnamon]

Darling, you are entitled to have a baby whenever you and OH are ready and nobody should have a say in it. Also just because she decided to tell everyone that she is going to TTC doesn't mean you have to tell everyone and if you do fall pregnant it's none of their buisness.

I get your point about your company because I work in a small care home and a collegue is pg. She got married one year before me and waited until her 1year anniversary to TTC but I will wait until march for other reasons. I must admit I did think about the odds as she will still be on maternity leave when I get pg (hopefully) and I've decided that this is the way I've planned my life and will go for it if DH and I are ready and in the "right situation". Also my collegue has bad pains in her hip and is on sick leave from month 5 onwards in her pregnancy and won't be going back to work, so that means sick leave for her. One of my concerns is I've always had back problems and there is a great possibility that I will have them during pregnancy so I might need a sick leave and can't put my plans off just because that doesn't suit the company, I just have to think I have the right to and that's it. xxxx

 

[carla15x]

The company should have a strategy for coping without employees. . .
What if more than one person developed a long term illness . . .

They will (should be) prepared for stuff like that = ]

 

[Winter Belle]

I know I haven't had that much work experience but one thing I have learned and been told in my working life is that no-one is irreplacable. If you are both on Mat leave at the same time then temps will be brought in... at least the company will have warning that you will both be away from a certain date and they will have time to train temps up. So this is a much better situation for the company than two people just leaving at the same time, for example.

You definitely should not put your life on hold because of what some people at the company may or may not think. To be perfectly honest, i would imagine most people would think that a 34 year woman married for 3 years is likely to become pregnant at some point in the near future. So definitely go for it. You only live once!

xxx

 

[Lilaala]

Everyone, including your OH, has already said it, but I just wanted to add my two bits

Your work will deal with it. The newlywed, should she make any fuss for any reason, will deal with it. Your life and your dreams need to come before your work, and before other people's opinions. Good luck and babydust!

 

[LoobyLou75]

Thank you so so much, ladies. I am so grateful (and so is DH!) for all your fantastic advice. I do feel better about things now and less guilty.