Would you let your 14year old walk with younger sister to club at 7pm?

[haggle-b]

Both my daughters (14y and 10y) go to guides. They have been walking to guides on their own for a few months now. It is a 20min walk and they collect another friend (also 10y) about 10mins into the journey. Eldest is fine being in charge of the youngest and youngest knows that eldest is in charge. Eldest has been fine doing this all summer but says she doesnt like doing it now its dark so early. She never has liked walking in the dark, but she seems concerned about being attacked / kidnapped etc and thinks that the dark will make it more likely. Youngest daughter on the other hand is not bothered, in fact she cant wait to be older to have more freedom, she currently goes to the park after school with her friends sometimes, eldest has never done this.

I (or their freinds dad) always pick them up at 9pm when guides is over so its just the one way that they walk.

Trouble is when they leave at 6.40pm its an awkward time, I am bathing and puting LO to bed and OH has just got in from work. Oh thinks they are old enough to walk the journey and I admit I had thought they were too. But I now feel guilty asking my daughter to walk when shes not that keen.

I dont want to force her, but feel she needs a little push to do this. My brother and I walked to a club at the same age and I have seen kids walking out even later that this either on their own or with friends.

So, does this seem fair? Or is she too young?

 

[hellohefalump]

I have parental responsibility for my sister, who is fourteen, nearly fifteen now. And I do let her take my daughter or my son down the park, or to feed the seagulls on her own. So yes, I do think your daughter is old enough.

Maybe get her one of those personal alarms if she's scared? Would that make her feel better about it? Does she have a mobile phone?

 

[hel_5]

Most of the guides (used to be a guide leader!) walked there themselves, yes I would say she was more than old enough, but im not a fan of walking in the dark - ask her what she would like to feel safer, or are there others she could meet along the way?!? possibly she is more worried about been responsible for her younger sis if something did happen?? This sounds stupid but do they know what to do if something did happen? do they phones to call for help/know people who live nearby they could go to for help? - possibly she just needs the reassurance x

 

[Jen.Uh.Fur]

I think she is old enough to walk there, and I would have no problem letting her.

But I think you have to respect her feelings of being scared too. Walking in the dark alone is a valid fear. I don't like walking in the dark myself. If that's the only way they can get to guides, maybe have a talk with her about it, and what to do if something does happen. And like someone said get her an alarm or a cell phone, or something.

 

[RachA]

As the others have said, she is old enough to walk on her own but if she really doesn't want to then i would respect her feelings and try and work round it. I personally don't like walking in the dark on my own with my children so i can understand her feelings. I assume she has a mobile phone on her in case anything does happen?

 

[haggle-b]

Thanks for your replies everyone. They both have mobile phones, although youngest is always out of credit so she never takes hers. Eldest always has her phone I make sure of that. I have talked to them in the past about what to do when out alone so they both know the drill so to speak. Like I say I dont want to force her but Im trying to gently encourage her as I really do think she will never do it otherwise and will still be like this in a couple of years time.

 

[CarlyP]

I think the fact that she has said she is worried about walking in the dark, you should respect her wishes and be glad that she has come forward about her worries.

Can you not bath LO a little later or leave LO with OH while you drop them off?

 

[smelly07]

i hate walking in the dark even now and it is more scary, personally if my daughter was worried and didnt want to i wouldnt make her, i think i would probably walk them in the winter time anyway.xxx

 

[JASMAK]

for me it would depend on the area. we live in a safe area, but have cougars and bears. if there was druggies or the like, no.

 

[sabby52]

I have a 14 year old son and although I feel he is old enough ( and has ) to walk places in the dark, if he felt uncomfortable or didn't want to then I wouldn't make him x

 

[morri]

seeing as we live quite far in the northern hemisphere it just gets dark at 4 pm in the winter time. therefore it should not be a problem to walk to the club. I walked (or cycled) back from my friends places when I was in primary school and I don't see why they shouldnt be able to.