would you phone the police if a neighbours baby was crying?

[meli1981]

Ummmm no! Babies cry...sounds like the neighbors were just annoyed by the babies cries....

 

[weejenb]

I have to be honest. If I was home alone I would not knock on a strangers door if I was concerned something was going on. If someone wanted to hurt their own baby p- I doubt they would have much problem hurting me.

I'm not sure how I feel about this situation if I am honest.

While I do think they have maybe been a bit off hand and silly- I don't think it is right to judge what people are like from these situations which it sounds like you have.

I wouldn't go round there- but maybe pop a note through the door apologising for any inconvenience caused to them etc, explain how young your child is (I am of course assuming they haven't met him here) and that if they have any concerns in the future to knock on the door- or maybe leave them a telephone number they can call.

Who knows whether they did it out of maliciousness. But if you make these steps to lead to the easier path in the future- you will know if it happens again.

What on earth should the OP apologise for? Her child crying? How could that possibly be perceived as an inconvenience?!

 

[NoodleSnack]

I think what we need to keep in mind is that the neighbours assumed to have done this are students in their 20s. We are all mothers here and know what babies are like but I know until I had DD if I'd heard a baby scream the way she does sometimes even for just 10 minutes I would have thought that something was terribly wrong. And if I believed that a child was at risk then I would do something about it.

For the people calling the neighbours cowards and saying their wrong not to check themselves, well maybe that would have been more rational but we don't know what sort of area the OP lives in - maybe they didn't feel safe and if there had been a child at risk then it's better to do something rather than nothing. As for not right to leave the baby if mother was passed out - how would they know even if they did knock on the door? Attitudes like this are only going to make people take an 'it's not my problem' position and then children who really are being abused and do need help may be ignored.

If no one answers the door and the child is still crying, then it's sensible to do more - it's not hard to work that out.

You assume they did it because they care which you don't know to be the case. If they called because they are annoyed by the noise, they are assholes. I was a student without a child once, I would check things out before calling the police on a parent.

 

[meli1981]

Why should the op apologize?

 

[catty]

I have to be honest. If I was home alone I would not knock on a strangers door if I was concerned something was going on. If someone wanted to hurt their own baby p- I doubt they would have much problem hurting me.

I'm not sure how I feel about this situation if I am honest.

While I do think they have maybe been a bit off hand and silly- I don't think it is right to judge what people are like from these situations which it sounds like you have.

I wouldn't go round there- but maybe pop a note through the door apologising for any inconvenience caused to them etc, explain how young your child is (I am of course assuming they haven't met him here) and that if they have any concerns in the future to knock on the door- or maybe leave them a telephone number they can call.

Who knows whether they did it out of maliciousness. But if you make these steps to lead to the easier path in the future- you will know if it happens again.

I was going to write a note but then I decided iv absolutely nothing to be sorry about. And I shouldnt have to apologise for my son at his young age. I didnt want the note to come across as if I was pissed off at them which is the only way it would come across so iv left it.

I definately would understand if the police were called if he cried for an hour plus, or if I didnt answrr the door or if there was shouting and loud noises but none of this occured in the 10 mins it took them to call the police

 

[meli1981]

Hun...you have NOTHING to apologize for...even if baby was cryong for hours! Its your house! Its not as if you left your son outside to cry! Its ok for babies to cry! Sometimes we do everything we can....and they still cry...big

 

[MetalMaiden]

I wouldn't call the police if it were me but honestly i have wondered if it was possible for anyone to do such... esp the few times we've dabbled trying to crib train (needless to say we still cosleep ha).

people will disagree with me (and internally i battle with the decision myself as i hate having to unnecessarily justify myself) but I would probably write them a "short factual" memo indicating something to the effect of thank you for your concern in contacting local authorities on behalf of the well being of my child however let it be known such and such and we apologize for any future audible inconveniences to you". basically telling them to eff off, mind their own business, you know it was them and "apologizing" for the fact it probably wont be the last time they hear crying after all, they were babies too once upon a time

 

[Noo]

To be fair, I would apologise if my children were causing enough noise to be heard in someone else's home just to highlight I am aware that it may disturb them but then I'd leave it at that and never apologise again as they're aware you're mindful of their peace in their home. I think that would be common courtesy if living in a communal block where others can hear your noise though I'd probably also request music was kept low!

 

[Noodlebear]

I agree with all of you actually. I would apologise but that's just me, I know full well that I don't have to and won't be annoyed if next door's bump is a noisy one and I don't get an apology. I just feel it'd be polite to do so if my LO was crying louder/more than usual. There's no way in hell you can apologise every time a baby cries though, it's what they do.

 

[HPmum2B]

My neighbor (little old lady) often says how she never hears my DD. I can't believe that for a minute, as she can be very loud! And I can hear when my neighbor turns her shower on in the morning.
I do often say to my neighbor if I see her outside when DD is having a grouchy day "I do hope we are not making too much noise" etc etc. While I know it is normal for babies and children to cry for various reasons, I also imagine it can be a bit of a pain for people living near by that may be able to hear it.
I also apologize to my neighbour if we have been doing alot of DIY or something similar that she may be hearing through the walls.

As for calling the police, you get alot of different people out there, some are familiar with what is normal for a baby, some are not. While I know there are alot of people out there that like to stick their nose into other peoples business all the time. Some people can be genuinely concerned for someones welfare. Without know the people that called the police, I would like to give them the benefit of the doubt that they were doing it with everyone's best interests.

While it may be seen as better for them to knock first, they may not want to put themselves in what could be a potentially uncomfortable situation. If they call the police, they know they have alerted someone to a ?possible? danger, without getting themselves involved. If they had knocked on the door, they may have not been greeted with a pleasant response. I know if I was tearing my hair out with my baby crying, I might not be that nice to anyone that came to my door (and I generally am a nice person).

There have been many stories of 'bad' things happening (I am not necessarily talking about child abuse here, could be parents have had an accident/become ill etc...), where one simple phone call from a concerned neighbor could have changed a bad outcome to a good one.

 

[alicecooper]

No I wouldn't call the police for a crying baby. Babies cry, it's a fact of life. IMO anybody who calls the police for a crying baby is an idiot. Why didn't they just come and knock on your door to make sure everything is okay?

I don't believe the whole "they must have had your best interests at heart" stuff to tell you the truth. They should have come and knocked on your door before jumping to conclusions.

I also wouldn't apologise. What exactly are you apologising for? Your baby doing what babies do? Definitely not.

 

[dan-o]

I agree, couldn't they have just knocked on the door to see if everything was ok? Calling the police seems very extreme.

 

[catty]

I dont know for definate who actually complained though as theres 2 flats below us which it might have been. Obviously only one of them called so I hardly want to knock on both of their doors to explain the be situation when one of them will be clueless to what im on about as im assuming they wont know the police came. I never see them in the passing probably 5 times since weve lived there.


My dad has said nect time hes crying alot maybe we should call the non emergancy police number and explain were worried our neighbour might call the police on us (not sure if I would do that though)

 

[amjon]

If it was hours and hours and sounded like they weren't being attending possibly but for a few minutes, no. Babies cry and sometimes take a little while to calm.

 

[aliss]

I don't see that an apology is necessary - it seems as if these people called due to a concern, rather than a noise complaint. Noise complaints warrant apologies, concerns for welfare do not.

I personally might knock on a door, but I am not concerned about things like checking someone's welfare or confrontation. Some people struggle with that and feel it safer to let the authorities do it.

Again, while common sense should be applied, people should not feel shamed for being concerned about an infant's welfare. It was an unfounded concern and that's all.

 

[meli1981]

I probsbly would apologize for my crying baby....im canadian after all

 

[cat lover]

Calling after 10 mins is just ridiculous. And i really think they should have knocked on the door to express their 'concern'. To me it sounds like either

a) they have NO idea that babies cry, or
b) they were just irritated by the noise and wanted it dealt withh

In either case the OP should absolutely not apologise. If anyone should, the neighbours should IMHO

 

[meli1981]

I agree...the neighbors should be apologizing...

 

[mum22ttc#3]

For 10 minutes, seriously? No I wouldn't. Totally ott IMO.

I wouldn't have a problem calling the police whatsoever if I genuinely thought a child was being abused or neglected but 10 minutes of crying? Really if that's the only thing that they had to go on that a child was being abused etc then I'm sure 99% of the ladies on here would have had the police at their door.
I've had 3 easy children that have slept through very early, rarely cried etc and even I would have had them turn up at my door multiple times. If that had been my neighbours then I would be pretty pissed with them.

Like I said my kids have been pretty easy so far but I actually feel sorry for the mums that have colicky babies etc after reading that so many would be picking up the phone after only 10 minutes.

 

[HKateH]

I would apologise. But that's because I hate bad blood and awkwardness. I'm happy to apologise even if I don't feel in the wrong as sometimes it helps relationships. I don't see any harm in "I apologise if my baby's crying worried you. I hope the noise didn't bother you too much, but LO is going through a phase and you might hear it a bit more. If you're worried again, give me a knock so I can reassure you!"