Would you try straight away after a 21 week loss?

[Munchkin30]

Hey all,
In case you've not met me here before I joined last July when I had a 12 week mmc. I took misiprostol and had a managed mc. I started trying that month but only had an 11 day Lp (it went straight back to my usual 13 after that)

Anyway, after 3 more cycles I got my bfp and a was well until my 20 week scan when they spotted a serious priblem with the heart. After specialist scans and advice we knew our only option was to induce and not put our baby through the pain. She was born naturally at 21+3 2 weeks ago today. She was induced again with misoprostol.

Now I'd told myself we would leave it til I had 1 AF but I'm desparate to try again and this is looking like a really long cycle

So would you try straight away or wait? And why??

Thanks all xxx

 

[RaspberryK]

Oh this is terrible I'm very sorry!
I don't know if anyone knows what they'd do until it happened to them.
But I would say that you've just given birth, it's probably best from a medical point of view for your own body to recover and wait at least one cycle.
Have you finished bleeding yet?
I had an early miscarriage and I thought it best to wait but I feel it's helping me to try again but we are kind of in between wtt and ntnp for other reasons.
Xx

 

[celine]

Hi munchkin, there isnt a day that passes that i dont think of you x
I think i would probably try again with the attitude still that if my body isnt ready it wont catch the egg.
If you fell right away you would probably stress out with every passng week as much as if you you caught a cycle later.

 

[Munchkin30]

Thanks ladies. You are lovely. Ive not been back on baby and bump much, its too hard thinking im back where i was last july still!
Im still bleeding but lightly bit we wont try til thats stopped anyway. Celine i know trying straight away tends to work for you but would you still do it after such a late loss?

Once again im doing all i can to get my body back to being pregnancy ready as soon as i can. Im taking conception vits, iron, high dose folic acid and omegas to byild my reserves back up and agnus castus, b6, epo and raspberry leaf capsules to try and sort my hormones. Im eating well and drinking loads of water and even going to the gym so surely im in as good a shape as lots of women trying?? After 2 chromosomal problems though i cant risk it if my bodys not ready to build a healthy baby yet. What to do what to do??

 

[klsltsp]

Hey munchkin

I'm soo sorry for your loss, I've been following you and am soo sad for you and your family.

What does your doc say? Are you taking 5 mg of folic acid? I too am taking that much. I'm not sure how many months of the high folic acid is recommended to prevent (as much as possible) chromosonal issues. If it was me that's what I would check. I am desperate myself to be pregnant too, but in my head know that I need to wait...

Good luck!!

Kim

 

[Munchkin30]

Hey Kim. Thank you xx I've been taking the high dose folic since the month before I got pregnant with Rowan because my sister had a baby with spina bifida. I ran out just before Rowan's birth but back on it the past couple of days. I'm using my maternity exemption card to get free prescriptions even though I'm not pregnant anymore!! I don't care, I didn't get it til I was about 20 weeks so I've spent a fortune on prescription folic already!! Why are you taking it? Does it help with other chromosomal issues? I've not seen my gp yet but my midwife and the bereavement midwife at the hospital both said we needed to wait til the genetic tests and post mortem were back which should be another month. It won't change anything though, they won't say we have 100% chance of a child with this heart condition because our dd is perfectly healthy. And we'd handle pretty much any other heart condition.

Tell me a bit more about your story xx

 

[RaspberryK]

Sounds more and more upsetting and stressful through more I read of your story
I believe in what's meant to be will happen, so go with your heart and you'll conceive when it's the right time.
Sounds like you're doing everything you can to help your body to be healthy.
Xx

 

[Munchkin30]

Thanks raspberry xx I suspect we won't be able to try this month. After my last mc i was doing hpts every day to track the line fading and I got a positive opk the same day I got my first really negative hpt. This time I can't bear to do hpts and watch them getting lighter and lighter so I won't be able to know when I'm due to ov. I think all I can hope is for thus cycle to end sooner rather than later and have a normal next cycle or bfp!!

 

[klsltsp]

Hey Munchkin

Glad you're on the high dose and getting the prescriptions!! I have a good friend who had a loss at 22 weeks, they tested the baby and there was a chromosone issue. Her doctor had said that they could do IVF and that there was a way to do some genetic testing before they implant, just a thought. For her there was a 1/4 chance of the same thing happening again they were pregnant again within 6 months and had a CVS done at 11 weeks to do the genetic testing, this way if they needed to terminate it was much sooner. The baby was perfectly healthy!!

AFM well I was pregnant last August, the baby had implanted on my c-section scar though and I mc at 9.5 weeks beginning of Oct. After I MC although we thought I had passed everything, some tissue remained stuck in my scar... continued to grow and I ended up with a mass (tumor so to speak) that was all the way through my uterus wall... I was within a day or so of my uterus rupturing. They admitted me to the hospital for 5 days, gave me methotrexate to kill the tissue. It was all quite scary especially since they thought at first it was cancer... then if my uterus ruptured it was a hysterectomy... by mid January my levels were finally zero I did a special u/s in February to see if my uterus wall has healed since there was essentially a hole in it.. well this u/s showed that my uterus was too thin to carry a pregnancy at this point...my uterus could rupture which would be life threatening to me and the baby.. so as much as I want desperately to be pregnant I just can't I have another u/s in June to see if my uterus wall has gotten any thicker... if not then we may be done having babies I'm on the high dose folic acid though since the methotrexate strips your body of all folic acid, and I'm 38 so my ob thought it was a good idea..

Sorry that this was so long hope you're taking care of yourself.

Kim

 

[celine]

Youre right munchkin i dont know how id feel after such a late loss
How are you feeling about it?
I like that you are focussing on a healthy body while still wih the last bleeds, you are amazing! If you feel you migght need an extra month to whip your bosy up into shape it cant do any harm? Or set yourselves a ttc date, in case your body takes a bit longer to get back to ovulation? If your body took say two months to regukate itself would you then wait another month?

 

[Munchkin30]

Oh kls you've had such a hard time of it and waiting til June to try?? That's awful, I feel very lucky in comparison in some ways. When we found out we were going to lose Rowan my best friend who hasn't got any babies was shocked that weren't offering a c section but she didn't understand the complications. I think sometimes people see c sections as an easy way out but they're really not. I feel really lucky I JUST managed a vaginal birth with dd1 and with Rowan. I looked up the IVF thing but selection for chromosomal issues looks really new. I'd certainly consider it if it was offered though. Next time we'd gave a fairly good idea of any problems at 12 weeks with specialist scans and by 16 weeks this heart problem would be ruled out.

Celine I think that's a good idea. Possibly 6 weeks from the birth if I haven't ov'd yet I'll try and track it and try then. It would line up with the meeting about the post mortem and genetic testing so it's probably a good time and it stops me having this un known time we could start again. Being the eternal optimist I'm hoping the fact I'm now not Breastfeeding, and that hcg is actually lower at 21 than 12 weeks will mean ill ov sooner rather than later but I'm probably being too positive!!

 

[celine]

As you know any ttc after a loss is up in the air, you could ov like tomorrow ir 6 weeks from now but good idea to wait 6 weeks and hear the pm etc.
How is oh coping?

 

[JoWantsABaby]

Hi, I'm so sorry to see what has happened. I hope you don't mind but I've been stalking a few threads for a while and following your journey but I hadn't realised you'd had such a late loss. I feel quite selfish that I'm moaning about my early loss when u have been through so much
I really don't know how to answer your question. I agree with some of the girls though, it's hard to imagine what you're going through but I think I'd just try. If you feel emotionally strong enough, and your body ovulates ( and to me, that's a sign you're physically ready) then I think I'd go for it. It obvs depends on what your partner wants too.
I just hope everything works out next time and always bear in mind that there are lots of options open to u - eg chromosomal checks, IVF etc
Xx

 

[JoWantsABaby]

Ps I'm in the Midlands too... ! I live in Barnt Green near Bromsgrove x

 

[Celesse]

Sensible head says that I'd wait. I'm struggling with low iron levels this pregnancy following my 11 week loss. Its a lot for your body to go through. I guess at 21 weeks your body has given birth rather than had a miscarriage so it might need longer to recover.

Emotionally though, I think I'd want to try straight away. Hard as TTC can be, I'd want to get back on track with my baby plans.

My BIL had what sounds like the same heart problem that took your Rowan, only it wasn't discovered until he was born at term. He was whisked away to another hospital and didn't get through surgery. This was back in the 1970's. There's been no other babies in the family affected since or before. My OH was MIL's rainbow. Fingers crossed for you that your genetic testing is good news.

 

[SnowGal]

We had a 26 week loss, unfortunately a C section (not by choice) I would have loved to try right away, but due to the c section was told a minimum of 6 months. Which is today. So yes, given the choice we would have tried sooner. ITs hard to have a loss that late when you have already pictured your life with a baby, I imagine the next pregnancy will have totally different emotions...

PS I love the name Rowan, its my sons name.

 

[Baby.Love12]

I am very sorry and could never imagine having to go through that. I would say to wait as hard as it may be and if your age allows it so that you may heal emotionally. So many times it is said take time to heal from a physical standpoint but what about the emotional strain from it all. I am praying for you to find peace and really hope that when you are ready you have a perfect baby. Best of luck to you.

 

[Munchkin30]

Snowgal I'm so very sorry for your loss. In some ways my first 12 week loss was harder but once you've felt a baby move in your tummy no one will ever understand how hard it is to say goodbye.

Thanks Celesse and baby love xxx

In the end it was taken away from me, even though I'd decided not to try the first month snyway. May AF started last Friday although it's extremely wierd and still going on 8 days later. We will try this month but I believe my body will take more time to heal as nothing is normal physically! I have just started acupuncture which I really believe will help physically and emotionally. I will never forget Rowan and will still be grieving her in some ways but don't believe it'll take anything away from my future pregnancy and rainbow baby xx

 

[Blondish_keg]

Munchkin I am so sorry for your loss, I cannot imagine what your journey must have been like.
sounds like you had your decision made for you already this month but I just wanted to say you should do what your heart tells you. sending positive thoughts and feelings your way