writing a will for the care of LO if the worst was to happen

[babycrazy1706]

this is a really morbid question but its something i have been thinking about

the thing is..... my ex is from the caribbean but has lived in the uk for 8 years and we have a 10month old son. if i was to die whilst my son is young i DO NOT want him to move to and live in the caribbean (so many reasons why), i want him to be raised here in the uk with my family and his father too. ex has joint parental responsibility because he is on the birth certificate, i dont think that ex would want to raise him in the caribbean but if there any kind of will i can write over what would happen regarding my sons care if i die?

does anyone know?
thanks

 

[Dream.dream]

You have to get a lawyer to draw it up but yess you can .

Him being on the birth certificate doesn't automatically give him joint custody unless you guys were married .

 

[babycrazy1706]

ok. thanks for replying Xx

 

[Rags]

Hi, it's really important to speak to a lawyer as laws to do with custudy and inheritance differ depending on where you are. I have willed my son to my mother and brother, beyond leaving money and property in trust for him they will make all decisions about where he lives and how he's brought up if i'm gone. I just have to trust that they will do what's best for him and think about what I would have done. The executor of my will will police property and financial stuff but not his upbringing.
Like all of us though I'm very much hoping we never have to find out what happens.

 

[babycrazy1706]

Hi, it's really important to speak to a lawyer as laws to do with custudy and inheritance differ depending on where you are. I have willed my son to my mother and brother, beyond leaving money and property in trust for him they will make all decisions about where he lives and how he's brought up if i'm gone. I just have to trust that they will do what's best for him and think about what I would have done. The executor of my will will police property and financial stuff but not his upbringing.
Like all of us though I'm very much hoping we never have to find out what happens.

do you live in the uk?
did fob have to agree to any of these terms?
also how much does it cost to have this done with a lawyer?
thanks Xx

 

[Dezireey]

Oh lord this reminds me that this is something that I have to do ASAP.

 

[Dream.dream]

Hi, it's really important to speak to a lawyer as laws to do with custudy and inheritance differ depending on where you are. I have willed my son to my mother and brother, beyond leaving money and property in trust for him they will make all decisions about where he lives and how he's brought up if i'm gone. I just have to trust that they will do what's best for him and think about what I would have done. The executor of my will will police property and financial stuff but not his upbringing.
Like all of us though I'm very much hoping we never have to find out what happens.

do you live in the uk?
did fob have to agree to any of these terms?
also how much does it cost to have this done with a lawyer?
thanks Xx

Not in the uk but where are you located? I have knowledge of British common law which is what alot of its based on. Lawyer it will depend on how many hours it takes them to draft it and it can be a bit pricey however they will make sure you have all your bases covered ( don't rely on those will kits they are easy to mess up) but you don't need anyone's permission for what to put in your will

It gets complicate with baby's dad , if he actually has joint custody , then its assumed if you pass that all parenting goes to him.

 

[babycrazy1706]

I'm in england.

 

[Rags]

Hi, it's really important to speak to a lawyer as laws to do with custudy and inheritance differ depending on where you are. I have willed my son to my mother and brother, beyond leaving money and property in trust for him they will make all decisions about where he lives and how he's brought up if i'm gone. I just have to trust that they will do what's best for him and think about what I would have done. The executor of my will will police property and financial stuff but not his upbringing.
Like all of us though I'm very much hoping we never have to find out what happens.

do you live in the uk?
did fob have to agree to any of these terms?
also how much does it cost to have this done with a lawyer?
thanks Xx

I'm in Scotland and some of our laws are very different from the rest of the UK but I think the custody stuff can be similar. I am in an unusual position in that lo doesn't have a father as I used on anonymous donor who, even if he was aware of my son, would have no legal rights to him. My brother is very much his father figure and if the worst was to happen I know he'd do a brilliant job of raising him. Even though I have willed him to my mum and brother they will still have to be officially appointed by the courts who will take my wishes into account so it's not completely cut and dried. I only know this because I have a disabled adult relative and the lawyer pointed this part out to her mum when she made her will.
Cost - I already had a legaly drawn up will which mentioned what should happen to my property (gosh that sounds like I've something worth having!) and cash if I should die with or without children. It cost about £200. When I had my son the same lawyer added a codicil about his custody, this cost £90. I am aware that if she wanted to my sister could apply for custody and would be considered even though she's not in my will. It's all far to complicated when it comes to children, really needs a good lawyers advice.

 

[babycrazy1706]

wow complicated! i need to do some proper research i think. thanks. Xx

 

[Rags]

You'll feel much happier about enjoying your life once it's done. It's much easier to enjoy the best once you've planned for the worst.

 

[babycrazy1706]

Yeh ur right. Thanks Xx