Wtc but for how long?

[Beastandbaby9]

Whens the right time to TTC? We are married. Have own home, mostly financially stable .

 

[HappyWife90]

Sounds like you have already waited a lot longer than other people do! In such a case, I'd say give it a go whenever you and DH want! There is always a chance that it might take a little while anyway. Are there other specific things you were waiting for/wanting to do before having kids - major backpacking trip, ultimate bar hop ? I'm still a very new mom, but thus far have found that having a child did NOT change who DH and I are, which is great. The big bust is that we are completing projects/tasks at a snail's pace compared to what we were doing before. But our beautiful baby is definitely worth it for us! If you're ready to be inconvenienced that way, it could be time. (We bought a house that needs some reno literally an hour after our baby boy was born - a MAJOR project - and we're still surviving!)

 

[Beastandbaby9]

Sounds like you have already waited a lot longer than other people do! In such a case, I'd say give it a go whenever you and DH want! There is always a chance that it might take a little while anyway. Are there other specific things you were waiting for/wanting to do before having kids - major backpacking trip, ultimate bar hop ? I'm still a very new mom, but thus far have found that having a child did NOT change who DH and I are, which is great. The big bust is that we are completing projects/tasks at a snail's pace compared to what we were doing before. But our beautiful baby is definitely worth it for us! If you're ready to be inconvenienced that way, it could be time. (We bought a house that needs some reno literally an hour after our baby boy was born - a MAJOR project - and we're still surviving!)

I think we are done doing all the major crazy stuff a baby would prevent so I guess we could start trying

 

[CowgirlBaby]

Depends when you and your DH are ready. I just started up my business 2 months ago and my DH and I got married October. 24th and we start TTC November. 18th. So whenever you and your DH are ready is the best suggestion I can give.

 

[Beastandbaby9]

Depends when you and your DH are ready. I just started up my business 2 months ago and my DH and I got married October. 24th and we start TTC November. 18th. So whenever you and your DH are ready is the best suggestion I can give.

We got married in june. But I'm also in college still but I know the baby won't be a huge Hinderer to classes honestly

 

[kksy9b]

I think with still being in school there is a lot to consider before trying. Who would watch baby while you were in class? If they would need to be in day care, would you be able to afford it comfortably? If you plan on breastfeeding, how would this alter those plans? Would DH be able to watch/care for baby in the evenings so you can study?what are your plans for after school? How will having a baby impact your chosen career or if you plan to stay home, can you make it on one income? How heavy is your class load and would you have time in the week for doctor appointments (towards the end you have a lot of appointments)? How flexible are your professors in this regard (ie- if you miss xx amount of classes do you get dropped)? If you have MS, will you still be able to make it to class (my personality is one that would tend to not go if feeling bad enough. this pregnancy has been very rough compared to my first so this would be a hard question for me)? Are you able to take time off of school after baby to heal and bond and still get back on track with graduating?

There are a lot more things to consider, but those would be a start. IMO, I would wait until you are done with school. Or try to plan so baby would be born in between school and starting work (unless you plan to stay home) to give you built in maternity leave. If you are going to work straight after graduating, look into the maternity benefits where you live (mobile so can't see what country you're in). See how long you need to be working to qualify for benefits and plan for a baby after you would qualify for leave.

I found a baby to be WAY more time consuming than I ever imagined. He would nurse for over an hour at a time, refused to be away from me and would never sleep. My body didn't respond well to pumping and the couple times we tried giving him pumped milk he flat out refused to take a bottle and would go on a hunger strike. This meant he was attached to me constantly because no one else could feed him (he finally started STTN at 17 months and at 2.5 now is a dream- super easy but thr first 17 months were terrible).The adjustment was hard and I barely had time to take a shower, let alone concentrate on anything else. Every baby is different, of course. Yours may be super easy going and fit right in with no issues. But there is always a chance you have a more high needs child who takes more of your time than you realize they will need and need to account for that possibility. Plan for the worst, hope for the best kind of situation.

Ultimately you and DH are the only ones who know when you're ready. But I would look at the practical side of things and weigh it against the emotional.

Good luck!

 

[MindUtopia]

I think when you feel like you've done all the things you want to do before you have a child and your life completely changes (and doing those things becomes a lot more difficult) and when it won't make doing the things you want to do in the next few years too stressful or overwhelming to manage.

My husband and I had our first when I was 32 which was a good age and time for us. We'd spent our 20s doing whatever we wanted, enjoyed life, traveled, lived and worked overseas, had lots of time to be selfish and do all the things you can't easily do with small children. We didn't own a house and actually we still don't, which is more of a personal choice as we wanted to save and wait until we were further along in our careers so we could buy the sort of house we really wanted, so renting made a lot more sense. But we were sort of at a place where we were ready to close one chapter and start another and not have any regrets about all the things we were going to be leaving behind. I was still half way through a PhD program when our daughter was born, but that was actually a blessing because it meant I had the time and flexibility to be at home and to adjust my schedule around her. The downside to studying while you have a small child is that childcare is very expensive and a PhD doesn't pay much, so it's been a financially tight few years, but manageable. I know some people can manage working at home and a baby, but frankly, I am not one of those people. A baby is all-consuming. There is rarely a free moment in the day, even when they nap, you're either getting caught up on the mountain of stuff you need to do that you can't get done while they're awake, or you need to sleep yourself because you only got three hours the night before. And evenings are usually short and interrupted, I would put my daughter to bed at like 7, she might wake up twice in the evening and then we'd go to bed ourselves at 9:30-10. You can't get much done then either. And childcare is about £800 a month. It's more than our rent! So you really just need to know that you are at a place in life when you can clear your schedule and have time and money for that sort of commitment. I'm glad I had my daughter while I was still in school, because otherwise we'd only be looking to have our first now and I'm 36. I wouldn't have wanted to wait that long, but it does take a lot of family support and money to make it happen.

We are looking to have our second soon and though we're more financially secure and settled now, life is definitely more stressful and I have a lot more professional pressures on me than I did when I was younger. I think you're ready when you're ready for your life to change and to give up some of the comforts and the easiness and flexibility you have now and be okay with that. Having a baby is a major life change and you'll never get back what you had before, even though you'll have a new kind of life. My husband and I used to have nights alone and dinners out and weekend trips away. We have literally spent 4 nights alone in nearly 4 years. Otherwise, we're home, in bed early most nights and up by 6am every day, 7 days a week. If you feel ready for that, you're likely ready. I think it has much less to do with financial security than it has to do with if you're in the place in life where you can genuinely cope with it and come out stronger on the other side. That's not to say being a parent isn't amazing. It's the best thing I've ever done in my life, but it's also so, so hard and so exhausting.

 

[BSN2MOM]

My DH and I started trying after his sister's wedding. We were married by that point approximately 2 years, had a good start on our careers, and pretty financially stable (sounds a lot like yourself). I still think there are times I wonder "what the hell are we doing?" and worry about when we do get pregnant but it's just kind of a "well, we know we want kids!" and start kind of thing . I thought for sure the first time we didn't use protection that would be the end all be all but turns out this baby making thing isn't always straight forward. Best of luck to you!