WTT second baby :)

[babyl2be]

Hi ladies,
Basically Im wondering how long of a gap do you think should be left between having your first child and waiting to try for your second?
I was blessed to have given birth to a beautifull healthy baby boy a month ago and can not stop thinking about when to try again, Theres no work, financial or health reasons stopping me and my husband is very supportive. I really dont like the idea of going back on birth control. What do you all think? Or if anyone has more than one baby what would your advise be?

 

[clarebare85]

hi,

i would love to hear thoughts on this too, as my son turns three next month and i have been dying for no.2 for ages now,but hubby keeps making me wait...i getting so stressed out about the age gap as i want htem to be close and grow up together and i feel like im running out of time...please someone tell me i am crazt...any one with a big age gap and there children still close...

thanks

 

[Hunbun]

I am planning to wait until my LO is 2 at least. But thats more for financial reasons than anything.

 

[Pearls18]

Medically speaking they recommend a year between pregnancies, which is even more so important for women who had c-sections. I guess other than that it's down to you! Some women like bigger gaps to space out the baby phase and get more time with the older child, other mums like to have babies close together. I am going for a 3 year gap which I believe is somewhere in the middle, enough of a gap to have LO potty trained, lots of time with but small enough that I am not starting all over again once LO is in school, and close enough gap to be playmates! This is just what I think will work for us

 

[QTPie]

Medically speaking they recommend a year between pregnancies, which is even more so important for women who had c-sections.

Actually depends on your age. I had an ELCS (breech) and my Consultant (who is very very good) recommended only waiting 6 months (I was just a week below 36 at the time). Still here I am and DS is 22 months.... (but that is more me having problems convincing DH....

Personally - from experience and common sense - I would agree with MarineWAG, though, because I think that a woman's body takes a REAL BATTERING during pregnancy (your nutrients are literally leached out of your body and bones....) and 12 months of recovery (eating well, getting yourself back together) can only be a good thing. Both for your long term health (osteoparosis etc) and for your second baby (so that pregnancy has a full set of nutrients to plunder from your body too...).

Given a choice, I would have started TTC at 12 months. Then you have a "just under 2 year" age gap: the children wont have too disimilar interests as they grow up and your first one should be "more independent" (walking, understanding, talking etc) when number two arrives (which will help!).

Some people prefer number 1 to be at nursery/preschool before number 2 comes along - so they have more time with number 2. There are pros and cons to a larger age gap...

Men are ALWAYS more likely to drag their feet re having another one

QT
(going to TTC in late Jan/early Feb)

 

[I Love Lucy]

I don't have a child yet but I would want a 2-3 year age gap. My sister and I have a 2 year age gap and we loved playing the same stuff. My OH has 3 brothers, 2 older and 1 younger and it seems he is just not as close to the brothers who are a lot older then him. It makes sense because obviously their not in the same place in their lives but I think it's kind of sad at the same time.

 

[Phantom710]

I am going to try in July/August 2012 that will make baby 9 or 10 mos.

 

[LovemyBubx]

Due to a mixture of things we will prob have a 3-4 year gap between DD & #2

I don't mind because DD will be more independent & will be going to school, & she loves babies so hopefully she will be very hands on helping to look after her little brother or sister.

Also i suppose it would be quite nice to be able to do something just me & DD e.g. she will be old enough to play board games so that will be something just me & her could do for a while so she gets some mummy time, just me & her.

But i hate having to wait, so broody

 

[RainbowDrop_x]

If I had the choice when DD was a lot younger I would have had a baby at the word go!!

I'm sooooo glad I didn't .. It's hard having a baby but even harder having a toddler... I could never imagine having both I think I would have to check myself in somewhere

I'm waiting until DD is ATLEAST 3!!

 

[stargazer]

Hubby and I have had to wait before ttc number 2 for housing reasons (we are only in a one bed flat atm) but we are currently in the process of buying our house, which hopefully we will be in sometime in December! We want to start ttc as soon as we are in because then there is nothing stopping us! Our son is 2yrs 2 months, so hopefully, there will be just about a 3 year age gap between them, which I personally wanted between my children anyway. I think having 2 essentially babies (under 2) would be incredibly difficult and I have enjoyed having time to spend just with my son before we add another member to our family. xx

 

[Pearls18]

Medically speaking they recommend a year between pregnancies, which is even more so important for women who had c-sections.

Actually depends on your age. I had an ELCS (breech) and my Consultant (who is very very good) recommended only waiting 6 months (I was just a week below 36 at the time). Still here I am and DS is 22 months.... (but that is more me having problems convincing DH....

Ah right ok, when I was discussing contraception with my doctor and I said I was initially worried about some forms because I knew we would be TTC some time soon-ish (2 years) she panicked and was like oooh nooo you have to wait a year bla, bla, apparently the womb and all that region take a while to heal......having said that, this was the same doctor who told me I'd be safe while BF so perhaps I shouldn't have taken her word as gospel (not that I fell pregnant but it's silly advice!!)

It took me a while to feel recovered, I don't know why I had a very good birth, I guess I didn't feel like I really got my body back until after I finished BFing at 9 months. It's crazy how it affects your body, I had my first filling this year and lost looooads of hair, not to balding point but my hair line is so much higher now, thankfully it's growing back. I'm enjoying having my body back, I have to say it felt like a year before I was me again?? x

 

[QTPie]

I think that GPs er on the side of caution - it isn't bad advice really, if not 100% correct.

Absolutely completely agree with you. I don't think that it is birth that does it to us (although a traumatic birth wouldn't help recovery...), it is just the toll that pregnancy has on us. Pregnancy is AMAZING really, but it really is like just having a really greedy parasite in your body....

Breastfeeding too - most amazing thing to do for your baby (and FANTASTIC for weight/fat loss!), but it does take a bit out of you.

I suppose that if you think of pregnancy being 10 months, then it is only reasonable that it takes 10+ months (or a year or so) to "recover" properly.

QT

Medically speaking they recommend a year between pregnancies, which is even more so important for women who had c-sections.

Actually depends on your age. I had an ELCS (breech) and my Consultant (who is very very good) recommended only waiting 6 months (I was just a week below 36 at the time). Still here I am and DS is 22 months.... (but that is more me having problems convincing DH....

Ah right ok, when I was discussing contraception with my doctor and I said I was initially worried about some forms because I knew we would be TTC some time soon-ish (2 years) she panicked and was like oooh nooo you have to wait a year bla, bla, apparently the womb and all that region take a while to heal......having said that, this was the same doctor who told me I'd be safe while BF so perhaps I shouldn't have taken her word as gospel (not that I fell pregnant but it's silly advice!!)

It took me a while to feel recovered, I don't know why I had a very good birth, I guess I didn't feel like I really got my body back until after I finished BFing at 9 months. It's crazy how it affects your body, I had my first filling this year and lost looooads of hair, not to balding point but my hair line is so much higher now, thankfully it's growing back. I'm enjoying having my body back, I have to say it felt like a year before I was me again?? x

 

[bananabump]

Me and OH are going to try for a honeymoon baby! We're getting married in October next year so Leo will be 14 months. I got pregnant after 3 days of TTC so fingers crossed it's as speedy next time! That will make Leo about 23 months when the baby is born which I think is quite a nice age gap! x x x

 

[SugarBeth]

We're going to start trying in April for #2, when dd is 9 months old. I want to keep them close but give my body time to heal between them.

 

[clarsair]

I think a year is ideal for physical recovery and, I found, the broodiness can lessen a lot during that time. We're waiting until LOs 18 months but that's mainly because of financial reasons and I really want to have the best chance of a VBAC.

 

[sequeena]

If there's nothing stopping you and both you and your partner would love another so soon then why not go for it Me and my partner are waiting until 2013 because we'd like a bit of an age gap x

 

[Quackquack99]

Yeah we are waiting two years, mainly because we want to adjust to being a parent. I'm hopefully buying a house next year and finally pregnancy is a strain on the body. I completely see why people complain towards the end. I'm not broody just yet but for some reason I'm petrified of being pregnant but excited to get pregnant. Its hard to explain because I now know what to expect

 

[Zoelle]

I would say 1-2 year(s), you wouldn't want them to be too close or too far apart.

 

[CityGirlEire]

My son is seven but has special needs and I feel I could cope now but my PCOS has blown me up.... So I need to get down to about eight stone to get my hormones under control... Then I can start scouting for sperm donors!