x

[scottishgal89]

Wha an awful situation, I am so sorry. I have been in similar situations, but nowhere near as bad.
Does/Will he get legal aid? If he doesnt, you will soon see if he ACTUALLY wants to see your lo as without Legal Aid it will cost him a fortune, and if he is just doing it to piss you off, he wont want to pay for it.
Also, have you thought about a restrianing order? If you got one of those to keep him away from you and your lo, you would be safer, and it would also go against him should it go to court.
Has he ever been convicted/had a warning about his behaviour?
Should it go to court, the judge will not allow him to see your lo unsupervised. If he was granted contact, it would most likely go to a contact centre, but this isnt usually a permanent situation, and would most likely have a time limit on it (eg 3 months) unless of course he is clearly, and can be proven to be a violent man.
Does your lo know who he is?
Will she be in hospital for a long time?
Can you think of a reason why he is saying all this now? I mean, has something happened recently, like you got a new partner, or a new job, something thats made him jealous? If this is the case, hes likely to get bored soon and leave you alone.
I probably shouldnt suggest this, but I have an ex partner that I wouldnt want around my kids either so I can sympathise, but Could you move? Is it possible? Leave the area and leave no clues as to where you go? Its just a thought, although a lot of people may disagree, however I wouldnt want someone that beat me when I was pregnant round me or my lo either.
My first step would be maybe to get a good solicitor and read up on restraining orders. There are steps that police can take to prevent him leaving the country with your lo if that is a worry. Does he have parental responsibilty? Does your lo have his surname? Sorry, lots of questions for you, but iv done a lot of this before and want to help you. Feel free to pm me if you'd rather

pm'd you

 

[jamielou]

Hun, i'd be no good at this as never had anything like it but just wanted to offer a hug and support you can always pm me or vent in your journal but i'm sure he won't get anywhere with this hun. You are doing a fab job with Sophie xx

 

[scottishgal89]

Hun, i'd be no good at this as never had anything like it but just wanted to offer a hug and support you can always pm me or vent in your journal but i'm sure he won't get anywhere with this hun. You are doing a fab job with Sophie xx

thanks very much babe

 

[flubdub]

Has he threatened you with going for custody if you dont let him see her? That can be quite standard practice is some solicitor firms. Its just a scare tactic.
Out of interest, do you know where your nearest contact centre is? Should your lo come out of isolation anytime soon, the jusge is likely to order a contact centre. It will be the one nearest to you, not him. Does he drive? If he had to go there every fortnight, do you thing he'd get bored?

 

[scottishgal89]

Has he threatened you with going for custody if you dont let him see her? That can be quite standard practice is some solicitor firms. Its just a scare tactic.
Out of interest, do you know where your nearest contact centre is? Should your lo come out of isolation anytime soon, the jusge is likely to order a contact centre. It will be the one nearest to you, not him. Does he drive? If he had to go there every fortnight, do you thing he'd get bored?

nope he hasnt threatened to fight for custody- he wouldnt want it.
think theres a contact centre just up the town 10mins away.
he was banned from driving, that was lifted recently and hes learning again.
funny how he can afford that but not to help support his daughter eh?!

 

[AppleBlossom]

My ex is threatening me with court because he wants to have Grace overnight at the weekends so basically, he wants her all weekend every weekend. A lot of the things in that list apply to him. He menatlly abused me when I was preg/after I had Grace and sometimes physically, he of course denies it all, he wouldn't have a clue how to look after Grace for more than a few hours as when we were together he refused to bath her, change her nappy, feed her, get up inthe night etc, he actually refuses to bath her and get her ready for bed now before he brings her home (he has her one day at the weekend) and his family set up is very odd. Example his mum is best friends with his step mum aka the woman her husband had an affair with :/

Anyway, rambling lol I would strongly reccommend you go and see a solicitor. Google 'legal aid solicitor' if you are on income support and you get free legal advice. Basically they cannot stop FOB taking you to court. But court is very very expensive which is why you need to see if you are entitled to legal aid (which I assume you would be if you are a single mum) They give you a 'mediation' type thing first so they try and settle an agreement of some sort just with the parents. If they can't do that they will take it further but with cases involving children they will try not to go that far. They will check things like his background, living situations etc and if he is on the birth certificate (if he is he DOES have a right to see her under certain circumstances, even if supervised) but, if he is anything like my ex, he will have it in his head that he has every right to just come and do whatever they want with their children which is absolutely not true. My ex wrote to my solicitor saying that he knew that he could have Grace overnight whether I said so or not. And my solicitor actually laughed!

If your ex is able to afford court one way or another he will most likely take you. But to be honest with everything you have said about him and with Sophie being ill you really don't have anything to worry about. Just be prepared for him telling barefaced lies to a judge in order to get his own way and make sure you tell nothing but the truth because even if you just exaggerate it could come back and bite you on the arse! Good luck!

 

[scottishgal89]

My ex is threatening me with court because he wants to have Grace overnight at the weekends so basically, he wants her all weekend every weekend. A lot of the things in that list apply to him. He menatlly abused me when I was preg/after I had Grace and sometimes physically, he of course denies it all, he wouldn't have a clue how to look after Grace for more than a few hours as when we were together he refused to bath her, change her nappy, feed her, get up inthe night etc, he actually refuses to bath her and get her ready for bed now before he brings her home (he has her one day at the weekend) and his family set up is very odd. Example his mum is best friends with his step mum aka the woman her husband had an affair with :/

Anyway, rambling lol I would strongly reccommend you go and see a solicitor. Google 'legal aid solicitor' if you are on income support and you get free legal advice. Basically they cannot stop FOB taking you to court. But court is very very expensive which is why you need to see if you are entitled to legal aid (which I assume you would be if you are a single mum) They give you a 'mediation' type thing first so they try and settle an agreement of some sort just with the parents. If they can't do that they will take it further but with cases involving children they will try not to go that far. They will check things like his background, living situations etc and if he is on the birth certificate (if he is he DOES have a right to see her under certain circumstances, even if supervised) but, if he is anything like my ex, he will have it in his head that he has every right to just come and do whatever they want with their children which is absolutely not true. My ex wrote to my solicitor saying that he knew that he could have Grace overnight whether I said so or not. And my solicitor actually laughed!

If your ex is able to afford court one way or another he will most likely take you. But to be honest with everything you have said about him and with Sophie being ill you really don't have anything to worry about. Just be prepared for him telling barefaced lies to a judge in order to get his own way and make sure you tell nothing but the truth because even if you just exaggerate it could come back and bite you on the arse! Good luck!

thanks very much for your reply and sorry your going threw this too
i already have a solicitor and me and fob both can apply for legal aid so to be honest i dont think theres a reason for him not to take me to court.
i hope everything works out with u, cant believe hes trying to get lo all weekend every weekend. totally selfish. men eh?!