Your Partner - Durring Labour & Delivery

[Mango]

For those ladies who have been through the birth experience already, did your partner play much of a role in your labour/birth. I'm just wondering what to expect really, if their presence helped much, if there was anything they did specifically that really helped you etc. I'm trying to convince my OH that labour/birth is not a situation where he basically just waits and that he too has an active role, apart from saying "it'll be ok" cause those words will going one ear and out the window anyway....any ideas or am I not being realistic ?

 

[snugglemuffin]

My sons father was there when he was born we weren't together but he came. He was awesome to. Baby got stuck to and he ended up actually helping deliver him as the Dr was super busy The reassurance and calming influence he had was fantastic he talked me down when i panicked let me know he was there and just talked to me. It was his first child as well and i know i wouldn't have been able to do it alone. He told me to push and reminded me why i was doing it when i was exhausted and out of drugs. He then went on to take care of josh for the first two hours after he was born so i could be *repaired* and shower and Joshua was extremely upset as his shoulder was black and blue from his delivery. This helped me so much and i will always be grateful. He cant do it for you but he can make sure you don't give up

 

[xxleannexx]

yeh my babies father is going to be there altho we are not together, so im having my mom there too, im going to need both of there encouragments!

 

[Jules]

I have visions of my OH "your hairs all sweaty", "your make ups all over" LOL

I am sure my OH will know what to do once its time, he doesn't like seeing me in pain but he thinks i am a wuss sometimes too, so he will be encouraging me to push more etc

He did think however that at sometime during the labour he would be able to go home for a nights kip! not a chance i've told him, whilst ever i am up and awake so is he!

 

[goldlion]

On many birthing shows I've seen men have a bit of an active role when it comes to the labour and delivery process.

One of them is to hold up your leg/foot as you won't be focused on keeping them up at the time and allowing you to push better. Another is just plain reassurance, letting you know you'll be alright, taking a wet cloth to your head.

Sometimes it seems like the women's partners are the only thing keeping them any sort of "calm" throughout the process.

I'm sure if your DH wants to he'll be able to sneak a peak every now and again to see how the baby is progressing, many men get quite excited when they're able to see the baby at last.

You can have him do you count for you (1,2,3...etc) and encourage you to continue pushing, no matter how much it hurts.

And lastly, he gets to cut the cord! Though their role obviously isn't as active as ours, it's still necessary we need them!

And because you are doing it naturally like myself, having that little extra reassurance will mean the world I think.

 

[reallytinyamy]

Can't be any worse than my own dad who fainted when I was born, missed my sister as he had to watch the end of match of the day!

 

[CK Too]

Can't be any worse than my own dad who fainted when I was born, missed my sister as he had to watch the end of match of the day!

Thats the reason I´ve been taking my DH along to ALL my appointments, so he gets used to the idea of seeing me in a chair legs akimbo, scan machines, blood and the smell of Doctors waiting rooms and hospitals!!! He is terrible, he only has to step foot in a hospital and he starts to get all hot and feels sick, he´s a nightmare!!!

I´ve decided I´d quite like a water birth, so he can get in the pool and sit behind me and support me - and with each contraction I can pull all the hairs on his legs to let him share my pain!!!!!!!

 

[Jules]

Hahaha

when my OH was in hospital one time, the nurse had to ring me to come and calm him down as he was trying to do a runner from the hospital! he hates them, the smell, sharing wards, thinks he's going to get ill from being in them!

 

[Jenny]

My DH didn't take an "active role" I would say in the birth of my son, he couldn't really do anything as it was preterm labor and it was all panicky etc. But just having him there was a HUGE deal. I swear if he wasen't there I might have gone insane with worry. Just having his presence there was a wonderful thing for me.

Can't be any worse than my own dad who fainted when I was born, missed my sister as he had to watch the end of match of the day!

 

[Hels]

My Dh was really active in my birth plan and with me 100% of the way during labour and birth.
With each contraction I had my arms around his neck and leant against him........4 months later he had a discectomy, he still blames me LOL!

 

[anita665]

I was really worried about my OH seeing all that goes on during child birth and to be honest I'm still a little concerned about him being at the business end. I really want him there though because I can't imagine going through something like that without his support. I've found my feelings on the issue have changed loads to what they were only 2 or 3 months ago.

 

[Tilly]

It makes me laugh when you see people on TV "giving birth" - no wonder we get scared. All that screaming, crazy sweating and ugly face pulling, although I probably did a lot of the latter lol.

My boyfriend was amazing, I was living with my mum at the time and he was at work. I text him at 8am and said I thought this was it! and his mum drove him down to us straight away. It was so cute as I was having a very bad contraction as he walked in, so I could see the look of fear on his face and he was cuddling and telling me I could squeeze his hand if I needed (I didn't need to aww) but I made up for it later when I was biting his shoulders!

After that he took over, let me lean on him as I couldn't sit or lay down, let me bite him. He was really good for the emotional and physical support and at one point he went to the loo whilst I was in labour and I panicked and couldn't carry on almost until he got back - not easy when you're getting the urge to push! he gave me back massages, lots of nice encouragement. I had my mum in the room too, all girls need their mum I think as it really helped to know she had been through it before. I could see the concern in her eyes, she was excellent too!! all the support you can get, them being there is enough but anything else is great.

Sorry I waffled a bit, I get carried away!

 

[Wobbles]

Well I shat myself when I heard the woman next door to me - Whoever was next door to me probably wanted to run Nah I had a bit of a bad ish end though.

I don't remember much but from when things started to the end my OH was great just being there helped, holding my hand, urging me to push (I didnt know my contractions had stopped) - just knowing he was there really helped. They will go with the flow when it happens so don't worry! OH said it wasn't as bad as he thought.

 

[Tilly]

lmao you just reminded me.. I was left in corridoor because they had no rooms for a few hours and I was panicking/crying as it was because I thought she was going to pop out in front of everyone, then they took me to the posh birthing bit and the first thing I heard was like "arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" and I shat myself too lol (not literally).

 

[ablaze]

my sister was a better birthing partner than darren, he was just kinda there... but she was the one encouraging me to push etc

 

[Linzi]

The plan is to have my OH there when baby is born but I can't see it happening since he passed out when the doctor took blood from my hand last time.

So I think Im going to be on my own. Great.

xxx

 

[ablaze]

linzi, do u not have a sister close friend who cud go in too

 

[RachieH]

Mine just kept the hell outta my way! - That was the best thing he could have done - I have to be pretty much left to it when I'm in pain. Even the midwife was pissing me off, I wanted her to stop encouraging me because her breath stank....I was feeling that evil with the pain I kept thinking how close my foot was to her head! lol
-With Ky Paul just fetched me ice chips and water (and watched a blood football match on the TV) .....Then when Ky was being delivered I had him in a headlock so he couldn't see the business area.

With Frankie she was born that fast he nearly missed her arrival as he was in the hospital carpark looking for my notes and I was just being wheeled in a room out of the ambulance.....So on the whole he didn't have a particularly active role!

 

[BurtonBaby]

I'm hoping that DH will be alright, and supportive. He will probably be nervous, but when I was taken to L&D at 23 weeks, he was great. He held my hand through everything, and made me feel a lot better.

Even though he is very supportive, I'm having my mom and sister in the room with me, since besides DH, they are my best friends. I just hope I'll manage and not be too mean to my support team haha.

 

[Tam]

Infact those words may not go in one ear and out the other, reassurance is a great tool they can offer at a time when you are so wrapped up in what you are meant to be doing, but not really knowing what is going on.

My OH held my hand, he asked questions about things to the MW & Consultant, he demanded things if I was in no state to but had asked for it. He rubbed my back, he cuddled me when I was able to stand, he just comforted me all the way thru - that was until I had an epidural and he fell asleep

But seriously, when things then started to go wrong he was there and making sure nothing was going to happen without us knowing about it and him being there with me (as I was shit scared!). It is amazing how much them just being there and doing their best for you, is a comfort. He was great, infact he can be at the next one

I had Mum & sister with my 1st & my sister with me again for the second! x