Your plan on sex after baby?

[LadySlipper]

I honestly don't know how you ladies can even think of sex! Lol! Oh course, I've not been very active in the sex department for years. I just can't get into it. I feel I'm the only one. And anything we do is usually out of pity cause I know its not fair to my husband. I think I will wait as long as possible. I just haven't enjoyed sex in years.

Don't feel bad you are not alone in this. Though I will say that sex got more enjoyable after having DS. Before it always seemed to hurt. I think either I was too tense or too tight.
But even still we waited a long time after having him as my sex drive was very low. It was the last thing on my mind (poor DH). Well he didn't want any milk leakage to ruin the mood (grossed him out). Which definitely would have happened while breastfeeding. I would think of trying but lose interest before going through with it. Darn hormones. This time I don't know how long we will wait. Probably a few months at least and also will be planning long term birth control this time too. It has been on my mind more this time around. But the milk issue will still stop it I know. Besides I might be more meh again when it comes to trying. My mind becomes absorbed with baby thoughts and this time added will be toddler thoughts.

 

[RaspberryK]

Lady slipper surely you can just wear a bra and breastpads? That's what I did for a year ... But dh really didn't mind the leakage anyway.
Xx

 

[LadySlipper]

Lady slipper surely you can just wear a bra and breastpads? That's what I did for a year ... But dh really didn't mind the leakage anyway.
Xx

I thought of that but he is a big time breast playing man, much to my enjoyment. Things may get going earlier this go round. Maybe it won't bother him as much. It was new and weirded him out last time. We shall see.

 

[RaspberryK]

My mans a boob man too and it didn't hamper either of our enjoyment despite being a prolific leaker. Fingers crossed for you this time.
Xx

 

[Mrs Dragonfly]

Oh goodness, I didn't even think about the leakage I'll probably do the bra and breast pads as well.

 

[mummy_vic]

I waited until between 5-6 weeks with my DD's as that's when my bleeding finally stopped completely. I was recommended to try it before my 6 week check so that if there were any issues I could bring it up then. There weren't and I felt ready by this point. Will probably do the same again this time but we'll see.

 

[Selaphyna]

we are trying to wait until my 6 week postpartum check up on the 9th, only because of contraceptive reasons (can't use condoms due to allergies). We probably could have dtd a few days after lo's birth, as I had no tear/stitches, and recovery was very quick. The only thing I would wait on is lochia to die down, which it seems it finally did so the last day or two. Though, I'm not sure how much I'm in the mood for (tired more than anything), OH on the other hand is ready to go (haven't dtd since about 28 weeks pg).

 

[misscyn]

ASSUMING everything works out fine, there's no complications and so forth, I'm thinking the longest I can wait to have sex after baby is two weeks.

What is your plan? Do you plan to take the full 6 weeks or are you going to cheat like me?

(Already discussed this with midwives, she has given me the thumbs up ASSUMING everything goes fine in labor and post checkup)

This must be your first baby Honestly though, everyone is different, but between the constant bleeding, the labial tears and stitches, the sleepless nights and the fact that my breasts were constantly squirting out massive amounts of milk, I had no time or desire for sex for a couple of months. At 2 weeks post delivery I actually went to a clinic because I didn't think the amount of vaginal and rectal pain I felt was normal. But hey, I hope you get to stick to your plan!

 

[Gingerspice]

Can't remember when but i had ventouse, episiotomy and I like boob activity and when feeding they didn't feel right for sex, they weren't for me but for baby so was a complete turn off. Must have been past 6 week check up. I was bleading for weeks too and definitely waited until the bleeding stopped.

 

[emeeorevan]

I honestly don't know how you ladies can even think of sex! Lol! Oh course, I've not been very active in the sex department for years. I just can't get into it. I feel I'm the only one. And anything we do is usually out of pity cause I know its not fair to my husband. I think I will wait as long as possible. I just haven't enjoyed sex in years.

I go through phases like that and certain parts of pregnancy and definitely breastfeeding altered my hormones so I didn't feel like it, plus exhaustion etc can get in the way...
But it can be rekindled if you both try, ok long term it probably isn't going to be like the first year or two, but honestly the more sex you have the more you want to have.
xx

Yep this is so true!

You could try doing new things too to spice it up a bit, you might enjoy it the more you do it though the more you'll actually WANT to do it

thanks ladies, but its been like this for a while. Honestly don't know how we got pregnant ( must have been just the right time) as I can actually count the # of times we dtd each month on one hand!(and usually give you the exact dates too) It really has been years since I enjoyed sex except for a brief stent in 2nd tri.
according to dh "we" don't have a problem. His part is great for him. I'm the one who doesn't want anything and is not turned on by anything. (tmi, but I can count the # of 'O's I've had over the last three years on one hand (not counting the second tri rekindling)! I thought it was normal as we both work full time, coach, have a 12&7 year old, and now #3 on the way. To be truthful our first year or two wasn't that great either. I had ds#1 before we were married and dh adopted him so we jumped straight into a full family without the usual year or two to our selves. I'd like to think that our relationship is stronger because we didn't base it on sex but rather on a great friendship.

 

[KrissyKris22]

Honestly I'm thinking of waiting the whole six weeks ir maybe even 8 weeks. I just wanna be fully healed and feel completely back to myself again lol. I'm sure it'll be tempting but I remember with my first Ds I was sooo exhausted and my body felt off balance. So I wont be in no rush to have sex.

 

[cflower04]

I waited 11 weeks (bleeding lasted 7 weeks) and even then I was still tender from all the stitches! The second time was much better at 12 weeks postpartum! I also leaked all over my partner the first time but it's been fine since! I think you just need to laugh about all these things....

 

[RaspberryK]

I honestly don't know how you ladies can even think of sex! Lol! Oh course, I've not been very active in the sex department for years. I just can't get into it. I feel I'm the only one. And anything we do is usually out of pity cause I know its not fair to my husband. I think I will wait as long as possible. I just haven't enjoyed sex in years.

I go through phases like that and certain parts of pregnancy and definitely breastfeeding altered my hormones so I didn't feel like it, plus exhaustion etc can get in the way...
But it can be rekindled if you both try, ok long term it probably isn't going to be like the first year or two, but honestly the more sex you have the more you want to have.
xx

Yep this is so true!

You could try doing new things too to spice it up a bit, you might enjoy it the more you do it though the more you'll actually WANT to do it

thanks ladies, but its been like this for a while. Honestly don't know how we got pregnant ( must have been just the right time) as I can actually count the # of times we dtd each month on one hand!(and usually give you the exact dates too) It really has been years since I enjoyed sex except for a brief stent in 2nd tri.
according to dh "we" don't have a problem. His part is great for him. I'm the one who doesn't want anything and is not turned on by anything. (tmi, but I can count the # of 'O's I've had over the last three years on one hand (not counting the second tri rekindling)! I thought it was normal as we both work full time, coach, have a 12&7 year old, and now #3 on the way. To be truthful our first year or two wasn't that great either. I had ds#1 before we were married and dh adopted him so we jumped straight into a full family without the usual year or two to our selves. I'd like to think that our relationship is stronger because we didn't base it on sex but rather on a great friendship.

We have often been able to count only once or twice in the month, the pregnancy that I lost in feb was conceived by only dtd once in the whole of December and this one wasn't much better.

If you are both happy then it isn't a problem.

Xx

 

[vickyandchick]

My son is 6 1/2 weeks old and even though I've wanted to since about 1-2 weeks pp I am in no way ready. I had a 2nd degree tear and a labial laceration cry and I'm too scared for him to go anywhere near me! I'm going to try having a few drinks first and then see how I feel!

 

[FlatShoes]

I wasn't told to wait - we did it after a week.

Mind you, with 2 I'm not sure we will find the time so easily this time round

 

[swanxxsong]

We waited the full 6 with my DD, but my bleeding was pretty heavy with her and lasted awhile and emotionally, I wasn't ready. He was thankfully very understanding.

This time, it's difficult because I have been wanting sex for weeks but am on pelvic rest until 36 weeks... Driving me nuts! So I'm wondering if after delivery I'll still be craving sex like a madwoman, or if I'll be emotional like I was with my first. LOL.

 

[miraclemomma]

I honestly didn't know about the waiting 6 weeks thing last time, and think we had sex 5 days after...slightly sore at first but not bad. Xx

 

[Dolly84]

With ds I had a 2nd degree tear and we tried at 12 weeks pp, but was too sore so tried again a couple of weeks later and it was much better 😊 ive already warned dh that it could be a 14 week wait again 😂😂😂

 

[bungle]

I take the fact that they give you a 6 week window before you have sex/do exercise as a blessing! It's a window of time that I know I won't be pestered!! It'll be the last thing on my mind that's for sure but like another lady has posted sex really isn't that big a deal for me. Think I'll be kept pretty busy looking after 3 children under 5! Lol

 

[mummytobe_93]

Is it your first baby? Honestly two weeks post partum you'll still be bleeding pretty heavily. I bled for about six weeks in total.

I think we tried for the first time when baby was six months, baring in mind I had no stitches, no grazes or anything and it still hurt like hell. It hurt until probably 4 months afterwards and wasn't enjoyable. You've just pushed a baby out of your vagina and it takes a while to go back to its original size and the inside to stop feeling so bruised etc.

Not forgetting how tired you are etc. This time I think we will probably try again after 6-8 weeks if I don't tear again that is. If I do we will probably wait longer x