Your Top Pregnancy Fears?!

mummy_blues

Us n our identical BOYS!
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I am worried sick about my little precious beany 24 hours a day.
I pray for my precious baby before I go to bed at night and I praise the Lord and thank Him every minute when I wake up, when I go to the loo when I have my lunch for blessing me through another day and that precious is with me for another day.... I would do ANYTHING in the world to make sure he/she is safe and sound....

I found this interesting list about the Top 10 Pregnancy fears, and I have to admit, I am afraid of 5 things out of that 10 things esp the Squashing & losing the baby part :cry: :cry: :cry:

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Between all the stress of planning, the crazy new body changes, and the laundry list of dos and don’ts that come along with pregnancy, it’s no wonder why having a baby can bring along a ton of new worries. But while some fears may be totally warranted, let’s be honest; we’re all probably guilty of letting at least a few irrational ones freak us out more than they should. Read on as real mamas (and some of our favorite bloggers) spill their biggest pregnancy fears -- and we weigh in on just how likely they really are, after all.

1. Laying on my belly (and squashing baby)
Real mom fear: "I was always afraid I was going to somehow roll onto my stomach while I was sleeping and crush the baby! It makes me laugh now - it was almost impossible for me to move, I was so big; so the idea of rolling onto my stomach while I slept is pretty hilarious." -- Heather of The Spohrs Are Multiplying
Reality check: Boy do we hear this one a lot. And it makes sense – with all that’s going on in there, it's easy to wonder how baby will be protected if you accidentally roll onto your belly in the night. But the truth is, you can relax – your body was made to make plenty of room for baby in there. And according to New York OBGYN Dr. Ashley Roman, in the early stages of pregnancy, it’s perfectly safe to sleep on your stomach. Once your belly does start to grow, though, it won’t be comfy (or even possible) to lay for long periods on your stomach anyway; so you'll probably change positions on your own in your sleep long before you could do any harm to baby.

2. My face changing
Real mom fear: "My number one fear was that my nose would spread. What I mean is, I remember an older friend that got pregnant while I was in college, and her nose nearly doubled in size. It grew in width and depth. As her pregnancy progressed her nose seemed to swell in proportion to her belly!" -- Jolawn of Spelhouse Love
Reality check: Okay, yes, this one's true. (Well... sorta.) During pregnancy, Dr. Roman admits that some women do seem to notice significant facial changes. But a lot of this has to do with the weight gain, water retention, and hormonal shifts that are going on in your bod. The good news is though, they should subside after delivery once the hormones calm down, or as soon as you shed the baby weight. But even in cases where people claim the changes don’t subside, they aren't usually that dramatic. So if you're freaking out that you’ll one day look in the mirror and find a different person staring back, don’t. It's most likely all in your head.

3. Eating something that would harm baby
Real mom fear: "I was worried I’d inadvertently eat something or do something that would harm the baby. I was constantly reading pregnancy books and checking labels to make sure I wasn’t eating natural cheese or nitrates or consuming too much caffeine. I lived much of the pregnancy in fear and I attribute that to over researching everything. I Googled every symptom and twitch and had my doctor’s office on speed dial." – Shannon of Potamus Prefers
Reality check: With all the “eat this, not that” advice you get during pregnancy, it's easy to sometimes over-obsess about every little thing you come into contact with. But aside from the biggies like raw meat, seafood, unpasteurized milk or cheese, and of course booze, there aren’t too many things that are way off-limits. Even caffeine – commonly touted as unsafe during pregnancy – is still allowed in moderate doses. So don’t stress too much about food dos and don’ts. As long as you keep a generally balanced and healthy diet, and are aware of what's in your food before eating, baby should be A-okay.

4. Losing the baby
Real mom fear: "My biggest fear was miscarriage. And it was a choking, constant fear -- because at the end of the day, there was nothing I could do past eating healthy and resting to keep my baby safe and healthy. Every moment that I stayed pregnant, I felt like getting on my knees and kissing everyone in thanks." -- Beth Anne of The Heir to Blair
Reality check: It can definitely be hard to get over those all-too-real fears of losing baby. And when it comes to the possibility of pregnancy loss, your fears are definitely warranted. But it’s also important not to let these fears rule all of your thoughts – and to know the stats. Most miscarriages happen within the first trimester and occur within about 15-25 percent of all pregnancies; but from about twelve weeks onward, Dr. Roman assures that the risk is dramatically reduced. So if you’ve made it past the 14 week mark, your risk of miscarrying is actually somewhere around one percent.

5. Baby will be deformed
Real mom fear: "During my first pregnancy I was afraid of everything and my biggest fear was that I would have a hermaphrodite baby. I saw this program on the Discovery Channel about kids who were born with both male and female genitalia and for the rest of my pregnancy I was like 'I'm definitely going to have a hermaphrodite baby.'" – Heather Armstrong of Dooce
Reality check: Luckily, the odds are on your side on this one. Hermaphrodites (or intersex babies, as they’re now called) make up a measly one percent of all live births. As for the chance that baby will be born with other physical deformities, recent stats say only three percent of all babies born in the U.S. wind up with significant physical birth defects each year (though this number reflects a very wide range of defects, big and small). While the rates are pretty slim, it's definitely still possible. But until you know for sure, try to curb some of your anxiety. (And lay off any documentaries on delivery mishaps, pregnancy phenomenons, or any other crazy-making programs that may lead you to freak out -- it won't do you or baby any good to worry.)

6. That the baby weight will never. Go. Away.
Real mom fear: "Should I admit this? My biggest fear with my pregnancies has been that I was going to gain 50 pounds and hang onto half of it for the rest of my life. When the second trimester hit during my first pregnancy, I was as hungry as a horse and it seemed like everything I ate stayed right on me. It felt like if I ate a carrot, I'd gain a pound. The numbers I saw on the scales scared me to no end." – Crystal of Money Saving Mom
Reality check: Sure, maybe not everything will look exactly how it used to after you give birth (unless you’re Gisele); but you can't psyche yourself out about losing the baby weight before baby even arrives! You’ve probably heard this one a million times, but it bears repeating: If it took nine months to put the weight on you can’t expect it to disappear overnight. Make that your mantra. Plus, remember that everyone loses weight at different paces, so resist the urge to compare yourself to other mamas who are jumping back into their skinny jeans right away. And whatever you do, definitely don’t compare yourself to all those celeb mamas who seem to regain their beach bodies five seconds after being wheeled out of delivery.

7. My water breaking in public
Real mom fear: "I was afraid to go anywhere for fear the dam would break. What in the world would I do if I was driving, grocery shopping, or eating at a restaurant and my water broke? How could I explain the wet seat or my wet pants? And would I be able to run fast enough out of wherever I was before anyone noticed? These concerns kept me home-bound." – Erica of Sweet Leigh Mama
Reality check: Okay, this one could definitely happen. (Sorry.) While your water could break at any time, it’s usually preceded by some warning contractions, which will give you a heads-up that baby’s almost ready. And even if it comes with no warning, there probably won’t be as much fluid as you think. Some women say it’s only a trickle, though there are many women who remember it as a "gush." But hey, either way, YOU’RE NINE MONTHS PREGNANT! It’s not like you don’t have a good excuse for why your pants may be inexplicably wet.

8. Going into preterm labor
Real mom fear: "I was so afraid I was going to have my twins prematurely. At first I thought I was being paranoid, but I actually did end up almost losing my twins around 21 weeks. I required an emergency cerclage for a shortened cervix, and my water around Baby A was punctured. I spent five months on bed rest before delivering healthy, albeit small, twin girls at almost 37 weeks." – Jennifer of The Foster Family
Reality check: According to Dr. Roman, preterm labor does affect about 12 percent of all pregnancies in the U.S., but most of these cases pertain to moms who are already at risk of it and have been forewarned by their docs. This happens mostly in cases where there’s a history of preterm birth, the pregnancy is with multiples, or Mom's uterus isn't fully formed. But even so, there are many moms who do actually deliver preterm without any warning or any of these symptoms. So if you’ve been nervous your water will break early, don’t worry – you’re not completely crazy. Just calm yourself with the realization that the odds of this happening are actually pretty small and keep in constant contact with your doc if you're high-risk.

9. Peeing my pants in public
Real mom fear: "All I can say is hello, incontinence! Every time I would laugh, sneeze, cough --or God forbid do any of the above while walking or moving around -- my bladder would let me down. I wore very long shirts in case it ever soaked though." – Erica of Sweet Leigh Mama
Reality check: Yep, we’re not going to lie here, it's pretty much a given that you’ll have a few leakage scenarios at some point during your pregnancy. When you’re creeping into the latter stages of pregnancy, sudden laughter, sneezing, or coughing are basically sure-fire ways to bring on a little surprise dribble or two. But will it turn into a full-on pants-wetting situation? Probably not. A little snissing here and there happens. And hey, that’s why they invented panty liners. So our advice: Stock up and learn to laugh about it.

10. Being able to care for a newborn
Real mom fear: "I worried that I wouldn't be able to take care of a baby. I'd never even changed a diaper before my daughter was born!" – Suzanne (Duff), from My Mom Genes
Reality check: The good news is, while the newborn stage is definitely hectic and exhausting at times, it probably won’t take you long to realize that just like pregnancy, you can survive this too. Looking back, even Duff admits that as soon as she brought her baby home, she figured it all out pretty fast, despite it being "a comedy of errors" at first. So even if you've never laid eyes on a diaper, haven't a clue about swaddling, or aren’t yet adept at snapping a squealing baby into a onesie, don't worry – it’s not rocket science. You'll get there soon enough.
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Share you pregnancy fears with us and hope we can help and support each other to make it through the pregnancy :hugs::hugs:
 
1. loosing the baby very very top of the list ( I love that you are praying for your beany I do too I owe god so much since he gave me this little bundle of joy

2. throwing up:- I have a phobia called emetephonia which is basically a fear of throwing up,seeing someone throw up, hearing someone throw up, hearing someone talk about vomit I havent thrown up since I was 8 years old so hopeful that I may just get nausea and not the throwing up part

3. baby has down syndrome or other psychical/mental problems I dont know how arrogant this may come across to some people reading this but I really dont want my child to have these ( not like anyone actually wishes them upon their baby )

hmmm I think I can say thats it really I only have 3 fears
 
my fear is going 4 scan an nothing there!
i fear i will be sick i cant look after my other kids!
 
1. Going into labour before my schedualed c-section. Last birth was so terrible and I really want it to be planned this time

2. This baby having the same issues my son has...or totally different issues making our life harder and our dream of having one average normal child go away
 
My top fear is miscarriage again. Like yourself I pray everyday and im thankful for each day I go without seeing blood in my knickers.

Other then that Im not really that worried but I dont know how i would feel if pregnancy went okay and was told there would be an abnormality with baby.
 
1) Miscarriage
2) Not being able to get the baby out
3) Having a C-section

:wacko:
 
I have a million!!!! Too many to list :haha: but I know its all totally normal. Just trying to go with the flow :)
 
Wow, I am not alone... I am really scared of miscarriages as well and I think I will surely faint if i ever see a drop of blood in my knickers... but I guess everything is in God's Hand and Will. Believe, have faith and trust in Him and Pray for little one's blessing and protection.
 
1. Going into labour before my schedualed c-section. Last birth was so terrible and I really want it to be planned this time

2. This baby having the same issues my son has...or totally different issues making our life harder and our dream of having one average normal child go away

Hi Happyhayley, is giving birth really that painful??
I just bought a massive encyclopedia about pregnancy and birth and they've listed a whole lot of medications and electric devices to help women with the pain....
what issues does your son have? My mum had her third child at 20 weeks and the child only survived a few hours before passing away, so I am also terrified of a stillbirth at that late stage :cry: :cry: :cry:
 
1) having a missed miscarriage again; thinking everything is fine and then finding out weeks later my baby died weeks ago is not something I ever want to repeat

2)having an ectopic pregnancy

3)having gestational diabetes and having to inject myself I have a needle phobia so the thought of this really worries me. However no-one in my family has ever had diabetes gestational or otherwise and they are all on the large size so I'm hoping it won't happen

4)having to have a c-section, I'm terrified of surgery and a needle stuck in my back doesn't appeal either (I have a needle phobia)

5) having another precipitous labour and not getting access to gas and air in time again, giving birth before the midwives get to me or in the car or hospital car park or anywhere else public my labours have halved everytime so this one will by my estimation take 45 minutes....

mummy_blues everyone has a different pain threshold I suppose; but I believe we were designed to give birth and the more anxious and tense you are the more painful it will be. No pain relief method in labour is 100% foolproof and those that do block the pain completely can have side effects or lead to intervention; but its just finding out what works for you at the time and weighing up the risks. Its a shame that in the US and much of canada something called gas and air (nitrous oxide) isn't available; because many women find that more than ample and it has no side effects whatsoever nor does it lead to a higher rate of intervention.
 
You dont get gas and air in the US and Canada!? WOW :shock: x
 
1. Staying in hospital - I hate hospitals with a passion and get worked up just driving past them!

2. Miscarrying

3. Pebble coming 5 weeks early on my 21st

4. Warren not being there to see pebble born

5. Having to have a c-section
 
Is a c-section really that bad??

My ex-lady boss, she makes C-section sounds really "fast and painless"! .. she would call the doctor up on a weekend where she had the least conference calls and meetings; then arrange for a c-section that weekend to get the baby out; then come back to work in 2-3 weeks with bandage around the tummy and work 18 hours as usual.....
she tells me it doesn't hurt as much as normal delivery and she had 3 kids with C-section. And she tells me its the most effective way of delivery since she can get back to work as soon as possible?
 
I know I belong in 2nd Tri but I pop back and forth between the 2 as there are helpful relevant threads in both forums.

I suppose up until my 12 week scan I was most scared about getting to the scan and there being nothing there - that was definately my biggest fear.

I think closley behind that is finding out there is no heartbeat. This is my real concern at the moment - I really thought I would get to listen at my 16w mw appointment but she didn't even let me - so I will have to wait to see it on my 20w scan now :-(

Other than those 2 fears, i don't really think I have any others.
 
I am sorry I didnt mean to scare anyone. For me labour was the hardest thing I ever did. It was fast and hard and extreamly painful. It was 3 hours of excrusiatingness for me. I wanted an epidural but there was no time. I did get gas but for me anyways gas was like being drunk but still in pain. My son was born with cerebral palsy and I am terrified that our next child will be the same although i have been assured it is not genetic

I am going for a schedualed c-section this time. I am not afraid. I am glad that they will know i'm coming and that I will have an epidural. Everyone I talked to who has done it both ways said although c-section is a longer healing process then a regualr vaginal birth. If you have a lot of tearing and scaring like I did its actually a shorter healing process and much easier
 
mummy_blues, I find your bosses story a bit sad to be honest; why would she feel such pressure to return to work pretty much immediately (at least working from home), I think thats another difference between here and the US I suppose.

A c-section is major surgery and there are risks associated with it for both mother and child, societies (including 'safe' western societies) where there are a high rate of c-sections, also tend to have higher rates of infant and maternal mortality. The research now does indicate the two are linked and the WHO are urging governments to try and get the rates down. While its still relatively rare; babies born by c-section are more likely to have more breathing difficulties and apnoea; also some women who have c-sections develop scar tissue both in the womb and in other areas of the body, which if it really builds up and sticks together can be life threatening in future pregnancies. I have two friends who ended up in intensive care because of this. So in most cases the risks do outweigh the benefits; unless there are pressing medical reasons. I don't know anyone personally who has had a c-section who would support them being freely available on demand because the recovery can be considerably harder and the potential risks cannot be taken lightly.

I've had three children; the last two labours were precipitous (three hours or less); while everyone has a different pain threshold; the pain was excrutiating for me in the last two but over quickly and two days after I had my last baby it felt as though I had never given birth even though I did have a few stitches because he was born with both hands on his face. I'm not judging anyone and c-sections save a lot of lives, but women have given birth vaginally for millions of years with no problem and I cannot understand why anyone would balk at the idea of a vaginal birth as it threatens their convenience.

Gas and air doesn't 'kill' the pain and a lot of people expect this and then stop using it when it doesn't do that; however it does help to make it more distant from you so that it seems that it isn't happening to you; and yes it does make you feel drunk. It does take a while to kick in but can really be effective. I didn't have it with my youngest thanks to a cock-up by one of the midwife's colleague not putting the mouthpieces in the gas and air bag and the difference between that and my other labours was very noticeable.
 
Well...I guess I feel kinda told off for wanting a c-section now???

Thats great that you had great vaginal births but I didn't It was bad. there was a lot of blood and the baby was not healthy and he really needed to be in a c-section but was not taking that way as there was not time by the time the doctor got there.

I do not want to rip again as I have already been through reconstructive surgery just so we could be together agin to be able to convieve this baby.

I find the above post makes c-section a scarier thing for those who have to have one.

I do not want any trauma to happen to this baby. And going by my history I am not picking c section because it "threatens my convenience" I am doing whats right for me. It is not convenient for me to be in hospital longer then vaginal births are. Its not convient to have a big surgery scar.
 
Hun read my post; I was talking about the type of women mummy_blues were talking about; NOT cases like yours where there is a genuine medical emergency. However I'm sure you would agree that had your first labour gone well you would have prefered not to have ended up with a c-section then or again? My point was I don't know any ladies who had to have a c-section for medical reasons who would have chosen it for 'cosmetic' reasons (and for the last time I never suggested that was you; but clearly women such as in the case related by mummy_blues and the 'too posh to push' types you hear about...). In the US c-sections are portrayed as a lot more minor than they really are; and I was merely trying to explain why the ladies on here myself included would prefer not to have a c-section....my own sister had to have a c-section for medical reasons as her labour was not progressing; that does happen however I do believe the 25% rate (as high as 50% or even higher in some areas/hospitals in the US) is too high....for many women being more active in labour and being able to labour in a comfortable position and not being rushed in for a c-section because things are taking too long for the doctors convenience (not due them taking longer than is medically safe) this would avoid a c-section for them. I am not 'vaginal birth' or nothing however it is worrying that a c-section is being touted as a safer alternative in most or all cases and less painful and more convenient in a lot of circles now....
 
For me I don't want a c-section as its tied into my fear of hospitals and would mean I HAVE to stay in hospital.
 

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