Your used-to-be plans?

[Mummy2Angel.]

So after i reached 12 weeks i started making plans only for them to be destroyed a little over a week later

I think a hard part of loss, is that you lose those future plans as well so i wanted to share the things i had thought about / planned for my pregnancy/birth/baby, please share yours as well?

I planned to atend aqua-natal classes
I planned not to find out gender
I planned to not buy anything big until after 20 weeks
I planned to take my pregnancy in its stride, not get down over the backache and heart burn and try and enjoy it
I planned to have a home birth
I planned to breastfeed
I planned to buy an icandy pram as i totally fell in love with them
I planned to have the very hungry caterpillar nursery theme
I planned to go to baby and mother groups, and baby massage classes
I planned to use cloth diapers
I planned to try and never bring my baby into my bed
I planned to christen my baby
I planned go swimming with my baby to get him used to water early
I planned to give my baby homemade food.

All these things that you plan and dream off that are snatched away I wish i had the chance to do all of these with Max and i never will and that hurts a hell of a lot

 

[raisin]

I can't believe I'm actually writing this because I feel so stupid and embarrassed now thinking about how naive I was but I actually did 2 really stupid things:

1. I cancelled my current rental contract early and found a "baby suitable" home on the outskirts of the city with a gorgeous room for a nursery. Now I've paid a lot of £ and can't get out of the new contract so on the 16th of August I'm moving to a house with an an empty room which should have been the nursery

2. I signed up to Babies R Us reward card, which arrive in the post a few days after I mc

3. I created a gift list online from Babie R Us with a whole load of cute baby things for my little raisin

4. Invited my DH's family out for a meal for our wedding anniversary, which was last week, at which we were going to make the big happy announcement. My DH had even designed special mugs to give to the family with "unkle", "nan" etc written on them!

I'm sure there's more but I feel stupid enough posting just those 4 things.

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

1. I was going to breastfeed again and this time past a year
2. I bought CD and some outfits
3. I was going to get maternity photos for the 1st time
4. I was going to have a water birth (or try....)
5. I was going to have a 2ndVBA2C
6. I was going to believe everything was going to be ok.

 

[maaybe2010]

Writing this list has really got me thinking. . .

I wasn't naive at all, at least I don't think I was.
I knew things could happen and I knew they could happen to me but I'm so suprised at how much I had planned in my mind

I planned to have a water birth
I planned to breastfeed
I found the pram I wanted
I planned on finding out the gender which I don't think I will do again.
I planned to try and never bring my baby into my bed
I also created gift lists online
I planned to take baby swimming early too

*sigh*

 

[aviolet]

I can't believe I'm actually writing this because I feel so stupid and embarrassed now thinking about how naive I was but I actually did 2 really stupid things:

hun you aren't stupid or naive - you are human and you were excited for your new addition to your family.

this thread should be about healing... letting out the sadness you feel for not being able to fulfill these dreams, and the hopes of one day being able to when you have another lil baby. It sucks when we plan ahead too soon and have things we can't back out of or avoid because of our eagerness. But it doesn't make us wrong for having done them, as we did it with a good heart

I didn't do much, I was too scared to plan (as in shocked that I was pregnant to begin with)... but things I saw in my head that I'd do...

- play rock ballads and folk songs through headphones on my belly so she would grow up with the classics
- cradle her in a pretty bassinet by my bed
- tell her Bible stories
- take her to the park and play with her, especially on the swings
- buy or pass down my favorite books from childhood...
- play with her in the snow making snow angels (ironic, I know)
- give her lots of stuffed animals
- buy her cute frilly rocker girl clothing
- learn about her likes and dislikes and become almost a best friend to her when she grew up (like I did with my mom)

 

[irish_rose3]

(((((Hugs))))))

-I planned attending some free "classes" offered at the "Womens hope center" and rack up on baby things after completing the different courses (was a really neat offer to help you start out)...
-I wanted to breastfeed
-I resolved to enjoy all of my symptoms
-I wanted to sing to baby while he/she was growing in my belly
-I wanted to try water birth
-I wanted to have the healthiest pregnancy and me possible- eating right, cutting back on sugars, sodium, etc
-I vowed to protect my baby from everything! (and yet, I couldn't do anything...)

Now I only count how far along I would be every week.
July was a shitty month and I'm still reeling from it. Now I'm single again, jobless, and most of all, I feel empty from the loss of my angel.

 

[Kittique]

This is a good post...It helps to talk about these things.

From the beginning I just knew it was twins, I don't know how I knew but I did. I even priced up everything for two

I signed up to all mother and baby clubs like Tesco, Cow and gate, Babies R us, sainsburies and now i'm getting all the stuff in the post still

My boyfriend left uni and started looking for a job (thankfully he can go back to uni)

I told my university I was pregnant and they made arrangements for me...then I had to tell them i wasn't anymore

I was going to have a doula to help with my birth

I planned to take hypnobirthing classes

I researched the best maternity units nearby

I planned to breastfeed

I planned to take my baby swimming too from early age

I planned to keep the cot in my bedroom close by

I planned never to let anyone smoke anywhere nearby, even after smoking outside I planned I would not let anyone who smelt of smoke near my babies.

My boyfriend got a new car that was safer

 

[maaybe2010]

This is a good post...It helps to talk about these things.

From the beginning I just knew it was twins, I don't know how I knew but I did. I even priced up everything for two

I signed up to all mother and baby clubs like Tesco, Cow and gate, Babies R us, sainsburies and now i'm getting all the stuff in the post still

My boyfriend left uni and started looking for a job (thankfully he can go back to uni)

I told my university I was pregnant and they made arrangements for me...then I had to tell them i wasn't anymore

I was going to have a doula to help with my birth

I planned to take hypnobirthing classes

I researched the best maternity units nearby

I planned to breastfeed

I planned to take my baby swimming too from early age

I planned to keep the cot in my bedroom close by

I planned never to let anyone smoke anywhere nearby, even after smoking outside I planned I would not let anyone who smelt of smoke near my babies.

My boyfriend got a new car that was safer

Me too . . .
And email updates, that come straight through to my phone "Today you are 15weeks"

 

[lynnb]

Didn't realise that I'd planned so much until I started thinking about it

Enjoy every minute of being pregnant
Have series of photos of expanding belly & then family photos
Have my mother present for the scans & birth as well as my DH
Clean out spare room & make into nursery
Have home/water birth
Breastfeed
Use cloth nappies at much as possible
Buy M&P 8 in 1 travel system in Polka Dot
Take baby swimming from early age
Feed my baby homemade food
Have my baby christened

I too joined loads of mother & baby clubs, I'm keeping everything I get sent in a memory box.

 

[AngelStarLynn]

With my first pregnancy I had so many plans for my little one, but wasn't acting on them. I tried to keep that pregnancy a secret as much as possible, mainly since I was only 18. The only people that knew were my boyfriend at the time (not the father) and a select few of my firends that saw me everyday. When I found out that I was pregnant I broke up with the father because I was afraid that he would get mad and do something to harm me and/or the baby.

But the plans that I had made were:
I was going to breastfeed
I was taking birthing classes
I had made a baby blanket for the bassinet
I bought a car seat, crib, changing table, rocking chair
I had a baby snoopy and woodstock (from peanuts/charlie brown) theme for the nursery
I wasn't going to know the sex until the baby was born
I was going to take the baby swimming with me, and introduce it to water very early
I was going to invite my family over for a dinner and show/tell them that I was pregnant, and give them little gifts from the baby at 36 weeks
I was going to name the baby in honor of my mother, Sue,,(who passed away 7 years before I got pregnant) if it was a girl
My current boyfriend was willing to help raise the child as his own

But unfortunately on January 21, 2009 I went into premature labor at 34 weeks. Gave birth to a little girl and named her Angelina Sue. The doctors were telling me that with how well she did after she was born that there was a very good chance that she would live. But she passed away in my arms 38 hours later. I was devistated. Luckily one of my friends just had a baby, and needed a lot of stuff yet. So I gave her all of the baby stuff that I had.

A few months later (July 2009) I found out that I was pregnant again, and was 18 weeks along. I didn't want to plan much until I got closer to a due date. I was extremely stressed from moving to a new apartment and was not doing well health wise. But most I kept most of the plans that I originally had, like breastfeeding and introducing to water early. Went in to the doctor to have an ultrasound done at 22 weeks. That's when everything started going downhill. They couldn't find a heartbeat and the baby wasn't moving. They admitted me into the hospital and miscarried. It was a boy and we named him Dante Alexander.

Since then I have had 2 more miscarriages very early on in the pregnancy, and an etopic pregnancy. Now I am seeing a doctor to figure out why I have been having so many problems, and try being put on a birth control that doesn't make me sick. Main reason why I wasn't on any was because of the pills I was on cause gall bladder disease and other complications. So hopefully the next time I get pregnant everything goes smoothly.

 

[humblebum]

This is a great post and such a good idea to share what we'd planned.

I had already thought through some names and we'd called it Horace as a bump name
I had already been thinking about which pram I wanted
I had been thinking how my DS would be such a fab big brother
I had been thinking about how we could announce it with a scan picture

 

[sarahjane10]

hey

I was thinking of names
i use to go in the spare room and think where i would put things!!
I was looking through baby books

xxxx

 

[annmc30]

i lost my baby at 16wks
id bought baby clothes, sterilizer and breast pump, maternity tankini
id joined every baby club
picked names
booked a family holiday next year