Zero self-confidence :(

[ctimi16]

Today is just one of those days for me. I finally decided to go out and do something so I joined a book club. The first person to introduce herself to me was a very sweet girl about my age...and in her enthusiasm the next thing she said after her name was "And oh, I am expecting" and showed me her baby bump. I felt and still feel miserable I know I notice pregnant women more but this?? Noone has ever come up to me saying their name and pregnancy status.

I feel so...dead and hopeless. I see the empty half in simply everything. I can't shake off the feeling that I am somehow a failure, a useless person with no job and no friends (I left them at home because my dh got a new job in a new place) and of course, no baby Little things which would not have mattered so much drive me nuts and make it worse (I dropped a whole pot of rice on the floor and managed to step into it afterwards). I hate feeling like a good-for-nothing all the time and dunno how to fight it.

Sorry for the rant... xx

 

[Andypanda6570]

Please don't talk that way about yourself that is so NOT true I know how you feel sad, lost and empty i feel it also and it's been 6 months for me. I lost my Ava at 18 and a half weeks, I gave birth to her in my bathroom/ We buried her on 3/11/2011 and let me tell you I was a zombie for months, ignored family and friends. Just now I have started to come around a bit, I still can't be around pregnant women or newborns, but it is getting better and it will get better for you also. Please give yourself some time to heal and please don't talk like that, if you were not a good person you would not be having these emotions, you just would not care at all, so that tells you right there you miss and you love your baby, so how could you be a bad person if you are feeling that? You can't? If you ever need to talk please I am here and even for a vent Please be gentle with yourself, please XOXOXO

 

[ctimi16]

Thank you, Andypanda for your kind and encouraging words. They mean a lot

 

[beansheart]

Hey hunni,
my over riding feeling this time round was how I felt so defunct as a woman, and no matter how much my family or OH kept saying no I could not shake it. It's not gone totally..I just block everything at the moment it seems.
You are in NO way a failure.....you are such a lovely person and are not to blame for anything that has happened. I know words mean so little at these times and people saying time heals and all that cr*p just wind us the hell up....but you have us all here and you know you can talk to me anytime. Please be kind to yourself, though I know it's hard, you're an amazing woman who is just going through hell at the moment xx

 

[Deethehippy]

We are all in this together hun and there are always people on here who are your friends
You are not useless, you are just grieving, it is going to take time.
Who cares about the rice, if you had done that here my dog would of been your best friend Big hugs xx

 

[television]

oh god it was so odd reading this its exactly how ive been feeling i burnt my hand on the hot tap stupid of me but i just thought im shit at everything and good 4 nothing!!! iI just feel like i get all the bad luck its really stupid as i know lots of other ppl get it worse but 4 some reason u dont feel any better, im here if u need a chat