butterfly00
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I need to rant today, sorry it's long! Today marks 1 year exactly since I miscarried and all pregnancy hopes were squashed by the temperature drop and 
I started spotting the other day, 1 year exactly from my first spotting at 11 6/7 weeks. Until today I was hoping that was implantation bleeding.
It's been a year of ups and downs. I'm tired of hearing to stop stressing. I'm tired of hearing it will happen soon. I've gained weight and hate when people- especially family ask if I have an announcement to make. Isn't anyone sensitive to how that might make me feel if I'm not?
I try to stay as positive as I can- most days I am, but some days it's just too hard to be hopeful that this will happen. I feel like there is nobody I can talk to. Counseling didn't help. DH is sad, but copes differently. He doesn't always get the tears and doesn't understand my trouble with letting go. He tries to listen, but usually winds up just saying that we lost our baby and it's not our time yet. Not what helps when I'm upset! My 2 best friends have babies that were born within 2 weeks of my due date. I know they would lend an ear and a shoulder, but I don't want them to feel like I am resentful of them or that I don't want to be around them. I am happy for them, but it's every so often it is so painful to be around them- so I put on a happy face as often as possible. I could name about a dozen people in my life that all have babies that were due March-April. I can't even logon to facebook b/c of all the reminders I get that my little one is gone.
I have started acupuncture and see a huge improvement in my cycles. I try to focus on the positive. I see fertility soon and am anxiously awaiting potential answers. The stress of trying has made midcycle a not so fun time. Trying to keep it fun, but it feels like a chore some months. In tears today and feeling not so hopeful- though I know the hope will come back eventually. I think I'm particularily sad today since AF came on the same day as my loss.
/end rant
I started spotting the other day, 1 year exactly from my first spotting at 11 6/7 weeks. Until today I was hoping that was implantation bleeding. It's been a year of ups and downs. I'm tired of hearing to stop stressing. I'm tired of hearing it will happen soon. I've gained weight and hate when people- especially family ask if I have an announcement to make. Isn't anyone sensitive to how that might make me feel if I'm not?
I try to stay as positive as I can- most days I am, but some days it's just too hard to be hopeful that this will happen. I feel like there is nobody I can talk to. Counseling didn't help. DH is sad, but copes differently. He doesn't always get the tears and doesn't understand my trouble with letting go. He tries to listen, but usually winds up just saying that we lost our baby and it's not our time yet. Not what helps when I'm upset! My 2 best friends have babies that were born within 2 weeks of my due date. I know they would lend an ear and a shoulder, but I don't want them to feel like I am resentful of them or that I don't want to be around them. I am happy for them, but it's every so often it is so painful to be around them- so I put on a happy face as often as possible. I could name about a dozen people in my life that all have babies that were due March-April. I can't even logon to facebook b/c of all the reminders I get that my little one is gone.
I have started acupuncture and see a huge improvement in my cycles. I try to focus on the positive. I see fertility soon and am anxiously awaiting potential answers. The stress of trying has made midcycle a not so fun time. Trying to keep it fun, but it feels like a chore some months. In tears today and feeling not so hopeful- though I know the hope will come back eventually. I think I'm particularily sad today since AF came on the same day as my loss.
/end rant
I lost my little girl at 17 weeks in May 2011. I am still not pg again and it is 15 months later 
