10 weeks and unplanned; freaking out

[jrol]

I'm 10 weeks pregnant and it was unplanned. I had another unplanned pregnancy but miscarried last October. I can't believe I got pregnant 3 months later. I was switching birth control. I want this baby, and I'm excited for this baby. But no one else knows, including my DF.

My DF isn't going to be happy about it because the timing is awful. We're living with his parents until September. Money isn't good at all (I'm not working and can't find work anywhere), he's working though. [edited] But I'm so nervous to tell him... I don't know how to tell him so I've been putting it off for 6 weeks...

And we have to tell his parents too, since we're living with them. Last time his mom kept suggesting abortion and saying it was the mature choice. She said she would support us either way. But I'm going to feel so stupid saying I got pregnant just 3 months after my miscarriage. I wasn't on birth control when I got pregnant the first time, this time I was switching methods and we weren't that careful. I feel like such an idiot... I have no clue how to tell them or DF. I waited so long to tell him.. now it's even harder. Last pregnancy I played my symptoms up and he asked, I said yes.

 

[OnjNairne]

My first was unplanned. I told my bf (husband now) the night I found out, but I was sick thinking about it. I also waited until 8 weeks to tell my mom because I was terrified. My mother is Catholic, so she really wanted us to be married. Of course, no one would have suggested abortion to me, which I think is a terrible thing to bring up to a pregnant woman, personally.

I know that your situation isn't ideal. I realize that it's very hard and stressful for you, but I do have to recommend just telling them. At least tell your DF- he can tell his parents, if you'd rather. Even though it will be hard, or you will feel embarrassed that it happened again so quickly, it will feel better to get it over with and not have to have a secret.

When I finally told my parents, my mom said "you brat" and then it was over. We obviously had our disagreements over the next 7 months, and you will have disagreements with your in-laws too, most likely, but at least you can start to plan, get pre-natal care, etc.

In the end, things typically have a way of working out. Your MIL might be upset, but like you said, she said she'd support you either way. I'm sure that will still stand. I have a feeling that she truly only wants the best for you, and once she knows the baby is on the way, and knows it's staying, she'll start to get excited about having a grandchild.

You can continue looking for work, you can find most of the things baby needs at a discount (especially second hand) if you really try. And if you ask on threads here, I think you will find most moms agree that baby doesn't need as much as you think. We all like to get wrapped up in getting a nursery ready, etc, but if a baby has a family that loves him/her and the basic necessities (food, clothing, a warm bed, some diapers, some toys lol), things really will be okay.

Sorry about my long-winded response. I've just been there, and I want you to know it will be ok!!!

 

[carlandjane]

At the end of the day your going to have to tell him so you may as well just bite the bullet and get it over with really! The longer you put it off the harder it will be and its not fair on your partner being left in the dark. Your both equally responsible. Im sure things will work out ok, its never easy and my mum always said if people wait until they have the money to have a child then they would never have one - children cost as much or as little as you have.
The sooner you tell him the sooner you will feel better x

 

[vickyandchick]

Hi hun

This is my first and was unplanned, I fell pregnant on the pill. My OH wasn't exactly happy about it either and didn't want the baby at first.
We're currently living with my parents and it isn't easy but we get by.

You definitely need to tell your DF, even if he isn't happy you can't keep this to yourself and need the support. You shouldn't feel embarrassed, plenty of people have babies that weren't planned.

We don't have a lot of money either but we're saving as much as we can and you'll be surprised at the amount of stuff people offer you, plus there's always a lot of good deals on.

Good luck hun, I'm sure all will be fine x

 

[RainbowBaby13]

My first pregnancy was unplanned and also ended in a miscarriage.. Sorry for your loss

the worst that can happen is them not being happy at first but they will get over it. You never know, they might just he super happy and supportive. Good luck hun xx