12 week old still can't hold his pacifier in?

[Flossie_Aus]

My son is 12 weeks old, has been offered a dummy/pacifier (on midwifes advice) since 2 weeks, and I still have to hold it in while he sucks on it. We tried all different shapes and seem to have the most success with the NUK Ortho ones, but he still can't keep it in his mouth himself for more than one or two sucks. The only time he will keep it in a little longer is if he is falling asleep, and I think that might be because his gag reflex is more relaxed? Is this normal? Will he lose the reflex or learn to hold it in himself in time, or am I doomed to hold it for him forever?

 

[Cupcake9596]

Is he tongue tied? My DD can't keep a pacifier in very long due to this, and she's almost 5 months! We found tommee tippee ones to be the best for her

 

[Flossie_Aus]

Definitely not tongue tied, the midwives announced it when minutes after birth the tip of his tongue was at the bottom of his chin lol!

He was fussing over his bottles about halfway through, gagging and carrying on, but since Ive switched from closer to nature to Mam the problem seems to have eased.. So I wonder if maybe I still havent found the right type of pacifier? I tried tommee tippee closer to nature, avent, nuk and even the cheap latex cherry ones and he can't hold any of them in, I thought he would have got the hang of it by now

 

[katsbump]

Mam are good pacifiers. He may just not like pacifiers.

 

[Bevziibubble]

I was going to say tongue tie too, but sounds like it's not that!


We use the mam dummies and James took to them quite well.

 

[noon_child]

Maybe its just that he doesn't want a pacifier? The tongue thrust reflex (the thing that means they push most of their food back out of their mouth if you start weaning them too early) can happen on anything going in to the mouth as a protection against choking. You may have success with a pacifier that is the same shape as his bottles as his brain has accepted that those are "safe", but if it doesn't have milk coming out of it he may immediately push it out as "dangerous".

 

[wannabemomy37]

Xavier is only 2 months but also has trouble keeping it in his mourh. I do think he has a lip tie but docs say since we can breastfeed fine then he doesn't have one?

 

[Flossie_Aus]

I might have to try the mam ones. I dont think its that he doesnt want it as he will happily suck as long as I hold it in. When I let go and it falls out he will cry for me to hold it back in. If he didn't have the paci he would happily snack feed every hour and a half and waste a lot of formula, and sleep really poorly due to not feeding properly, and hes always had phenomenal weight gain which is why the midwife suggested it and hes slept really well since. He doesn't even have it at night and he sleeps 11 hours straight most nights. Mam are pretty much the only ones available here that we havent tried so Ill give them a go! Thanks for the advice

 

[donnarobinson]

Defo agree with man ds1 loved them my other two boys wouldn't take a dummy tho X

 

[noon_child]

I dont think its that he doesnt want it as he will happily suck as long as I hold it in. When I let go and it falls out he will cry for me to hold it back in.

I didn't mean so much consciously not want it but more that his tongue thrust reflex is pushing it out automatically maybe. That's why different shapes sometimes work for some babies as their reflex doesn't get activated by certain shapes that their mouth accepts as safe.

 

[Flossie_Aus]

I dont think its that he doesnt want it as he will happily suck as long as I hold it in. When I let go and it falls out he will cry for me to hold it back in.

I didn't mean so much consciously not want it but more that his tongue thrust reflex is pushing it out automatically maybe. That's why different shapes sometimes work for some babies as their reflex doesn't get activated by certain shapes that their mouth accepts as safe.

Ohhh wow that's really interesting!

 

[MindUtopia]

He may just not be interested in having it while he's awake, also they can be difficult to keep in until they build up those muscles for sucking. Other than that, if you haven't yet, try the bulb ones, not the ortho ones. My daughter had all sorts of struggles with latch because of a high palate and lip tie and a few other things, which caused all sorts of feeding problems, even when we switched to bottle feeding for the first few months. And she also couldn't hold a dummy in. We didn't really use one until about 4-5 months, but the bulb ones were the only kind she could take. They never caused any issues with her teeth. She would have it for nighttime and also some naps (not while awake though) until she was 2 and her teeth are perfect.

 

[gems86]

Nuby are the best ones.......they are called Uber and it's a "one size fits all" you don't have to buy different sizes for the different ages of your child.

 

[Flossie_Aus]

Just wanted to update everyone that the culprit has been found: LO has been diagnosed with a significant posterior tongue tie! Very disappointed that the midwives just assumed he wouldn't have one, and that we failed to breastfeed due to inadequate care.

 

[Cupcake9596]

Glad you found the cause but how disappointing that it was missed! Is he going to get it cut? Our surgeon here won't cut DD's until she's a year old!

 

[Flossie_Aus]

They want to separate it asap, for which I'm thankful. Now we just have to choose between laser and scissors, which is a whole new can of worms! Why is it that they're making your LO wait so long?

 

[Cupcake9596]

Apparently she's now too old to have it snipped without anaesthetic, and our surgeon would rather wait until she's a year old due to risks of general anaesthetic which is a pain because even though she's gaining weight brilliantly, doctors don't see the stressful feeding times we have!

 

[Flossie_Aus]

Ughhh I hear you, I know how stressful it is We are hopefully having it done by laser. I am really not looking forward to the ordeal though!