19 and pregnant

[dreamer_x]

Hey girls,

So I'm 19 and just found out that I'm pregnant. My OH is 24. By the time the baby comes I'll be 20 and he'll be 25 but it still seems like such a young age...how have you all come to terms with it?
I feel like my life's been thrown upside down. I'm still doing a degree for heavens sake, how am I supposed to balance that, even if it is part time, and a baby? How am I going to afford it all?

I'm so scared. My mum and his parents are concerned about money and situation, but no one has any solutions for us, it's a lot of pressure for us to get everything sorted on our own.

Any advice? :/

Thanks

 

[JessicaaJadex]

Hey, I'm Jess. 18 and 8+3 weeks pregnant.

First off, congratulations on your pregnancy and welcome to the site. The girls on here are amazing and so helpful. Secondly, relax girl! You sound really stressed out about the situation and its not good for you or your baby. I know that girls on here will be able to reassure you that everything will be fine, because most of them have experienced what it's like being a young parent and having to juggle 'life'.

You don't need to worry, i know for a fact I still haven't come to terms with it at all, and I've know for nearly a month now. But you will, eventually. Whether its at your first appointment, first scan, feeling the baby move for the first time or even buying its first outfit!

Happy and healthy nine months to you. Try not to stress, we are all here whenever you need to chat!

 

[17pregnant]

Hi there, congrats and welcome My name is Evita, i'm 18 in a week and 19+5 with my son. I know you will be having all these emotions, it's definitely a shock finding out your expecting, but yes try not to stress I am doing a midwifery degree, but am going to find a way to juggle both.

 

[jozylynn896]

Honestly, its not easy. It is so hard to go to school and take care of a baby. But it's worth it. I know, cliche, right? But it's so true. Its hard juggling it all but after a while, it will come naturally. And it gets easier.

Also, I agree that stress isn't something you need right now! Just relax and it will all be okay I promise. The girls in this site are amazing. You can always message me if you ever wnt to tlk. About any thing. The next nine months will be hard, not gonna lie. But well support you!

My name is Kristina, I'm 16 and have an almost two month old Noah who is the most perfect thing in my world.

 

[jesssika]

Welcome you'll get support and answers to every question you have here I'm Jess. 18 and 12+2 with my first I'm also doing a degree! I plan on continuing it via distance (online) education so I can at least be home with baby. Unexpected pregnancies are a struggle whether you're 19 or 39, but we all get through it with the right support and advice

 

[samisshort]

First off congrats on your pregnancy you need to relax honestly. It is a very stressful thing but thousands of girls do it every day. It really just comes down to if you want to be a mama
It's a scary thought at first, we have all been there. But you can do it, and all the girls on this site offer amazing advice and support.

I'm 18 with a 14 month old son and I'm 7 weeks pregnant with my second. Oh and I'm single, their father is not in the picture and won't be. I know if I can do it, you can!
Send me a message if you'd like any advice

 

[xforuiholdonx]

I have to agree with Sam. I was 17 years old when I got pregnant with our daughter. I had busted.my nuts to graduated highschool a year early, to join the military, but here I was, moved out on my own with my now DH, working minimum wage to pay our bills and having a baby. Our little bit was born the day before.my 18th birthday. Its hard, stressful and some days can just reduce you to.tears especially if you struggle financially, but at the end of the day, when your snuggled up on the couch with your little bit,watching finding.nemo and they look up at you and say "i love you mommy", none.of.it matters any more. Not the struggling, or the debt, or their attitude that day. Being a mom is an amazing experience. Take the good with the bad and embrace it! Itll be alright! There are programs out there to help.you get what you need regardless of where you.live in the world, accept help and dont stress right.now. Itll be ok

Congratulations by the way! Im Lisa, aged at 20. My DH is 23, Emma is turning 3 on the 19th if this month, and her little brother is due on the 18th.

 

[MummyMana]

Heya, congratulations I'm mana and I have a 13 week old baby called Imogen. I'm 19 aswell and tbh its easier than you think the thing about having kids is, you find a way. You have no choice, you just do it I don't even have a financial situation to speak of but I get by. I'm afraid I can't give any advice regarding your degree I'm afraid, if it were me I'd probably put it on hold for a few years but it depends how important it is to you...

 

[ClairAye]

Firstly, welcome and congratulations :wave: My name is Clair, I'm 18 and I have a one year old son and I'm pregnant with our second, I'll be 19 when this one comes and my OH has just turned 24.

I had left school etc when I got pregnant but I wouldn't change it, and when this one on the way has come after a few years I'll be going to college and then hopefully uni. I don't have any advice on juggling the two though but I know that plenty of people do

Me and OH were on and off benefits before as he was in and out of temp work, we managed then, but of course it's no lifestyle and babies are not cheap but we managed to get by, and there are a lot of things you can do to cut costs here and there. My OH works 12 hours a day, 6 days a week now and I stay at home with our son. There is a lot of help you can get, child benefit and child tax credits.

I know it's a lot to take in but I'm so happy being a mum and honestly I can't wait to have two! When I go back to education I'll still be so young and have plenty of time to settle into a career too

Hope that was helpful and not just rambling!

 

[dreamer_x]

Thank you so much for all your replies! Reading them all has definitely helped. I'm still a bit stressed about money and us finding our own place - we're currently both living with my mum and the house isn't at all big enough to accommodate a baby too. We're having to look at taking out a mortgage which will make it even harder when baby comes.

Thank you for all the congratulations too, I think I've only had one of those from people at home so far, parents are far too worried and concerned about money, but my best friend was ecstatic when I told her.

I'm going to have a word with my uni when I've had my first scan and see what I can do. I'll be half way through my second year when the baby comes, but I only study half time so I'm hoping I'll still be able to carry on with it by just working from home for the first few weeks after the baby arrives and then I'm hoping my OH can work it around work that he can be here for baby when I have uni 3 hours a week.

All your replies have been very comforting so thank you all, and congratulations to all you expecting mummys!

 

[ClairAye]

Well we're always here if you need! This site helped me so much when I was pregnant with my son

 

[x__amour]

Age is merely a number, I love being a young mommy. Congratulations.

 

[ShakeItBaby1]

I have to agree with Sam. I was 17 years old when I got pregnant with our daughter. I had busted.my nuts to graduated highschool a year early, to join the military, but here I was, moved out on my own with my now DH, working minimum wage to pay our bills and having a baby. Our little bit was born the day before.my 18th birthday. Its hard, stressful and some days can just reduce you to.tears especially if you struggle financially, but at the end of the day, when your snuggled up on the couch with your little bit,watching finding.nemo and they look up at you and say "i love you mommy", none.of.it matters any more. Not the struggling, or the debt, or their attitude that day. Being a mom is an amazing experience. Take the good with the bad and embrace it! Itll be alright! There are programs out there to help.you get what you need regardless of where you.live in the world, accept help and dont stress right.now. Itll be ok

Congratulations by the way! Im Lisa, aged at 20. My DH is 23, Emma is turning 3 on the 19th if this month, and her little brother is due on the 18th.

This post just made me cry!! I can't even imagine a little sweet face looking up and saying, "I love you mommy." I know I personally needed that. Thank you.

 

[caandii]

Thank you so much for all your replies! Reading them all has definitely helped. I'm still a bit stressed about money and us finding our own place - we're currently both living with my mum and the house isn't at all big enough to accommodate a baby too. We're having to look at taking out a mortgage which will make it even harder when baby comes.

Thank you for all the congratulations too, I think I've only had one of those from people at home so far, parents are far too worried and concerned about money, but my best friend was ecstatic when I told her.

I'm going to have a word with my uni when I've had my first scan and see what I can do. I'll be half way through my second year when the baby comes, but I only study half time so I'm hoping I'll still be able to carry on with it by just working from home for the first few weeks after the baby arrives and then I'm hoping my OH can work it around work that he can be here for baby when I have uni 3 hours a week.

All your replies have been very comforting so thank you all, and congratulations to all you expecting mummys!

First of all big congratulations.
I know I'm a little older than you, I'm 21 and had my little boy when I was 20.
Where are you from? Could you maybe get a council house til you can figure out a mortgage? That's what I did cos I was still living with my mom too.
As for school, you could try finish your course from home.
Try not to worry too much. I wasn't in a stable financial situation either as I don't work but we get along just fine now.
Good luck hun

 

[dreamer_x]

Thank you so much for all your replies! Reading them all has definitely helped. I'm still a bit stressed about money and us finding our own place - we're currently both living with my mum and the house isn't at all big enough to accommodate a baby too. We're having to look at taking out a mortgage which will make it even harder when baby comes.

Thank you for all the congratulations too, I think I've only had one of those from people at home so far, parents are far too worried and concerned about money, but my best friend was ecstatic when I told her.

I'm going to have a word with my uni when I've had my first scan and see what I can do. I'll be half way through my second year when the baby comes, but I only study half time so I'm hoping I'll still be able to carry on with it by just working from home for the first few weeks after the baby arrives and then I'm hoping my OH can work it around work that he can be here for baby when I have uni 3 hours a week.

All your replies have been very comforting so thank you all, and congratulations to all you expecting mummys!

First of all big congratulations.
I know I'm a little older than you, I'm 21 and had my little boy when I was 20.
Where are you from? Could you maybe get a council house til you can figure out a mortgage? That's what I did cos I was still living with my mom too.
As for school, you could try finish your course from home.
Try not to worry too much. I wasn't in a stable financial situation either as I don't work but we get along just fine now.
Good luck hun

Thank you

I'm in the North West, apparently the council don't have houses any more and we have to go through a housing association, we've applied for it, just waiting for ID to be checked over really.
I had a word with my tutor last week and she was lovely about it, which really helped since I was a bit worried about placement next year and assignments, but she said as long as I get the hours in over the next 2 years, it'll be fine and that they'll support me the best they possibly can and that if need be I can get extensions on assignments etc which was good to hear just to put me at ease!
Trying to get a job, it's not easy though, obviously I'm not telling them that I'm pregnant but it'll be difficult if I get a job then have to tell them!

 

[caandii]

Well keep your head up Hun. Feel free to message me if you wanna chat.

 

[motherearth23]

Hey I'm Emily, and I'm 20. Due in July. My boyfriend is almost 22, so I understand feeling young to be a parent without necessarily being a teen mom. I don't have any specific advice for how to get help financially or with school since I'm in America and I'm sure things are different in the UK... Just know that you have to trust that things will work out. I was really scared to tell anyone for the longest time. My family didn't know until I hit second trimester and I just couldn't keep it from them. My boyfriend's family didn't know until I was 16 weeks! I was also scared about continuing my education. I just finished my first year of college/university and I was concerned that I wouldn't be able to go back. They are really supportive of young parents, which I didn't know... and are offering me online classes and the ability to be a part-time student without having to pay back my loans until I finish my degree.

I will say that you grow up pretty quick once you realize you have another person's life in your hands, but it's really not bad. I actually like feeling like an adult instead of a kid, especially in the eyes of my family. They told me recently how proud they were of the two of us stepping up to the plate to make good parents, and how responsible I am now compared to just two years ago. If you don't live separately from your family now, I would almost recommend not changing that as long as things are happy. The costs of living are really high, and it's so hard to afford groceries as a pregnant woman without getting help financially (at least for us). I guess since your OH is a bit older he might have more stability, but we definitely took a full year getting on our feet once we moved in with each other in 2011. It was a struggle to find work, but things did turn out in our favor because we busted our butts to make it that way.

Congrats on your pregnancy, and I'm sure things will turn out just great for you!

 

[salamander91]

Hi, me and OH are 21 and I'm 7+5. He has just finished his degree (at UCLAN actually, saw you're from Preston) and I'm nearly finished, just have some coursework to do so we're both unemployed at the minute and very worried about our financial situation so I totally understand where you're coming from there. I know OH was terrified at first about being a dad and supporting us financially but he's so excited now he's gotten used to it

 

[Jennaxo]

First of congratulations on your pregnancy! I'm Jenna, I'm 19 and I'm a single mummy to a nearly 1 year old little boy. I like to lurk in here to see if I can help anyone, sometimes it's just nice to hear from someone that's already been through it all!

Secondly, relax! You will find a way to get through this. I didn't know how I was going to support a baby when I first got pregnant and I think we all go through this, but it's easier than you think, once all the big bits are out the way it's just finding ways to save money and get through. There's plenty of help out there too, it's just a matter of looking in the right places! You'll be okay