.

[RainbowBaby13]

Congrats mizzyd!

Keeping my fingers crossed for you pacificlin

 

[AidensMama]

Hi ladies. I like to jump on the TTC buddy train. I've been scouring threads on the site in late night google frenzies for a long time now, but am a newbie member.

I'm 24 years old, have a 3 year old DS, and we have been TTC #2 for 13 cycles now. I'm pretty irregular and have been keeping track of my cycle dates, but have just aggressively starting charting and temping recently. I'm thinking of trying vitex and maybe preseed since I'm not seeing results au naturale at this point.

My boyfriend and I have been together 9 years (since high school), living together 6, and I usually refer to him as hubby or DH. We did not prevent for 5 years before conceiving our little guy, and although I hate to say it I'm honestly not that surprised we are struggling a bit for #2.

Like Rainbow, I am hoping maybe I'll get an October BFP.

Also, I'd LOVE to have a baby girl, since I have a little boy and I'd like a chance to play with pretty bows and have tea parties since I already do cars and bugs and trains and mud. No matter what thought, I'll be ecstatic to have a little sweetie in my arms and would love a second little boy to pieces.

As for dreaming, I CONSTANTLY dream of being pregnant, feeling a baby move in my tummy and often of a dark haired little girl. I know it's my hearts desires manifesting in my dreams. Lately though the baby dreams have given way to some REALLY CRAZY dreams like climbing through sewers under town and coming out in the locker room of an indoor city pool. That's not even the weirdest, I think my brain is telling me it needs a break from reality.

Hope we can all be buddies and support for eachother and just shoot the breeze, I'm absolutely a motor-mouth. Baby dust to all.

 

[RainbowBaby13]

Hi and welcome!

Keeping my fingers crossed for our October bfps and that you concieve a little girl

I use to have pregnancy dreams like every night. They were always of twins boys or just one boy and of breast feeding. I haven't had any in a while tho. Like you I always fantasize about being pregnant . I always wonder what symptoms Iwill get, how big I'll get , will my belly button pop , just all that. And my labor experience and what my baby will look like and if I'll have twins. The list goes on and on lol. I can't wait to announce a bfp and I'm looking fwd to us all conceiving soon

 

[AidensMama]

Thanks, maybe we'll get our BFP's close together and can be preggo buddies too! Fingers X'd!

I absolutely fantasize about pregnancy and a new baby to a level that my DH would probably call disturbing if he knew the extent of it. It's all the wishing and hoping and excitement of the possibilities.

Also, with DS at my very first prenatal appointment the doc noticed his umbillical area didnt look quite right and we had an ultrasound and appointment with a specialist right away. We found out at 13 weeks that he had Gastroschisis (his abdominal wall didnt form correctly and his bowels were outside of the body cavity). I was high risk the entire pregnancy, he was born via very scary emergency c-section 6 weeks early and then spent 54 days in the NICU. He was transferred to a different hospital than me directly after birth for surgery and I didnt get to hold him until he was 7 days old. He had to be fed through an IV because he couldnt digest and then went on a special partially pre-digest formula once he was healed up and I never got to even consider breastfeeding him. So, I spend a lot of time thinking about what it would be like to have a less stressfull pregnancy, possibly a vbac or at least a more routine c-section and the chance to try and breastfeed. Not that my first son's birth and early life were special or amazing, but sometimes I feel like I was so anxious and things were so crazy that I really didn't get to enjoy it the way I would have loved too.

So, anyway, after my incredibly long-winded post. I hope October might be the month for our BFPS. Baby Dust to all!!

 

[pacificlin]

Nice to meet you, AidensMama! Fingers crossed for some s!

 

[RainbowBaby13]

Thanks, maybe we'll get our BFP's close together and can be preggo buddies too! Fingers X'd!

I absolutely fantasize about pregnancy and a new baby to a level that my DH would probably call disturbing if he knew the extent of it. It's all the wishing and hoping and excitement of the possibilities.

Also, with DS at my very first prenatal appointment the doc noticed his umbillical area didnt look quite right and we had an ultrasound and appointment with a specialist right away. We found out at 13 weeks that he had Gastroschisis (his abdominal wall didnt form correctly and his bowels were outside of the body cavity). I was high risk the entire pregnancy, he was born via very scary emergency c-section 6 weeks early and then spent 54 days in the NICU. He was transferred to a different hospital than me directly after birth for surgery and I didnt get to hold him until he was 7 days old. He had to be fed through an IV because he couldnt digest and then went on a special partially pre-digest formula once he was healed up and I never got to even consider breastfeeding him. So, I spend a lot of time thinking about what it would be like to have a less stressfull pregnancy, possibly a vbac or at least a more routine c-section and the chance to try and breastfeed. Not that my first son's birth and early life were special or amazing, but sometimes I feel like I was so anxious and things were so crazy that I really didn't get to enjoy it the way I would have loved too.

So, anyway, after my incredibly long-winded post. I hope October might be the month for our BFPS. Baby Dust to all!!

Haha me too. Sometimes I look in the mirror and try to imagine me with a bump lol. And omg that sounds super scary! Im sorry that you had to experience that but I'm glad u guys are ok now. I hope I have a mom stressful pregnancy because just like you I want to be able to enjoy every single aspect of my pregnancy , symptoms and all. I would love a vaginal birth. The thought of c-section makes my stomach turn lol. No clue why. I hope we see some positives soon

 

[AidensMama]

Honestly, the c-section recovery wasn't nearly as bad as I expected. I was up and walking around my hospital room a little bit the next day and walking around the NICU unit the day I was discharged just 2 days post-op, although I wasn't back to my normal mobility for a week or 2. I was lucky and my incision healed really well (I was GLUED instead of stapled, which surprised me). If I can't have a VBAC it won't be terrible, I just always hoped for vaginal and know that when we have our next it would be so much easier to care for a newborn AND a young son without having to heal from surgery, plus I'd LOVE to try breastfeeding in the delivery room.

The worst part for me was the fact that because it was so urgent and a crazyt emergency scenario I had to be put completely to sleep rather than just having a spinal, and anesthesia ALWAYS make me weepy and super-foggy when I wake up.

 

[pacificlin]

So, I'm home alone right now; the guy isn't home from work yet, but I'm kinda FREAKING OUT so here I am I seriously wish I could be more calm during this whole process and not analyze every little thing my body does...

So, I'll preface this with a warning that some may consider the following to be TMI! However, if you read as many posts on this forum as I do then you're probably used to talk like this!

I'm currently only 5dpo right now and I have so far managed to be pretty mellow. I have told myself not to even consider taking a PT until next Tuesday! But then... (and here's the TMI part) I just went to the bathroom and there was a couple spots of blood when I wiped. To make sure my eyes were not playing tricks of me, I got a clean sheet, wiped again, and sure enough, there was about a nickle-sized spot of blood. Then nothing. NEVER, in the 17 years I've been getting my period have I had that much blood so early before AF (AF is not scheduled to arrive until September 20th and I am extremely regular). So, of course the first thing I did was jump on Google and search for "5dpo bleeding", "implantation bleeding" etc... and pretty much started to drive myself crazy. So, I had to stop the Googling and here I am. TRYING REALLY HARD NOT TO GET MY HOPES UP, but that is easier said than done, especially when that is such an EXTREMELY unusual symptom for me. I know 5dpo is typically early for IB. SIGH. OK, thanks for letting me vent. I think I'm going to take my dog for a walk in an attempt to get my mind off things....

Hope things are going well for you ladies!

 

[pacificlin]

Wait, I lied, I'm 6dpo. MY BRAIN! Seriously, I hate how manic TTC has made me. Interested to see what my temps/chart looks like when it's time for me to temp again, up until this morning it has looked pretty normal (temps still above coverline). OK, really leaving now!

 

[RainbowBaby13]

Thats good that you recovered well! I always hear of the stories that are kinda bad and leave you feeling kinda sick to the stomach. And i agree that a vaginal delivery would make it way easier for you already having a young toddler. But if i have a c section i hope its as great as yours. And wow! Never heard of being glued before? Im so curious on how that would look after the op and healing process! Keeping my fingers crossed for you!! @pacificlin thats crazy! I hope its implantation bleeding! Definitely sounds like it to me! lol i always say that. Like i try not to get my hopes up ahigh and i try not to over analyze things but i always do. I hope u get your bfp. I hope this is your bfp! babydust to you all!

 

[RainbowBaby13]

and sorry for all of the errors lol im using my phone and it formatted it really wierd so i wasnt able to really go back and fix all of the errors so hopefully these posts make since lol. Babydust

 

[AidensMama]

The incision site really didnt look bad at all post-op. I mean it was really red and sore and a little swollen for like a week or so afterwards, maybe a little longer, but once the swelling went down and the redness went away it really wasn't bad-looking at all.

I didn't have the trouble with healing that I have heard stories about from some women I have known who had other methods of closure. For example my sister-in-law had 2 c-sections and they closed her with staples and she hates her scar, she had it crack and blister on her when it was still new.

Now, 3 years later I am pretty happy with how mine healed and looks. It's gotten lighter and lighter as time goes on. It is a low scar, my panties pretty much hit right above it unless they are super low-cuts in the front. The only complaint that I have is that it definitely increased the amount of pooching of my tummy. I am probably 10-15 pounds overweight for my height according to the medical charts or standards and have always been a bit soft in the middle, but it's kind of exaggerated the dimple of my tummy a little bit. Nothing terrible, or that I wouldn't expect. I'd say glue is a great closure method. (Also, I was at a big hospital, and my incision was laser-cut so that might be better for the healing/appearance than say a scalpel cut.)


Pacificlin- I know exactly what you mean about TTC making you manic. I feel the same way.I get absolutely crazy symptom spotting or cycle analyzing sometimes. I have noticed spotting and hoped it was IB a few times.

However 6dpo really is about the time IB could be a realistic possibility, I believe. Staying hopeful it what pulls us through, so don't feel too crazy, but just try to keep it in check so you don't convince yourself before you know a bit more. I'm really hoping that it's IB. I'd say wait maybe another 4-5 days if you can before testing. That would probably be the earliest I would even start to take a negative seriously anyway. Baby Dust!

 

[RainbowBaby13]

Wow I had no idea that they did that. Or laser cut . that sounds so futuristic lol. I hope you get your bfp this month best of luck ladies

 

[AidensMama]

I know, when I came out of anesthesia and was talking with my hubby about it later and he told me that they cut me with a laser I was really surprised. I'd never heard of such a thing. It reminded me of a sci-fi movie or something.


So I am a bit frustrated today. I was really hoping for a BFP this cycle, but I think our timing might have been just a bit off. With a 3 year old DS and DH working crazy alternating 12 hour shifts sometimes we just can't make our schedules work for us. I think we were too late to catch the egg. I would have liked to have BD'ed a few time in the days leading up to O, but we were only able to BD twice so far this cycle within my fertility window and according to Fertility Friend the first time was actually the day after my O day.

I have had pretty irregular and long cycles, and have been having late O (like around CD 22) so I was at first thinking that we were pretty early, but knowing that I have more days to consider possibilities I thought we'd start early and go every other day until I saw the temp spike or AF.

This is my first month seriously temping and keeping in a good routine with it. I also have been paying close attention to CM and other 'secondary' signs. A few of my temps might have been a little off, as there were a couple of days the time that I took my temped was an hour or two later or earlier than usual, but nothing too dramatic and most days I stayed very close to the same time.

The crosshairs on my chart showed up after I entered my temp this morning putting my O day on CD 11 (earlier than I expected, but not too suprising if I factor in some past cycles and other fertility signs this cycle) and we didn't actually BD till CD 12 and 14. We dtd today after I woke up and took my temp, but before I entered it and got the crosshairs. I noticed only one day of EWC on CD 13 (though it was pretty wet/thin on CD 12 and maybe CD 11). My cervical position felt low, softer, and sort of open on CD 12 and 13. I also had some twinges that feel familiar for O time on CD 12 and noticed a VERY slight pink tinge to my CM on CD 13, and today.

The optimism I felt for this cycle has been sucked out of me. I know that FF is not perfect and that human error with my temping could have confused my O date. I also know that BDing after the O probably isnt effective, and if the prediction is right we almost definitely are likely to have missed the egg. My non-temp signs coincide with fertility around the time, although I still have slight hope that the O date prediction is off by a day or two and that maybe there is a chance we were lucky and caught the egg somehow. I also know that this is only one cycle, and that we can do better to get in more BD before/around time of O next time, it's just a bummer.

Sorry for the looooong rant, just needed to vent a little. Good luck ladies, hope your timing is good this cycle and keeping fingers X'd to see some BFP's in the next few weeks.

P.S. Chart if anyone is interested.

My Ovulation Chart

 

[RainbowBaby13]

How does the glue work? Do they put it inbetween the incision or on top of the skin? And no its ok this is why i creatd the thread is so ladies like ourselves can have a place to vent, rant, chat and show and give support and do you think that the pink cm was possible implantation bleeding? My cycles are pretty irregular. My shortest cycle was 22 and the the longest was 32 . According to my period tracker app my average cyxle day is 31. So i honestly never knoe the except day but i can tell when im about to start soon because i start cramping. I hope you caught the eggy this month!and i bd twice this cycle so hopefully ones of those times worked. Also since my periods are irregular i know that ovulation is possible whenever. I ovulate soon after my period. Babydust to you hun

 

[pacificlin]

I have been lurking and reading, but haven't had the gusto to post recently. I've been stressed over unreasonable hopes and concerns, but oh well. I had gotten my hopes up that this could be our month. I romanticized that if we conceived this month it would have been on our nine-year anniversary. Then I had that crazy spotting on 6dpo (NEVER have had anything like that on a previous cycle, EVER) which was accompanied by a rise in my BBT (my chart went triphasic). Then starting two days ago temps came crashing down and yesterday that AF showed up. So, I think I'm going to "celebrate" her return with some sushi and a big ol glass of wine, BECAUSE I CAN!

Last week my best friend told me she is pregnant. I honestly and truly am BEYOND excited for her and her DH. Heck, I have already bought presents for the new baby! We currently live on opposite sides of the country, unfortunately. Next month my boyfriend and I are going out-of-town on vacation. About half way through the trip we're being joined by my best friend and her DH. I'm hoping I'll be so ecstatic about traveling and visiting with my best friend that I won't be too emotional about her baby bump and my empty uterus. She knows we're TTC so I know she will be sensitive about it (she and her DH were TTC longer than my bf and I have been). But I also don't want to rain on her parade, I want her to be able to be excited around me!

We're also going to be visiting with some other old friends, most of which have had kids within the past couple years. These friends do NOT know we're TTC. In the past they have teased us with "you're next!" or "when are you guys having kids?"; those statements never bothered me when were were not TTC, but now that we are... I just really hope they keep those thoughts to themselves It amazes me that people with kids say things like that, you would think they realize TTC can be a stressful process and just because people don't have kids doesn't mean they're not trying! Maybe they're just the lucky ones who conceive easily... I'll be smack dab in the middle of my TWW during our visit... Needless to say, I was really hoping to get a BFP to make this upcoming trip a little less emotionally stressful! I'm still looking forward to it and who knows, maybe I'm over-analyzing everything...

So anywho, I'm officially out this month. Fingers crossed for October! I've also realized that at this point I will officially be in my 30's before I have my first child (I'm 29, turn 30 in April). I always thought I would have my first before I turned 30, not gonna happen. This is bothering me more than it probably should. Mainly because we want to have two kids (ideally a few years apart) and 35 is that "evil" age when everyone and everything warns of extra decreased fertility and high-risk pregnancies. See, I'm worrying about things five years in the future now... Is it too early for wine...at work?

Hope you ladies are doing well!

 

[RainbowBaby13]

I'm so sorry I hope that October be your month!!! That's good that you're still happy for your friend as well.

I'm doing ok , I hope your doing well

Cycle day 14 for me keeping my fx for this month

 

[AidensMama]

Rainbow - I'm pretty sure the glue was sort of IN the incision, not on top of the skin. It seemed (after the swelling/redness went down) that the two sides were almost perfectly fused back together.

Fertility Friend moved my O to CD 12. I dont think the pink CM was implantation, I was thinking it was O spotting maybe, but I had sort of a GUSH of bright RED blood later on the same day i noticed the PINK CM. It went watery pink and then disappeared by the same day, but I've been having spotting on and off since O, so confusing. My temps have stayed up though, except for a SLIGHT dip, but still above the coverline.

Pacific, you seem to be staying as positive as you can for your friend, and I really admire that. I know it's hard to be excited for her, when you just want your own so badly. Since she knows your TTC and will likely be sensitive, I'm sure she wont be rubbing it in your face and will understand that even though your happy for her you might need to stay a bit aloof.
It does suck that you'l be in the TWW while traveling, I don't envy that one tiny bit. I also agree that people with children/who don't understand the feelings of TTC or don't know your struggling with it can say the worst possible thing. I generally chalk it up to ignorance rather than facetious intentions, but still, those comments can be like a punch in the gut. Hang in there.

As for getting pregnant in your 30's, although it might not be ideal for you, it's not as ominous as it might feel. My mother was 32 when my youngest brother was born, and he was a total surprise. She needed Provera to ovulate and get pregnant with me and my brother who is only 2 years younger than me, but ten years later she got a surprise baby. Also, my aunt didn't have children until her second marriage and with her daughters she was 33 and 35 and they are perfectly healthy beautiful girls (although the latter was a few weeks preemie).

I was just discussing this with my oldest childhood girl friend. She is 26 and just got married a few months ago. They do want a baby, but her husband is still in training with the military and they don't feel quite ready yet. She says she'd like to have a baby or at least get pregnant before she turns 30. I told her while that is a great goal, she shouldn't let it feel like a limitation. She had some issues with HPV and her reproductive health and is worried that it will take her a while to conceive, but I told her to try not to stress, as she'll be doing plenty of that once they are actively trying.

No matter what, feel free to lurk if that's what you feel like doing, or if you want to talk about it or vent or just chat to try and keep yourself busy I'll be around and always with an ear open.

 

[pacificlin]

Thanks, ladies

My mom was actually 38 when I was born! We've never talked about it specifically, but I would be extremely surprised if she had any kind of medical assistance. She has major doctor/hospital/needles/drug/etc anxiety so that would be waaaay out of character for her

Once the initial blow of AF wears off it seems to feel a lot better, for me at least. It's kinda nice to have a "break" from TTC before the waiting to O and then the TWW begins again...

 

[AidensMama]

Well, I just started seriously bleeding. This really blows. AF is here and packing a serious punch. So, my luteal phase was only 6/7 days this cycle. Yuck.

I know what you mean, even though I'm seriously bummed out right now I'm thinking that at least I can stop obsessing about this cycle/symptom spotting and relax a little before I start waiting for the O. I have a big paper to write for my literature class for next week, so after I spend today brooding and moping a bit I can focus on that and get it done.