Hi V2R, I did follow your advice and asked my partner. He knows the 2 ladies that I would like to ask, they're not close friends of ours and they are both really sensitive people. At the same time, ironically, we've have had another close friend tell us she'd be happy to donate her eggs and this is exactly type of friend who I feel you're talking about. I don't trust her, she's promiscuous and loose with her morals, she's not sensitive, she's not professional or really sharp and it would bring about all sorts of weird feelings and potential comments about how the baby looks like her etc.
But the two ladies who I am considering are kind of removed from my life but very very scientific, logical, professional people who I'd completely not have weird feelings about and know they wouldn't make stupid comments. My OH's reaction to both was exactly that, well at least they're the type to not look at our kids sideways or make dumb comments. He said he could have any discussion with the lady I bumped into and am considering and it's like speaking to a colleague, she's very down to earth, not moody or emotionally charged.
About adoption, this will be our last resort. I really want to be a mom and it's almost double the cost of donor eggs so really unattainable for us unless we sell our rental property. I would always be worried about the mother's nutrition and if they drank or took drugs while pregnant. They've linked SO many illnesses with gestational malnutrition in the past 5 years that it scares the heck out of me to junp in blind. For example, some things I've recently found out...
lack of iron=ADHD, learning disabilities, developmental problems (iron transports oxygen, they now know a lack of iron/vegetarian diet has huge impacts on the long term health of the fetus)
over/under eating=direct links to obesity in child, lifelong issues
high sugar, chronic candida, bad gut bacteria/lack of probiotic good gut flora=severe allergies and other irritation conditions
At least by carrying, I have a little more control over my health. My girlfriend has terrible nutrition and had low iron all throughout her pregnancy. Both of her babies are now grown and in school and have been diagnosed with severe learning disabilities. Her eldest was a year late with learning to speak and threw temper tantrums & started biting other kids in her nursury out of frustration from not being able to communicate. Her doctor tried to get her to take liquid iron with her second pregnancy but she complained about it. I know anything can happen, in fact it could be worse with our own kids (it's a crap shoot!) ie with autism etc but I'd like to have a hand in growing my babies...
