1st Grandparent Syndrome -.- *rant*

[SleepyBaby]

ok i get it, this is your first grandchild, but seriously, when i was pregnant you told me dont get to excited the baby could die, even when my best friends baby was called to the clouds and you carried on! you knew i was at her scans and id been asked by her to view the baby on the day we went to her funeral, you carried on warning me and telling me not to get my hopes up! WHO DOES THAT?? then along comes baby and you want to take every minute you can with MY baby, when she was born 2 days later you invited us for dinner to meet her properly, fair enough, i was shattered and turning down dinner wasnt on the cards but really it was a family party to introduce the baby to your family! i was stuck in your house all day, from 12pm to after 8 when id given birth 48 hours before hand!! then when she was a couple of weeks me and my mr where fighting because you wanted to take her out and i wasnt ready to let her go, so i was selfish! then again i wouldnt take a 2 month old to a party in a bar after her bedtime, again it was me that was being selfish! now you expect me to just give her to you when you want her for however long you want her! theres a family gathering and you have to pick her dress and you have to decide where shes gonna be and whats photos shes going to be in, i havent even seen the dress! i would have like to picked a dress for my baby girl!! but if i said anything me and him woulda been at logger heads AGAIN over you!

I understand shes your grandchild but c'mon! shes my baby and im not a local babysitter who you are paying to looking after the little one while you pull the strings! im her mother, back offfff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stop overlooking me, what i need / feel / want!!

urghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 

[sethsmummy]

Awww hun im sorry you have a monster in law! Sod your other half... put his mother in her place...she is your child not hers. If it were me I would get her tols, if you let her pull all the strings now and treat you like crap just so you and oh dont come to loggerheads then its going to cause much more problems in the future and I speak from experience

 

[AP]

oooh god, i remember that well. nip it in the bud - shes not a doll!

 

[lhancock90]

You need to stop it now! Nip it in the bud and make it clear, you and your OH lay down the rules. Hopefully this will set things up to be easier.

 

[Tiger22]

There is NO WAY id let this slide! You carried her for 9 months and you went into labor and had her! I would put your foot down and stop this...

 

[Flower15]

If what she is doing is causing problems between you and your OH and making you feel this way, as others have said you need to nip it in the bud now. I kept my mouth shut for ages and let my MIL take advantage and 20 months on Im still bitter. Im pregnant again and already Im panicking about going through the same experience with her. If you don't say something and put your foot down you will regret it. They arent newborns for long and you cant get that time back x

 

[Here_we_go]

Yeah, I'd be peeved too. I'd just be a really rude b**** and not let her go. Some functions would be fine on certain occasions as long as rules are followed but my inlaws know they have to ask in advance to pick my son up and the answer isn't always yes. I think they've grown to respect that since my neice is constantly being dropped off at their house. My FIL has actually had to call my SIL to pick her daughter up after a week and a half stay once!

I'm happy that at least one set of grandparents adore my children. Nothing coming from my parents. They didn't show at my children's births nor visited afterwards (well my aunt made them take her to see me for about 5-10min but that's not a visit in my book). My mother has actually come to one birthday party of my son who will be 12 this coming March and that is it. First time she's ever bought a present for him as well

 

[Bumblebeee]

Holy Sh*t, I could have written this myself!! Aside from some minor details it's exactly like my MIL! My daughter will be 1 on the 1st Nov and to this day I don't feel comfortable with her being with anyone except myself and my oh. I am forever getting stick for it, but at the end of the day, she's my baby so what I say goes. I left my job to become a sahm and I don't need to be anywhere so why would I leave the baby with her while I sit at home and twiddle my thumbs? It's got to the point now where I find myself stooping to her level and doing anything in my power to make things awkward for her but she's like a child herself so that's the only way I'm going to get it in to her head that I won't be bullied. Her oldest son had a baby when he was just 19 and the mum had bad pnd so MIL took over and raised said baby as though she was her own and I genuinely think she thought she'd be able to do the same with mine - no chance!! There is one hell of a lot of back story here but some of the most irritating is her chirping away constantly to my oh that I'd be better off in work (so I'd have no choice but to leave dd with her while I was at work) and as the village I live in only has 1 road out, which just so happens to be the same road that she lives on, she sees me passing in the car and rings me then to ask if I'd been to the house because she saw my car but didn't hear the door I swear I'm being stalked! Anyways, my rant is over lol and you just need to stand your ground (as you obviously have been already) and explain to your oh that you aren't comfortable with his mother hijacking things, like you wanting to buy her a dress. If he throws a b*tch fit, so be it, I'm lucky that my oh is pretty laid back as he knows his mother is a pain in the a*s but as your daughter, you make the rules.

 

[SleepyBaby]

lol bumble i feel for you! im so glad i dont have to pass her at all when im out and about, that whole stalking thing would be right up there street lol i can just imagine it now, sure your out and about, let us mind the baby, its not just MIL the FIL is just as bad, see they only have 1 grandchild and its my lil girl so its all go go go go go gogo go with her, i stopped them taking her this week then got guilted with " awk great granny asked us where she was when we went to see her, she loves seeing her with us on thursdays now" well so fooookkk!!! lol ly lil one is one on 29th nov

they are away on holidays for a week xmas has come early lol

 

[lanaross]

oddly enough, minus the "don't get your hopes up" comment, my MIL does the same and it doesn't bother me the slightest. So she wants to pick up her dress? you can pick up the dress for her too. The more dresses, the better! She wants to always see her, please by all means! I will just have a much needed break every now and then. I love it to be honest