2 ectopic, 1cm, 2 mc (last one from IVF) what do I do?

[eabwhab]

Hello ladies,

I think this has been the most sad Christmas I have ever had. I have recently learned that my baby stopped growing at a little over 6 weeks. I guess the poor thing never had a hb. I feel so broken, this is my fifth loss. It was a strong BFP from my first IVF (yes, one tube is gone, the other one is not good). I am heartbroken. I feel lost and don't know what to do. Shall I give up? I am 39 already. I feel so hopeless..... My fiancee says we need to stop. It does not see how we can be successful. What is wrong with me? Why don't I deserve this? Sorry for being so negative, just feeling devastated and hopeless. Still waiting to miscarry and HCG really really high. Love.

 

[grace14]

Hello ladies,

I think this has been the most sad Christmas I have ever had. I have recently learned that my baby stopped growing at a little over 6 weeks. I guess the poor thing never had a hb. I feel so broken, this is my fifth loss. It was a strong BFP from my first IVF (yes, one tube is gone, the other one is not good). I am heartbroken. I feel lost and don't know what to do. Shall I give up? I am 39 already. I feel so hopeless..... My fiancee says we need to stop. It does not see how we can be successful. What is wrong with me? Why don't I deserve this? Sorry for being so negative, just feeling devastated and hopeless. Still waiting to miscarry and HCG really really high. Love.

Wow, you have been through a lot- I'm so sorry! Don't give up hope! Have you had testing for anticardiolipin antibodies?

 

[Dill]

I'm so sorry! Five is a lot to lose. I understand why your SO might be frustrated. That said, my sister lost 6 before she had her miracle, and then had 2 more after that, so it might be worth another couple of tries. That's ultimately between you, your SO, and your healthcare professional(s), though.

 

[eabwhab]

Thanks ladies for your replies. We might keep trying a few more times, but it kills me that I basically have to do IVF since I am at very high risk for ectopic. Moreover I am 39 already Perhaps we will feel stronger and more hopeful in a few weeks.

Grace, I did basic testing for recurrent miscarriage last year and it all came back normal. By searching online though, it seems that there are more spcific tests one can do. Once my body finally decides to miscarry I will ask for genetic testing. I really need some answers.

Dill, did they find the reason why your sister had so many losses?

 

[Dill]

eabwhab, the women of my family suffer from a connective tissue disorder that makes bearing to term very difficult, and she was quite young for several of the MCs, so that was also a factor.

 

[eabwhab]

eabwhab, the women of my family suffer from a connective tissue disorder that makes bearing to term very difficult, and she was quite young for several of the MCs, so that was also a factor.

Thank you Dill. I would be grateful to have one baby!

 

[Dill]

She never thought she'd manage to bear to term, and now she's got three! I know I'm hoping I can succeed, since she managed to (and my mother did, obviously). I've lost a few, myself, so we'll see.

 

[eabwhab]

She never thought she'd manage to bear to term, and now she's got three! I know I'm hoping I can succeed, since she managed to (and my mother did, obviously). I've lost a few, myself, so we'll see.

I think you have excellent chances to be successful considering both your sis and mom have! Is this a immune-type disorder? If yes I have read that enzyme therapy can help.

 

[Dill]

No, it's not, it's strictly a genetic connective tissue thing. No auto-immune issue like RA or Lupus. I've already lost more than my mom did, and I'm getting a much later start than either of them, so it is something that I worry about quite a bit, particularly with my disaster of a MC and D&C in the fall. Praying I didn't get Asherman's on top of everything else, since I scar so easily and take a very long time to heal.

 

[eabwhab]

I think the enzyme therapy I was mentioning can help with scar tissue too. In fact I am going to start it (along with castor oil packs) with the hope of getting rid of scar tissue resulted from my ectopic removal via laparoscopy. I read that it helps removing scar tissue from the uterus as well. Here is the link in case you are interested: https://natural-fertility-info.com/fertility-enzyme-therapy/comment-page-1#comment-58386

How many losses have you had? I know it is hard to keep being hopeful, but you will get there, be strong! Is there anything you can take to help you keep the pregnancy?

 

[Dill]

Interesting! I've never heard of that product, but I'll have to look into it further when I've got a little more time.

3 that I know of for sure, and 1 strong suspicion (never went in to get tested, but I spotted and then had my water break - doc thought it was a vaginal cyst, but looking back on it, it was very similar to my most recent MC).

 

[eabwhab]

sorry about all your losses. I wish you all the best. I am looking forward to start the enzyme therapy. But I guess I will wait to miscarry first. Hopefully soon.