20 month old still doesn't slee through the night

[star25]

Hi all

Just after some advice if anyone had any please!

My dd has never slept through the night on a regular basis, now and again she might do it 2-4 nights in a row then that will be it for months

She's always been cuddled/rocked to sleep and I can't ever see her settling herself to slee anytime soon!

She wakes 1/2 times a night and always wants milk. I give her 3oz and she generally goes back to sleep quick.

The problem is, when I go to put her back in her cot she instantly wakes up and cries and doesn't stop shouting mummy until I go back in, pick her up and she falls asleep again and we do it all over again until eventually settles which can take an hour
Last night dh took over after an hr (he had been at work til 2am otherwise he would have helped sooner) soon as he put her down she stated and slept for another hour until 6am

She goes to bed 7-7:30 and normally up by 6am, sometimes 5:30am

Naps for about 60-90mins late morning

If she doesn't nap or goes to bed later it doesn't make a difference

I've got number 2 due in Feb and don't know how I will cope with the lack of sleep!

I don't think I can let her cry, dh has. But so needs to sleep and he gets up to help every night but it isn't ideal when I'm not working
If I let her cry she will end up hysterical

I just don't know what to do! Thank you for reading

Sorry it was so long

 

[WackyMumof2]

Have you tried white noise/lullaby and a star projection thing? Something peaceful to listen too and watch until she falls asleep. Does she have a favorite toy/blankey/pacifier to help with soothing her back to sleep?

I can't help but wonder if this has something to do with Mum knows she will give her a bottle and rock her back to sleep. For her, it's normal - and for you, hard. We had similiar issues with our first baby. Offer her warm water and don't rock her to sleep. She needs to self-sooth. That's hard for you and her. I get it. But she will pick it up and she will be happy and content. Hopefully you figure something out for you both.

 

[star25]

Thank you, we have a light projector from when she was a baby so I'll get that back out and try

I've definitely 'made a rod for my own back' (I hate that Saying lol) by always rocking her to sleep and holding her a lot. Even as a newborn she never wanted to go down and it's just got harder, she's very wilful!

I agree, she does need to self settle, doesn't have a pacifier or favourite toy but I will try with putting her to bed awake and see how we go, fingers crossed!

 

[WackyMumof2]

First week is always the hardest. And as parents, this is something we learn. Fingers crossed you are both sleeping better by the end of the week.

 

[loeylo]

She doesn't need a bottle through the night either. My dd gets water if she's up. It's boring so she rarely asks.

My dd was out a cot by 15 months and slept far better when we took the sides off. I sat beside her on her bed until she fell asleep. She still needs that now, and she's 21m.

 

[pa2k84]

I would say stop the milk, she does not NEED it anymore it has just become a comfort. Try switching to water during the night, may take longer to settle but hopefully in the long run she will stop waking as not getting what she wants.

 

[Rainbow82]

Sounds similar to my DS in that even now at 26 months he still needs cuddling to sleep. We moved him to a toddler bed which helped as it was easier to put him down asleep than reaching down to put him in the cot so less chance of waking up. Switching to water in the night also helps, we put it where he can reach it with a spare dummy in the pocket of his bed guard and he's much better at settling himself back if he wakes in the night now. Sadly still gets up between 4 and 5 for the day though. He's also occasionally started to fall asleep on his own if we put him down drowsy at night too so your LO might not be as far off that as you think.

 

[MindUtopia]

I wouldn't be offering her milk during the night even if she asks, but otherwise I think what you're describing sounds perfectly normal for 20 months. Mine didn't STTN more than a one off night here and there until 3.5. I found that co-sleeping made a huge difference in how much sleep we got, but if you don't want to do that, then I think she just have to be consistent and keep doing what you're doing. I don't think there's any magic solution other than them just growing out of it. I don't think the milk is helping any at this point, so I wouldn't continue it, but other than that unfortunately, I think it's mostly just riding it out and taking turns so that you both get enough sleep even on a rough night. You might find at this age that being in a bed rather than a cot makes it easier to put her back to sleep (less painful to bend over to soothe her and put her in and out gently without waking her too much), but that would really be the only other thing I'd suggest. Otherwise, cuddles until she's sleepy and back to bed worked for us. They do eventually settle themselves on their own, but I don't think there's any point in forcing it.

 

[star25]

Thank you for the help ladies, think I'm going to start being trying to get her to settle herself when first going to bed so I'll sit next to the cot when she's drowsy until she falls asleep, we've just got her a toddler bed so might start using that earlier than planned, also stopping the milk and hopefully settling herself going to bed will help in the long run through the night !

 

[Eleanor ace]

I would recommend stopping the milk, even though I'm a massive hypocrite because my nearly 2 year old wakes several times a night for milk; I'm too tired to face stopping the milk but I know I should! My DD1 was terrible for waking at night, when I was pregnant with my 3rd she was up every 45 minutes-1 hour and I was pretty scared about how bad the sleep deprivation would be with a newborn thrown into the mix. We ended up stopping milk at night which helped somewhat. When number 3 was born my awful sleeper decided she didn't need to wake up anymore; literally started sleeping through the day her sister was born (she was 2yrs 4 months old) and is an awesome sleeper now!

 

[star25]

Eleanor, it's so hard isn't it, I think sometimes I will jusnot have to see it through and hope for the best lol
Last night she had 2oz in the night then within 10 mins was back in her cot which was a relief , she woke up an hour later (isn't normally that bad!) and kept asking for milk but didn't get it and she went back to sleep for another 4 3 hours and from 4:30am was restless but dh got up and managed to settle her half an hr later
I think it's just hard when you're that tired at night and you know milk will settle them quicker but in the long run we're not helping ourselves haha
I'm glad you're dd started sleeping through, my dd has 6 months before new baby arrives!

 

[loeylo]

I also remember my daughters sleep got noticeably worse around that age. It's still not improved any and sometimes she still needs a bottle. It coincided with the later nights.

Yesterday she went down at 7:30pm, woke up at 12:30am, I had to go settle her (no bottle) in her bed. Took about 10 minutes or so. Then she woke up at 5am and had an almighty temper tantrum, we had to give her a bottle to settle her for the sake of the neighbours. She slept until 9:45 this morning!

 

[Ashley1012]

My almost three year old STILL doesn't sleep through the night! His 10 month old brother is a better sleeper than he is. He's up all hours screaming for his daddy or grandma. Our solution is to move the baby in his own room and have my eldest sleep with me.

We've tried everything! LOL

 

[Bevziibubble]

My 5 year old doesn't sleep through the night. However, she is a lot better than she used to be. She generally needs someone next to her to fall asleep and she will wake once or twice in the night but is easily resettled again. My 18 month old is a terrible sleeper and wakes many times a night!

 

[star25]

I'm scared for the next few years haha! She's now waking twice a night, used to be 1 but it can vary, think we just have to go with it and hope she grows out of it, thank you ladies