20 year gap between births- still easier the second time?

[qe76]

I've read that the second child is usually a faster labor and delivery but what if there is a 20 year gap between the two? Will the second delivery still be possibly faster and easier?

With my first I started labor on a Sunday and didn't have him till Tue! I was induced- had to be cut down there so I wouldn't tear.... it was really hard! I lost alot of blood- ran a fever.. Im just grasping at straws here that maybe I have a chance that this time around won't be so bad!!

 

[Jencocoa]

It all just depends. I am not sure how the gap will affect it, but my first two are five years apart and the second was much longer and harder. He had some issues and that is why. If he had been a normal pregnancy perhaps it would have been easier…

 

[Cyan]

I had an 11yr gap between first and second babies. My first labour was around 7 hours total, 2 hours pushing and venteuse assistance in the end. 2nd degree tearing which needed stitches and it took a good few weeks to heal.

With my second the labour was only painful contractions for 3 hours (but still very manageable, I was ok enough to turn down pain relief other than some gas and air), and she came out 'like a rifle round' according to her dad! One big push, maybe a minute or so. No tears or grazes and no soreness after just a day or so.

So yes, for me the second was soooooo much easier. That said I laboured mostly on my back with the first and remained standing/active with the second. I pushed and delivered on my back with the first; on my knees with the second. I also had a lot more mental strength with the second; steely determination that I was going to do it well, calmly, safely and as fast as possible! I was frightened by the pain the first time but empowered by it the second.

Stay positive, try not to be scared, relax through the contractions and trust your body and if at all possible stay upright! You'll be fine.

 

[Mrsb3]

Mine was a 13 year gap and it was like having my first all over again 16 hours start to Finnish for both. Only difference was my waters broke with my 2nd.

 

[qe76]

Do they give you an option to be on your knees? I want to try that- Use gravity to get the baby out lol I was in bed the whole time too with the first- I am going to try to walk around and such- I was told there will be a shower in the room and I want to use water therapy also- I have bad and frequent kidney stones and Im use to using a warm shower for pain.
The stones I have passed were way worse then labor so i am hoping that the birth wont seem so bad in comparison lol.

 

[Cyan]

I'm in the UK and here we're very much encouraged to labour upright if possible, lots of delivery rooms have big wedge shaped cushion things to lean over/on while you're on your knees.

Honestly I can't recommend it enough based on my own experience. My daughter was back to back throughout almost all of the third trimester, including the labour. I didn't get any of that awful back pain and she turned in her own as she started descending down the birth canal. That felt weird but not really painful.

I still (4 months later) get happy, proud tears when I think about her birth, it was so wonderful, especially compared to my first. Fight for your knee rights!