2021 GD support thread.

Discussion in 'Gender Disappointment' started by motherofboys, Feb 12, 2021.

  1. jellybeanxx

    jellybeanxx TTC #4

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    :hugs:
    That’s a lot for you to take in! I think it’s okay to have mixed feelings like that, wanting a girl doesn’t mean you want or love your boys any less!
     
    cheerios and koj518 like this.
  2. Bevziibubble

    Bevziibubble Well-Known Member
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  3. motherofboys

    motherofboys Well-Known Member

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    I completely agree with Jellybean. I always say I wouldn't swap my boys for girls, I just wish there had been a girl in there as well.
    Your feelings are completely valid. Hugs
     
    cheerios and jellybeanxx like this.
  4. jellybeanxx

    jellybeanxx TTC #4

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    How’s everyone getting on?
    I’m struggling at the moment, so worried I won’t get pregnant again never mind actually manage to get my girl. I’m overwhelmed by all the swaying advice. I just wish I knew what was going to happen. All the unknown of it is so hard.
     
  5. motherofboys

    motherofboys Well-Known Member

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    I'm terrible for wanting to know. I wish someone could tell me 100% whether I'll get a girl or not eventually. I have the same fears over whether or not I'll even fall pregnant again let along get a girl. The last 2 pregnancies I managed to convince myself I'd get girls because I had waited so long and tried so hard and that a girl would be my reward to make it all "worth it". Of course my boys were totally worth the wait and I wouldn't change them now. Still it would be nice to know one way or another. If I could see the future and see there wasn't another baby in it for me then I could just give up on trying and look forward to life with my boys.
     
  6. jellybeanxx

    jellybeanxx TTC #4

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    That’s exactly it. EXACTLY!
    I’m so sorry you’re going through all this too but it’s good that someone gets it. I don’t know how to resolve any of this, the double whammy of struggling TTC with desperately wanting a girl.
     
  7. motherofboys

    motherofboys Well-Known Member

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    It is a hard line to walk because you feel like you should just be grateful to get a baby out of it and then you're all like "it's the wrong model" :haha:
     
  8. jellybeanxx

    jellybeanxx TTC #4

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    :haha:
    When I was TTC DS3 I started off trying because I wanted a girl but then after 2 years I remember thinking I didn’t care anymore, I just wanted another baby!
    That’s not to say I’m only wanting more because I want a girl but the sex of the baby became less important over time. I definitely wish I could just know and then make my peace with what the future had in store for me.
     
  9. motherofboys

    motherofboys Well-Known Member

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    I know just what you mean. If I didn't think I could handle hearing boy again I don't think I could even try, a girl is definitely the incentive but not the only reason.
     
  10. jellybeanxx

    jellybeanxx TTC #4

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    I think that if I knew I only wanted a girl, I wouldn’t be able to try for another. I adore my boys and would have loads of them but I’d just quite like a girl in that mix!
     
  11. motherofboys

    motherofboys Well-Known Member

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    Yes! That's just it.
     
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  12. jellybeanxx

    jellybeanxx TTC #4

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    Just thought I’d drop by and see how everyone still around was doing?
    We’re still TTC, it’s not going well and I’m still obsessing over swaying and getting overwhelmed and confused by it all!
    I want to take soy isoflavones because they worked first cycle last time around but worried they’ll sway boy? I’ve bought some anyway and turns out they contain royal jelly so now worrying that’ll harm my attempts too :haha:
    Meanwhile, my 40th birthday is looming on the horizon next year and I’m feeling the pressure!
     
  13. motherofboys

    motherofboys Well-Known Member

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    Hey! I'm half here. I have a trip next August with ds2 to Rome so obviously don't want to be about to give birth/leaving a new born, so we've had to take a break. I go back and forth on the swaying. For what it's worth I asked a bunch of questions in Gender Dreaming when we started ttc again after ds5 and was told that they now believed the other stuff wasn't *that* important. Diet and exercise are the main swaying factors. So I'm hoping that as I started work last year for the first time in a long time and it's naturally increased my movement and changed my eating pattern that it'll help.
     
  14. jellybeanxx

    jellybeanxx TTC #4

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    I think the diet and exercise parts are the hardest for me! :haha:
    I’m trying to gradually improve it towards a better sway but I’m such a comfort eater!
     
  15. motherofboys

    motherofboys Well-Known Member

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    I used to eat all day :haha: in our old house because it was so old the kitchen and the bathroom had been added on later so you had to pass through the kitchen to get to the bathroom and the cupboard where the washing machine was, and out to the back garden, and every time I went through I'd eat something :haha:
     
  16. cheerios

    cheerios Baking last baby #5

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    Hi ladies
    May I join? I have 3 boys and my 4th is a girl. I TOTALLY get all the feelings of wanting a girl and yet loving your boys all the same! I experienced GD with my 3rd boy and all that guilt for even feeling GD! It was mainly the fact that all my symptoms pointed to a girl, so I was honestly surprised baby's a boy. I found out at the 12 week scan, so that was very early in the pregnancy too. Oh and all those unwanted comments of "You poor thing!", "what a pity!" Argh.

    I was more thankful that baby is healthy because I had a scare that one of the markers felt off, so the doctor sent me for a detailed scan at the hospital. Got me so panicky. We also wanted to stop at 3, so we didn't expect that we would "only" get babies of one gender.

    My 4th baby turned out to be a girl but I have absolutely no idea how!! The only thing is, my 2nd boy came to me and said he really wants a baby sister. I told him its not within my control so he had to pray. And pray he did! I guess his faith was stronger than mine. I was still so scared to try. My heart would love to have a girl but I was so scared we would get another boy. Like you ladies would know, it's not that I don't like boys but I already have 3!

    We would actively prevent conception by using the pull-out method during my fertile period. And one day, DH just came inside me (without any warning). I was shell-shocked. He said he's open to have another one and if I get pregnant on that one try, then its also God's plans for us. And I did get pregnant! And baby turned out to be a girl! Sooo, that's my story.

    Fast-forward 4 years and I keep wondering if we should try another for baby girl to have a sister. And I'm edging towards the big 40 (I turn 40 1 week before Christmas). Have been TTCing for the whole year and only got pregnant once that I miscarried (Aug 2022). And I still don't know when or if I can get pregnant anymore. At the beginning, I tried to sway by having sex only before ovulation and stopping as soon as I got any ovulation signs. Obviously it didn't work. And now I don't care about swaying anymore. If my date is any good to go by, I think I did conceive my only girl around ovulation anyway.

    Just wanted to say I TOTALLY understand where you ladies are coming from. Gender disappointment is real. It doesn't make us bad moms. It just makes us human.
     
  17. cheerios

    cheerios Baking last baby #5

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    Omg me too! Argh! I do keep active, but it does get harder when cold weather sets in!
     
  18. motherofboys

    motherofboys Well-Known Member

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    Hey, that's so great that you got a girl, it's really interesting to hear people's stories.
     

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