2021 GD support thread.

I thought it might be nice to have an on going thread where we could all get to know each other and chat. I find I dont spend a lot of time in the forum itself these days so don't see new posts but would see that people had replied to a thread.
Back when I first joined the group and found this section there used to be a similar post though I think it was mostly aimed at ttc. I've called this a support thread in order to include everyone. Even those who do not have GD but are understanding of the fact that people do struggle with this.

So, I'll start by introducing myself. I'm Kay, I have 5 boys. I wanted a bigger family anyway, and wanted at least 2 boys to begin with. I wasn't worried about the middle, and wanted to finish with a boy. I assumed there would be a girl in there somewhere. It wasn't really until after we found out number 3 was a boy that I started to feel it was time for a girl. I had really bad GD with number 4, but was prepared for number 5 to be a boy and just had a few bad days. He was supposed to be our last but dh has agreed to one more. I'm fully expecting another boy. I simply can not picture a girl when I think about another baby. But I want a baby still, even with that image in my head, so we are going for it.

 

I can imagine, things are definitely a lot calmer now tan they used to be when my older 4 were all little
I think my biggest problem with ds4 was because I couldn't see a 4th boy, I could only see a girl, I mean who the hell has 4 boys right? Me apparently but with ds5 I was much more realistic. I obviously hoped for a girl but was not at all surprised when they said boy. I'd say that that's definitely a key factor.

 

I'm sure that when I do get pregnant and ho for that scan and they inevitably say boy I will have a little moment. The next one is absolutely the last. But I hope it'll be the same as last time where I'm prepared and get over it quickly.

 

Hey welcome. I also took a long time to get pregnant the last couple of times so I worry about it never happening again too. I gave myself a year, that's rapidly running out.
I totally get what to mean. Its weird because I am not close to my mum, my brothers are. Dh and his brother are close to their mum, but his sister isn't. And still I worry that I won't be close to the boys or their kids when they are older. At the moment when I'm not drowning in gender desire I know how their gender makes no difference, its the relationship we build now that matters and will dictate how they relate to us as adults, but when I watch my friends saying how close their are to their mums I feel like I'm missing something.
I keep trying gender swaying then my heart isn't in it because I just don't believe its possible for me, so I give up, then panic that maybe I should be doing it or I'll regret it so start again.

 

Emotions definitely do not follow logic

 

It is definitely much better for me than it once was but like you say there's still that pang

 

I think it's an individual thing. I know there was a lady in here a couple of years ago who didn't find out with her third and by the time she gave birth she just wanted to meet her baby and didn't care. I was determined I wasn't going to find out with my 5th and that it would all be fine, I had this picture of being handed a baby and bonding and then checking gender, but we changed our mind and found out. To be honest for me it was the right decision because I had a really bad birth and I think had I gone through that still hoping for a girl it might have set me right off when I was handed a boy.
My worst gd was with ds4 and I even though I still wanted a girl by the time he arrived, I had sorted my head out to welcome a boy.

 

Awww this is what I had pictured when I wanted to wait. My other births had all gone so well and I imagined almost exactly as you're describing, falling in love and then finding out. Unfortunately he got himself in a weird position, he was back to back but also tilted his head back so his forehead was trying to come first. It was my longest most painful labour and needed forceps when they finally realised something wasn't right (I tried to tell them but what would I know about giving birth hahaha)
Sometimes I still toy with the idea of not finding out but I always feel like I want to know before we announce so I don't get all those "this is absolutely a girl, such a girly nub" guesses or "knowing you it'll just be another boy, I'll bet it's another boy, god imagine having 6 boys" comments. At least if I know then I can preempt it all.

 

Yes, ds5 was born in April so we didn't get that benefit haha but I had to say that after the rubbish time I had and then being ill after he was born, I was grateful we couldn't have visitors I'm looking forward to everything gradually lifting though as there are still family members and my best friend yet to meet him.

 

I'm having a really bad day. Ds5 is just moaning constantly. Dh is home and thinks he's helping but he's really not. AF is in town. I feel like I'm just not going to get pregnant again. We agreed to ttc until July so time is running out. I've been feeling absolutely fine about the idea of a 6th boy for months now, since we started ttc really, but now that I'm worrying I won't get pregnant at all it brings home the fact that there's not going to be a girl, and that's really hurting again.