Well I think I got it, he goes for the vasectomy and doesn't tell his family. What they don't know doesn't hurt!!
Sorry, I don't mean to undermine the issue. I don't know how much your OH and you have spoken about it, weighted all different options and compromised, but from what you write, it seems to be very one-sided. He isn't prepared to use condoms because of loss of feelings, and not prepared to have a vasectomy because of what his family might think. Surely at 35 he should care more about the effect a sterilisation might have on you than what his parents think of his manhood.
Have you discussed in length your concerns about pumping your body full of drugs? What are your concerns exactly. Most women will be on the pill for most of their lives and are just fine with it. They are some cancers you are actually less likely to get if you've been on the pill for many years (I think it cervical cancer, but not certain). I have to take antihistamines every single day, have done for 15 years now, and it is unlikely to change. The prospect did scare me at some stage, especially when I continued with the agreement of my GP whilst I was pregnant, but my GP reassured me that it is not because you take certain drugs long term that it does your body any harm. You can do a lot more damage by taking pain killers for just a few weeks.
I am playing devils advocate because I feel so useless when I have a mum in tears on the phone telling me how they wished someone had made them think harder when they took the decision to go with it, so feel a bit a duty to do that. In the end, it is your decision and yours only, just maybe don't rush with it, give yourself a bit longer and try to see about speaking with women who did go with it at a young age and see how it has affected them, positively or/and not.
