2nd baby - get it over with or wait for a larger gap?!!!

[mrs_rj]

i'm very much in 2 minds and was just wondering what other people's thoughts were about second babies. we definately want 2 little ones, but the thought of going through all the baby stuff (night feeds, colic etc etc) just doesn't appeal!!! which makes me think it's best to have the 2 babies close together and get it all out the way and then enjoy the 2 growing up together? but how hard must it be to be pregnant with a baby under 1 year old and then raising 2 under 2 years old?! is it worth getting through those couple of years of hard work or is it best to wait until the first is at school and then start over again with another baby? just after opinions and experiences really! xxx

 

[MrsSyd]

Hi!
I'm planning on having my second quite close to Erin. I'm sure it'll be hard work, but i guess you just have to get on with it. One of my friends has left it, and her LO's now 3, and the trouble is he's getting easier to deal with, so for her the thought of going through the whole baby thing again is not a good one!
I like the idea of getting the baby phase out the way, so they can grow up together, hopefully get easier together, play with each other, and hopefully have more in common with each other, as they'll be close in age.

 

[babyblog]

It's a hard one isn't it. I think the pro's would be-having your children close in age may mean they get on better, the older one may not be as jealous when number 2 comes along as they didn't have too long on their own with you, getting the sleepless nights and nappies out of the way, and being off for maternity leave again so the older one gets you for longer.

Cons would be-being heavily pregnant and not being able to rest, harder work for your body if getting pregnant very quickly again, needing double pushchairs etc, having all the baby years done and dusted and knowing you won't have it again (if you plan on having just 2).

 

[luckyme225]

There are pros and cons for any age gap. I think you have to pick what is best for your particular life style. I couldn't have children too close together because I love to travel and I am seriously cranky without an OK nights sleep. I would have ideally had my kids 2.7- 3 years apart but now it's looking like it will be more like 4 years apart due to medical issues in my little guy that have just came up.

 

[minnie83]

we've had a really good think about it, and we've decided to wait until LO is about to start school before ttc again. I honestly don't think I could manage 2 at once, I've no idea how people do it! I don't mind them being a few years apart, being closer in age doesn't necessarily mean they'll get on better, there's only 18 months between my sisters and they never stopped fighting when they were younger. But on the other hand I am getting very broody lately!

 

[eeyore2911]

think it is different for everyone! No useful advice from me then.... my son is almost six and we are only contemplating no 2- many things esp work in the way in mean time... but although some people look at me in absolute horror when I suggest a gap of six- seven years I look at the plus side- I will be able to totally devote my time to one baby again rather than split time between two.. DS is old enough to understand and help, he is at school so nursery fees are less, there will be less competition for my time as they will be in different stages until adulthood, less expense as stuff can be passed down.... and many more! I have got used to people looking at me like I'm a weirdo or something when I say I have one child of almost six but I don' judge people who have small gaps and I think you should go with what works for you!

 

[landincris]

My daughter are 2 yrs 4 months apart and i feel this was perfect! Know im debating 5 yrs after if i should have another!!!

 

[Noodles]

People cope. Just think before you had this one, how much work you thought babies were, the no sleeping, feeding, changing, winding, colic, teething etc and although it is hard work, you cope. It will be the same with number two, you will wonder how you will ever manage but you will manage!

 

[Eternal]

its different for everyone, i want to be pregnant now and may baby isnt even 5 months lol! but that would be some peoples worse nightmare lol!

 

[Danuta]

My LO is 7 months now and I definitely want to have no. 2 soon! If they are close in age I hope they would be really good friends (expecially if it's another girl!)
I will have to have my 2nd by C-section though, which I really hate

 

[Eternal]

My LO is 7 months now and I definitely want to have no. 2 soon! If they are close in age I hope they would be really good friends (expecially if it's another girl!)
I will have to have my 2nd by C-section though, which I really hate

how come? did you have c-section first time? could be try for a VBAC?

 

[Danuta]

My LO is 7 months now and I definitely want to have no. 2 soon! If they are close in age I hope they would be really good friends (expecially if it's another girl!)
I will have to have my 2nd by C-section though, which I really hate

how come? did you have c-section first time? could be try for a VBAC?

No, first time I had a normal birth but since late pregnancy and post-partum I've had very very bad bladder control probs (sorry, very embarassing and tmi I know!). I'm now on bladder control meds and have had an operation to fix the muscles (which was the only possibility) but any future delivery will have to be a C-section or the problem can just come back/get worse.