3 nearly 4 ds discipline help

[ms sunshine]

I need help big style. My son can be lovely but he is going through a horrible stage where every thing is a fight. Examples. He will say hes finished i will say eat a bit more he messes about i give him warnings in the end i have had to take his food and then he screams and screams..he didnt do this a week ago inwould warn him he might loose a cartoon but not hes took it to the next level.

He hits out kitten only lightly but still no acceptable. We tell him off explain. We told him wr would get rid.of the kitten. I did when it first happened smack his hand lightly more of a tap. I only use it in extreme circumstances but then he hit a kid in nursery so havnt sone as he copied.

Its my husband he has a problem with mainly and its causing so much problem that my hubby doesnt even want to be home he would rather be at work. I think its tomget his attenetion by any means necessary so he tells him off..i told him to play with him and do things swop the attention from bad to positive and he just wont do it hes bloody stubborn. Says the atmosphere is bad how can he be in the mood etc. He doesnt spend any time.with him at all when i explain this he says oh so its all.my fault and it causes an argument. My son has desteoyed the christmas break hes played up constantly. Im in the middle all the time because i think my son is in a phase where he says hes bad to the bone and basically wont lift a finger. I just dont know what the hell to do. I cant talk to my.mum as when ever i do she gets heart palpatations with stress.

Ive borrowed books but it doesnt cover what i need. Ive took toys naughty step doesmt work he just doesnt care he just plays there and wont come out. I have a reward chart and thats helped with some things like potty training but i dont know how that would help him with the cat or my hubby. Its such an unhappy household and it stems from my son playing up and my husband just not doing anything with him. I have just had enough and feel like a complete failure. We dont have loads of money but we worked hard to make a great christmas and every day except christmas day has been terrible

 

[lau86]

We do naughty step in this house. If it was ours I would be sending them to the naughty step for hitting. Ok it might not magically get them to behave but you are sending them a consistent message that the behaviour is not ok.
You say he is playing on the naughty step... How is he doing that? if he has access to toys take all those away and make sure he knows to just sit there.
Is your hubby his dad? I agree it sounds lik attention seeking and may or may not be due to not getting enough attention (I could give ds1 all the attention in the world and he would still attention seek). But your hubby needs to get over it and start some positive action. Your son is 3!!

 

[ms sunshine]

Thanks for the reply.

He just messes around with his hands pretends his fingers are people or whatever not with toys. He doesnt understand when he is naughty. He doesnt even see the cats as animals more like teddies.

Yeah hubby is his dad nearly impossible to.get.him to do anything with him so i know its what we argue about all the time. I just dont get a break and i feel run down. I feel.he doesnt want the responsibility. Happy to.pay for.him and pretemd to.be the best dad in the world.in public at home.nothing..doesnt.play doesnt feed him he doesnt know what time.he has his snacks what he likes to.eat. wtc i have gone out after lunch cane back at dinner and ds hasnt had a snack or drink as he didnt know what time to.give him 1 ( its been the same time since he was about 1 1/2 yrs old). Just seems he is attention seeking as hes not getting any from his dad but i cant make.his dad be interested in him. Says he wont while hes naughty but before this phase he didnt lift a finger. Sorry about typos small keyboard on phone