3 or more and work, is it possible??

[Aelyana]

We are currently wtt #3 (hoping to have more) and I wanted to ask you other ladies who are waiting how you manage It? Do you work? Are you a shm? After which kid did you stop working or start working less? How do you find your set up works?

I have two kids atm and a pretty demanding and job for four days a week. The same for my dh.

After baby 1 I felt it was manageable. Now with two I struggle. And I wonder if I shud start working less to enjoy time with los more. tho it wud be very tough in my current position if not impossible.

No doubt no 3 wud be much harder still! Iam in awe of all of you who manage three at home or w work (both have different challenges and advantages I think).

I wud absolutely prioritise having another over my career, def my big dream is to grow our family.That said I am hoping I won't have to choose? Maybe just work less for a few years? it is a big part of who I am, I worked hard to get here and I enjoy it. But some days I just want to give it all up for more cuddles and craft time with my boys.

So I am a bit worried about it all how I am gonna feel and handle things, thinking about no 3 or even 4 🙈

As things are I am tired a lot of the time, have to go home regularly when they are sick, never get everything done at work (tho I perform fine overall) and when I travel it is a lot for dh.

How do you do it? Is it much much harder still? Any advice?

Sorry that turned into a novel. feeling exhausted on my day off today and wanting to do more with the kids but just struggeling thru 😔 And yet feeling broody?! 😳😁

 

[lau86]

Hi, I'm a lurker here I'm waiting but hubby is not ha ha. I work 24 hours a week over 3 days but do more hours than that really. I have a busy job and work at home too. I've just had a year off with number 3 and am really only ready to go back now (she's sleeping a bit better etc). You just do what you have to do, of course life is very very busy but that's the way I like it. I have family who help, they rarely get ill but family would probably pick them up if needed. With my job I can't just up and leave, it would be very difficult without family.
Now ds1 is at school it's better, my dd (the baby) is lovely and I just can't imagine life without her.

 

[Reiko_ctu]

Before kids I worked 4 days a week. After my first I worked 3 days (2 weekdays and 1 weekend - needed childcare for 2 days). And now I'm going back after my 2nd and I'll be working 2 days. One weekday one weekend so we only need childcare one day and I can be home for all the older kiddos preschool activities etc. I will do the same with baby #3, 2 days. I choose to be away from my kids the bare minimum!

 

[Aelyana]

Thanks for the responses!

Haha Lau my future self can relate to you waiting but your husband not waiting. I think I may always be unofficially waiting or never be done but who knows. And dh def will be done after no 3 (maybe maybe maybe 4 - a person can dream &#128540

also the lurking here in wtt I do as well but more because I don't want to get too obsessed with being broody 🙈

Three days work with help from family sounds so nice. so good to hear it can be done! I am seriously considering going down to three. But it seems like a big step somehow. How are you feeling about going back after your little girl?

Reiko two days sounds so fab to be able to spend all that time with your kids. Has it affected your job? Are you in a different position eg?

My hesitation is a bit more longer term I guess where I worry I won't be able to pick up where I left off once kids are older. But I am increasingly feeling like I want to bite the bullet.

 

[Reiko_ctu]

That's a tough one... If you can find a workplace that's flexible enough with you I think being honest is a good plan. Like, "I want to be a good long term employee for you but in the short term I need flexibility with my family" type deal.

 

[Kazy]

I stay at home and work from home. Some days it's awesome and other days im up what seems all night working with a million loads of laundry and dishes piling in the sink. I worked 24 hours with 1 a d the. Stayed ho.e when ds2 was born. I started my own business later that year and have been working part time from home ever since.
I think if your career is important to you long term then possibly.staying part time to keep your foot in the door may be a good option. But at the same time i can't imagine you would regret staying home if that's what you really want to do. I do like having something part time so that I can break up all of the normal mommy stuff and chores. But if I had to choose work or stay at home I'd choose stay at home in a heart beat. But I know for some they really don't find that fulfilling and that's ok too.
I think you have to weigh what your finances can work with and what would really be fulfilling for you. Full time work, part time work, full time mommy, part time mommy and work they all come with the overwhelming feelings and sacrifice. So if you can do what makes you the happiest that's what will.carry you through those times. And if you are a person of faith. Well then Jesus too will carry you

 

[Eleanor ace]

I have 3 children, aged 5 (in school full time), 3.5 (in nursery 15 hours a week) and 1 (home full time). I work from home, 25 hours a week, and 6 weeks of the year I work away (I work for a summer school). It can be hard, I work around the kids so I tend to do most of my work in the evening once they're in bed and it means I go to bed quite late. But I love being able to be home with the kids.

 

[CaliDreaming]

Looking at the responses it seems that it's pretty rare for families to have 3 or more children when both parents work fulltime. Taking time off or working part time would not be an option for me because it would be extremely difficult, if not impossible, to get back into the workforce.

I work 8 hrs a day, 5 days a week, but do have a great deal of flexibility in taking time off, almost no travel, and the ability to work from home when needed.

I do know of women who do it, but they are few and far between. Maybe I need to think harder about this before we start TTC #3.

 

[Pearls18]

This is the main reason we haven't had a 3rd, I work full time and we live away from family, I think I would really struggle to give 3 children the attention they need working with our situation (especially as my husband works away a lot too) I already struggle to keep up with just DS1's home work, not to even mention the childcare costs, we can almost see the light at the end of the tunnel with that one! But I'd be lying if I said the thought doesn't sometimes pop up, but realistically I know we couldn't provide the life we'd want to give our children, or to ourselves, if we had 3 and me employment is the biggest factor in that.

 

[rsimmons]

Omg!
I an done with one only.

 

[lian_83]

I could have written that myself. I certainly like 3.. but it's just so damn hard.