31 weeks... need to air my worries

[lauralora]

hey ladies, hows everyone doing?

well here i am, 31 weeks tommorrow and still terrified if not more. I told myself in the first trimester id stop worrying when i hit 12 weeks, but i didnt! i then said it would be ok after my 20 week scan, then 24 weeks (viability) then 28 weeks... now here i am just worrying in general that somethings going to go wrong.

i really hope this is normal because im scared to death i feel this way because its some kind of psychic feeling something bad will happen. If i dont feel a movement when i first wake up my heart stops!

when i buy clothes or look at them, in the back of my mind i feel anxious

im obsessed with still birth and placenta abrubtion (i dont no why!)

when i was pregnant last year i obsessed over misscarrage for some unknown reason then i had one

so now i keep thinking well am i obsesing because im right??

i must sound like an utter head case but im just sooo worried.

does anyone else feel like this?!!

 

[Smiler13]

Hang on in there, natural to worry, is perhaps the "so near and yet so far" thing.

I am 19 weeks and still worrying, but generally managing OK and thinking of nice things for some of the time too.

As for your worries being some kind of premonition, don't think that's the case - most pregnant ladies must surely worry, and sadly in the few cases when the baby is lost it can then seem like the worries were a forewarning, when in the vast majority of cases all is well.

Best wishes for the rest of your third tri.

 

[baileybram]

Hi Hun,

I had a mmc at 14 wks on oct 07 (my 1st pregnancy) A few months later i got pregnant again and i was insane i was terrified of everything and then i did have a placental abruption with my son but i was very lucky and he is a perfectly healthy 19 month old (spent a wk in nicu though worst wk of my life ever) I quess what im trying to say is that even in the worse case scenario it can still be ok im proof of that. Im having a little girl and still im terrified that something will go wrong (u replied on a post of mine last wk regarding lack of movement and consultant appointment) the fear dosent get any easier especially as you get nearer the end as you know that if they were born especially after 37 weeks that they would be fine and you just want them out.

I think the worse part about mc or stillbirth is that you lose the innocence of pregnancy and instead of enjoying it you spend the whole time worrying i hate that as i feel ive missed out on enjoying it but at the end of the day you so quickly forget about all the worry especially when you are holding them it is just a distant memory. Nothing anyone says will stop you worrying its only natural so when you feel stressed take a deep breath and think it will soon be over and you will be holding him xxx

 

[littleblonde]

Hi hun, we have spoke before so you no that i was a big worrier. I couldnt imagine my baby being born and took that as a sign that she wouldnt be. When i was on the table having my section it suddenly dawned on me that she would be here. But up till that moment i kept imaging the worse. I no this is very easy for me to say but try and stop if you can. Concentrate on all the good things. I feel i totally wasted a very magical time and wish now that i had enjoyed it. Good luck

 

[babybel]

Totally agree with what littleblonde said, I could not imagine my daughter being here at all and took that in my head that something would go wrong and she wouldnt be here. Couldnt bring myself to buy things etc etc but here she is and three weeks on all is fine. Its natural to worry hun but try not to obsess and enjoy your pregnancy

xx

 

[OmiOmen]

I think after any type of loss it is normal to worry right until the end and from what I can tell the worrying never really stops. I had 2 MMC so they were much earlier on than I am now and I am full term now too. But I am having a c-section in 1 week and 5 days and still worry about things going wrong, I am very worried about something going wrong with the c-section itself.

I really do not think you are worrying because you are right, you are just worrying because like the others have said the innocence of pregnancy is not there.

 

[lauralora]

Thankyou all girls, it really helps to read about others going or gone through this.
do you think thats the case then? ... that some people worry really bad and sadly and unluckily things go wrong, and some people worry and it all goes ok ?
i just see myself a few months from now thinking, i new it, i new it would go wrong.
but i do have lots of positivity sometimes, today i went looking at prams and bought some clothes, so im not all doom and gloom
xx

 

[Las78]

Hun, I have the same trouble. First the worry of miscarrying, then the worrying of something being wrong at 20wk scan, then worrying about not making it to viability, then about prem labour, now about placental abruption, still birth and dying in labour - OMG it never ends. All we can do is just hang in there, try and keep positive and think we have come this far and been ok.

 

[Las78]

Just to add Littleblonde - congratulations!!! Kacey is just so beautiful, well done you x

 

[im_mi]

i think its normal to worry hun, especially if you have suffered a loss, but it sounds like you are worrying so much that it is impacting your life negatively. I think maybe you are suffering with anxiety, could you speak to your midwife about getting some proper support?

 

[bklove]

and I agree focus on the positive. Its been hard for me as well but with each week I relax a bit. We both deserve to breathe a bit and enjoy this experience!

 

[lauralora]

Thanks everyone

well i still have my anxious moments! but so far since posting this ive been doing ok, just hope i can continue to be brave, im really counting the weeks down now

xxx

 

[hayley x]

Its very natural to be worried and in a way its good cause it make's you more aware of baby's movements and also aware that things do go wrong but i'm afraid the worrying doesn't stop once baby is here! good luck xxx

 

[Samemka]

I've never experienced a loss so I hope I'm ok replying to this - I saw the thread title and wanted to see how you were feeling.

I do understand (as well as I can, having never experienced a loss) how worrying can take over your whole pregnancy. I worried tirelessly throughout my pregnancy with Emma about anything & everything. At 34 weeks I was diagnosed with obstetric cholestasis - which meant I have to be monitered bi-weekly and I ended up being induced at 37 weeks. That made me worry...yet had I not been induced, and didn't have OC, I'd have found something else to worry about!

Since having Emma, mainly through bnb I've come across so many other stories of what can go wrong, yet with this pregnancy, so far, I feel slightly calmer....trying to think that whatever is meant to happen will, no matter how much I worry.

I wish I could tell you something to make you stop worrying. The chances of anything going wrong are very slim, and I'm sure you'll have a gorgeous healthy baby. I know it doesn't help, but I'm sure you will.