33yr ttc#2 - buddies needed!!!

[happycupcake]

Oh Ladders. I'm so very sorry this isn't your fault, usually there isn't any real explanation for this, but there isn't any way this is your fault. Please be kind to yourself

 

[citrusfruit]

It's good that there are some ladies here that have been through what you are going through, I hope you can get some support from them. We are a family here and we are all hurting for you ladders. I'm so so sorry you are having to deal with this.

 

[Missy1234]

Ladders I'm so so sorry to hear that. Nothing anyone says will make you feel better and you will hate your body for letting you down. I've had 2 losses and they are the worst thing. Just rest that's all I can say your body is going through enough

 

[Daisies11]

I'm so sorry ladders. Life can be so cruel. Look after yourself. Sending hugs and thinking of you

 

[ricschick]

Ladders I am gutted to read this! I'm so sorry I no how hard it is and so very disappointing. Take care of yourself xxxxxxxx

 

[annio84]

Ladders I'm so devastated to log on and read this. I know there is nothing I can say that will change the way you feel about this but it's not anything that you did. We're all here for you if you need us.

 

[meek0104]

Ladders, I am so sorry to come back to this thread and read your post. I really do hope you take care of yourself, allow yourself to feel and grieve. As the other ladies stated, it is not your fault. I do hope that you find comfort in your sisters here at BNB and take whatever time you need to heal.

 

[ladders]

Thank you ladies, I'm absolutely heartbroken to see it just laying there was horrific, I just don't understand how could have a heartbeat then 24hours later just fall out. I can't stop thinking what if there was twins and that one failed but there's still the heartbeat one in there, I know that's stupid but iv had no bleeding since and my cervix closed again. I don't know why I'm not getting more blood iv not even had a normal period amount. I need to scan tomorrow so I can get closure because I thinking of all stupid reasons how I could still be pregnant

 

[Hopfl4bbynbr4]

I don't think it's stupid of you to hope that there's still a baby in there. I honestly would be thinking the same thing if it happened to me and I all of the sudden stopped bleeding after the baby passed. It's very well possible that you're right and there was 2 in there. I'm hoping this is the case for you even though losing one is horrible, I still hope there's another in there and is healthy. If this isn't the case and you aren't pregnant anymore we are all here for you if you feel the need to vent. I'm so sorry your having to go through this and I'm hoping that you're right. ❤❤❤

 

[happycupcake]

Ladders, what you are thinking and feeling now are what anyone would think and feel, I know I did when I lost my LO at 8 weeks. I didn't see anything because I was too scared to even look, but I still had a scan after which confirmed I had had a complete miscarriage. I had held onto hope that perhaps it was a freakishly heavy bleed and he or she was still somehow ok. And I was so angry when it was confirmed they had gone.
What you are thinking is actually perfectly reasonable because things like that do happen. I hope in your case it is something like this, but if it isn't then everyone here is here to support you through this. I know that can't fix things and make it ok, but if you want to shout, scream, talk or anything then we are all here to listen to you and try to comfort you

 

[ricschick]

Ladders I can't imagine what that must have been like, i completely understand why you would think that! It seems to of happened all very quickly ! I hope you get the answers you need tomorrow to help you move through this. Xxxx

 

[curiousowl]

Ladders, what time is your appointment today?

 

[curiousowl]

My midwife prescribed progesterone pills for me this morning. Crossing my fingers it gives me a real shot this cycle.

 

[ladders]

Had the scan and everything gone. I have some bad cramps now but they said lining thin so pretty much all done so should all settle down now. I may be silent for a while but I'll still be checking in and I'll be back with you ladies ttc shortly. I bought a plant today and buried baby underneath so I can remember just felt too important to be thrown or flushed away

Please keep talking anout where you are and how your doing etc. we are all here for the same thing to get that baby in our arms

 

[curiousowl]

Big hugs ladders. All the love to you. Take the time you need and we'll be here whenever you're ready to come back.

 

[Hopfl4bbynbr4]

I'm so sorry, Ladders. I agree with Curious. Take the time you need to grieve and take care of yourself. We'll all be here for you when your ready to come back ❤

 

[JessyG]

I am so sorry Ladders. Please do let yourself heal and take the time you need. We are always here.

 

[Sander]

Ladders I'm glad you were able to have a burial. Take all the time you need to heal - and if you need to talk we're here for you!

 

[happycupcake]

Ladders, I think what you did today was beautiful and took so much strength. This little one is precious and will always be, they will always be alive in your heart and memory. You won't ever forget them, and to a degree you will always feel some grief because how could you not? But although right now it's like a tidal wave hitting you each time, at some point in your future, not too far away, you will feel those waves start to calm. You have the strength in you to get through this devastating loss. I don't believe in 'getting over' a loss, but I do know that you will once again be happy, and you will, at some point soon, be bringing home a beautiful little baby.
I'm so sorry this little one had to leave so soon, but they will always be there comforting you as you live your life because they love you as much as you love them, and you deserve happiness

 

[Sander]

Curious - I'm glad to hear you've started with progesterone. What CD are you?

I finally got a positive OPK guys, it took until CD 24. I also had a temp dip today of about 0.3 degrees F. (Although I did have a few drinks last night so that could definitely have contributed) Hopefully though it means O is happening! We've been BD'ing every 2 days since CD14 so are starting to get tired haha