35 and over and ltttc for baby #2 for over 2.5yrs!

[Wish4another1]

Thank you ladies... I love that I can come on this website and disclose the craziest TMI and you all have no judgment
and I am so glad you all had heard of this... I very much better...
again Thank you

 

[momwithbabies]

Wish: Yep...I've totally done that as well! Part of this crazy journey, I guess.

I haven't been posting lately, but hello to everyone. I'm tired of winter, probably like most of you. I'm waiting for AF to arrive, but surprisingly, I don't have my emotional mood swings yet (knock on wood). Just feeling like she's on her way. She'll probably show up Thursday when I'm being evaluated (I'm a middle school teacher). I'm hoping she'll show up today, so I can get through the worst of it.

I'm tired of this TTC journey, and I'm becoming more and more complacent that another baby may not be in the cards. This is a good thing. I don't feel like I've dwelled on it as much. I'm so busy with work and family, so I guess the true test for me will be this summer (even though I'll still be working). I'm still rooting for you ladies as you are courageous in keeping with it. I've been waiting for 5 years, and I'm praying God is allowing me to accept what isn't meant to be.

Sorry for the long post. It feels good to get this out!

 

[WhiteOrchid24]

That's why we are here Wish!!

Momwithbabies:It's so lovely to hear from you Your post is bitter-sweet. I am so happy that you are feeling a bit more content or at least complacent with things but I so hope if you change you get what you want. TTC is a complete roller coaster and I know I have had so many ups and downs in the last 3 years so I can imagine how you feel after 5. There have been plenty of times when I have thought that it's just not meant to be and I need to make peace with that but then something will spur me on.... I think however, in fact I know, that if I still haven't got pregnant in another 2 years I will definitely give up the dream and make peace with it and enjoy what we have.... 5 years is such a long time of dealing with every aspect of TTC. That being said you just never know how you are going to feel from one month to another and who knows, hopefully one of those months you'll get that BFP if you still want it!! Please keep checking in even if just to say hello and let us know how you are

Well for me the deed is done! IUI went well. The Dr was a little confusing about DH's count because I'm sure he said it was just under 10 million (I thought he said 8) but then he said that he wasn't worried though because the volume was so good so his post-wash count was 8.8million! Anyway he was happy about that as was I as that is more than double his last SA Of course he had issues getting my cervix to open which meant a little more discomfort to me but over all it really wasn't that bad.... Like having a pap/smear test with a little stinging from the catheter and a little extra pain cause of my cervix but it was over with so quickly!

I'm so tired though and honestly feeling a little emotionally drained from the past week but I am just so relieved that I don't have to do anymore driving! 1500km in 1 week just for these appt's! I've had a little bit of mild cramping tonight but I' not sure if that's from the procedure or me ovulating... Impossible to know but for now I just have to try and forget about things and see what happens in 2 weeks! Hugs ladies

 

[Srbjbex]

Orchid - that all sounds great news....especially the sperm count! I bet you're exhausted now! Time to put your feet up and not think about the wait!

 

[tommyg]

Momwithbabes I don't blame you for becoming complacent. I've been trying for 3 years and I continue to hope that it happens again. Yes there are days when I don't believe it will happen but I'm not ready to give up. However given my age and the ever increasing age gap I'm sure I'll have hit the end of the road sometime in the next 2 years and be ready to clear my house of the small mountain of baby stuff that seems to lurk in every cupboard in every room.

 

[Mooshie]

Hi Ladies

Wish - that does sound odd! I'd never heard of something like that happening before but i do think what Tommy and WhiteOrchid have said sounds right. Hopefully it is a good old clean out and you get your BFP once you're finished with your pills.

Tommy - where are you in your 2WW? Will you test early? How are you feeling?

WhiteOrchid - Good luck with your IUI!!!! So what happens now? Is this basically your tww?

Momwithbabies - I hope AF comes ahead of your evaluation, theres nothing worse than feeling shitty when you're under pressure. And I can see why you feel the way you do about TTC too. I really hope it happens for you x

Sorry if I have missed anyone, this thread moves so fast it's hard to keep up!


AFM - I don't know what the hell is going on. After getting the 2 bfns (which i expected) I had a chat with hubby and I decided not to take the norethisterone on Friday just to wait and see what happened over the weekend and take it from there. So Friday came around and all day I had no bleeding whatsoever! It just stopped literally overnight. Saturday and sunday have been exactly the same, no bleeding atall or pain. Nothing! So I got up thinking i'm ok for today, I come into work and hey presto, i'm spotting again! It's not a lot but enough and i'm all crampy again. FFS!!!

I've phoned to get a GP appointment and they are full all frigging week so I have to wait until next Monday to see someone now.

I'll be honest, I'm not doing so great. Two friends have had their 2nd babies literally this weekend and i'm just feeling so low. I know I havn't been trying as long as some of you but I admire you all so much. I really don't know how you have done it.

I'm feeling so worn out by it all and at this point that I either need to take a break for a bit to find out health wise what is going on, or just give up altogether. It just feels like it's not meant to be.

Anyway, for this month anyway I am definitely having a break. No opks, no BD'ing at the right times and most definitely no early testing.

 

[tommyg]

Mooshie have you stopped bleeding now? I don't mean to upset you but I do wonder if you've had some sort of chemical / very early loss. Sorry to have the double whammy of births when your having a rough time.

Bex how are you doing?

Orchard fingers and toes crossed. You get that BFP and not have worry about doing all that driving again to repeat the full think.

Wish how are you doing? Have you stopped bleeding. When is your next scan to check on the cyst?

Hello to everyone else🙋


AFM Yes in the 2ww. Nope won't be testing early esp as I end up just hoping against hope that it's just too early etc.

 

[Cookie1979]

Hey ladies.

Mooshie - I was wondering how you were doing. Good news that the bleeding has pretty much stopped but not good that you started spotting and cramping. How is it today? I know how it feels when those around you have their second babies and you don't, its so fippin hard! You try and think positive, you try and stay relaxed, you do everything right and you want it so badly yet still nothing...its not fair!!! xx

Orchid - Yay to the IUI, I hope you are managing to relax abit now after all that driving. Keeping my fingers crossed for you. xx

momwithbabies - Must be extremely hard to try for that long and not get anywhere, have you tried any treatments at all? I do agree that for peace of mind and sanity there needs to be a point where you say enoughs enough, but it is so hard to say when that is. I think you will know when the time is right, and I hope you dont get to that point and a miracle happens. xx

tommy - good luck with the 2ww!!! xx

Sorry if I've missed anyone, pretty much just looking at the last page of posts as if I flip to the page before I will forget who has written what on this page...my memory isn't great lol!!

Dreamt last night that I was pregnant, had a nice pregnant belly and woke up feeling horrible as it felt so real. I've been patting myself on the back with my relaxed state due to the couple of months off ttc, but the dream has put it all to the forefront of my mind. Damn subconscious dragging up my inner feelings! I think ovulation is approaching, obviously doesn't matter as we can't try, but I do need to have an idea of when it is happening so I can get my progesterone checked. I'm going to just guess going by ewcm.

Oooh had abit of a coincidence, one of my oldest and best friends is ttc no 1, we are the same age, have been friends since we were probably 5. Anyway we've both had our first appointments with the fertility doctor, she text to say when her next is, well turns out we both have our appointments at the same hospital, on the same day and at the same time. I hope neither of us will need our second appointment, but with how things have gone so far I'm sure we both will. I feel frustrated for her, she is 35, in good health etc etc, but she is not eligible for IVF through the NHS because of her age. Even though the national guideline is 40, because our area has a limit of 34 she can't get further help. I feel really annoyed on her behalf!!

x

 

[Braven05]

Orchid fingers crossed, yay! Can't wait to hear of your bfp.

Mooshie, hugs, I know how you feel. I'm shocked at my age that there are still tons of people having babies around me. So depressing.

Hello to everyone else. Hope you're all doing well!

I'm so over winter and can't wait for it to end. Months on end of snow and cold doesn't help with the mood!

 

[WhiteOrchid24]

Thanks ladies!!

Although Braven no guarantees! I'm just keeping everything crossed that we timed it well, caught the egg and that 1 of DH's sperm can make it through!!! Mooshie, yes I am in my 2ww now.... It's going to be a long 2 weeks but I am busy so hoping it goes by quickly! Next week will by far be the hardest!

Mooshie - How are you doing? Are you still bleeding or spotting or has it stopped? I certainly hope so for your sake! I hope you get some answers from your Dr.... It definitely doesn't right at all... In the mean time sometimes it's nice to have a bit of a break. I know when you have been trying for a long time it's pretty much impossible to have a proper break since you can't avoid all the symptoms but not temping etc is always so nice! Good luck and roll on Monday and your appt!

Cookie - that is SO weird about your friend! What are the chances of your appts being at the exact same time as well!! So weird - hopefully it's a good sign and you both get your BFPs soon! I totally understand the dream thing - I've had that before as well and it is so crushing to wake up and realise it was just a dream

Braven - how are you doing? I don't blame you for being sick of the Winter! I am on the West of Canada and have been blessed with the most amazing warm temps, blue skies and sunshine this past week! It seems so odd to be like this when it's only Feb but I am taking it as I love summer or more so the sun! When I went down for my appt on Sunday I couldn't believe it but the blossom was out on so many trees!!! Crazy! I hope your snow and cold temps pass soon - it can really get you down, I know cause I've dealt with it before! Big hugs

Hi to everyone else I hope you are all well xxxx

 

[Srbjbex]

Annoying - I wrote a longish reply to this last night and it hasn't saved.. boo

In summary - I am 11dpo today and expecting AF to arrive a any point! All my normal AF signs are here so I 100% expect it t be here by the end of the day or first thing tomorrow.

Orchid - this must feel like the mother of all TWWs!! Gosh, I have absolutely everything crossed for you!

Mooshie - I am glad to hear the heavy bleeding has stopped. Anymore spotting today? I sometimes get bit of spotting day or so after my AF has stopped. I think it's just the final 'clear out'

Cookie - I think in a way that is lovely news about your friend - what a coincidence! I hope you both get your BFPs together.

Yesterday was tough. I had 2 friends round for lunch both with a toddler and a baby. They are both super stressed with the 2 and were both making comments about how they had wished they had waited for a bigger gap because they are finding it too hard. I wanted to scream at them that I wished I had what they had, but I didn't want to play down the fact that they were genuinely struggling and genuinely upset. I feel like it's only you guys that I can really talk to about my emotions about all this because only you guys truly understand!

 

[Cookie1979]

Bex - its tough being around people with 2 kids, I find I'm ok with one other mum, but more than that and I find it really hard.

AFM - The NHS have surprised me and they got me a scan and hsg for next week, only I can't make that day as I'm the only one in the office that day out of my team. So I have an ultrasound on the 18th and a hsg on the 25th. Was thinking of bringing my fertility appointment forward but then we will only have started trying again in April so thinking may aswell leave it where it is. Could give us a couple of cycles of trying before we go back.

Considering starting Acupuncture.

x

 

[tommyg]

Cookie the HSG is only meant to be done between end of period and CD12/13?

 

[Cookie1979]

Yeh I know, if my period comes when I think it will my period would have finished a 2/3 days before the hsg. Obviously will depend on when I ovulate, but I think it's imminent.

 

[momwithbabies]

Thank you for the encouraging words, ladies. I will keep checking in on you all. I'm glad my heart seems ready to move on. TTC will probably always be in the back of my mind (in my childbearing years), but it's not hurting as much.

 

[Srbjbex]

It's being unusually quiet on here today!

No update from me other than that my AF is still yet to put in an appearance.. Really surprised it's not here yet. Everytime I go to the loo I'm obsessively looking at the paper...

 

[Cookie1979]

Oh I know the feeling of being obsessed, going to be weird not having to worry about it as my af approaches...should relax me.

I think I should ovulate in a day or two, so thinking shall I book my blood test for Friday next week or wait and maybe have it the following Monday?! Decisions decisions

 

[WhiteOrchid24]

Bex could you be in with a chance this month??! We desperately need a BFP on this thread!

Tommy how are you doing? Any signs of the witch approaching or perhaps we can have 2 BFPs at the same time!! (meaning you and Bex!!)

AFM: Nothing to report here... Was having back pain/ cramps on and off yesterday and had sensitive bbs in the afternoon but that's not uncommon after o. This morning I still have a dull achey feeling down low on my right side. It's not bad but it's there. I was SO cranky yesterday and then at DS's swimming class there was a couple sitting just along from me watching their DS and they had a tiny little newborn baby with them and I seriously welled up.... I had to stop looking at the little babe cause I literally had tears in my eyes. I guess we all have bad days and yesterday was definitely one for me! Feeling better this morning - thankfully!!

 

[tommyg]

Orchard something makes me think you are in with a good shout, fingers crossed. I tell you the fertility drugs do make you more emotional than normal. Hope you are ok.

Bex are you going to test?

Mooshie did your spotting stop?

Cookie good luck. Happy dancin'

Wish how are you?

Braven how are things going?

Hope I haven't missed anybody.

AFM. Got the head and heart thing going on, heart is spotting every symptom, head tells me not to be daft!!

 

[WhiteOrchid24]

Oh Tommy I hate those heart and head cycles - they mess with you even more so than a normal month and then if the witch does arrive it makes you even more upset (or in my case annoyed with myself that I let myself believe that maybe it had happened!). Still you just never know!! I am keeping everything crossed for you and really praying this is your month!!! x