35 and over and ltttc for baby #2 for over 2.5yrs!

[Srbjbex]

Orchid - I'm 12dpo today and my luteal phase is normally 11 or 12 days long. So maybe I'm just having a slightly longer LP which is not a bad thing! I still think AF is coming though. So I wish it just would! The longer this goes on the more hope I get. I don't think I'll test just yet, I hate BFNs that much.

Tommy when do you think you will test. I'm with you on the head heart thing!

 

[WhiteOrchid24]

Bex - sorry I have totally forgotten... was your DS conceived naturally? And if so did you know at that point that DH had issues with his swimmers? I so hope you get a lovely surprise this month! I know when you have been LTTTC you pretty much write every month off but we all just need to remember that we had 1 child and so it can happen, we just don't know when!

Tommy and Bex I SO hope you get your BFPs!!!!

 

[tommyg]

Bex I'm holding off as long as possible. I have a hospital visit tomorrow and have a feeling they might test for me. Can't decide if that is a good thing or not.

 

[Srbjbex]

Orchid - yes Elliot was conceived naturally. He took 9 months of trying in total but I had a mc in that time. So had no reason to suspect any problems. We only found out about OHs swimmers relatively recently. So we have no idea if we were just extremely lucky the first time round or whether his sperm count took a massive dive! Oh, and I have high hopes for you getting a bfp too this cycle...don't forget to count yourself in the luck stakes!!

Tommy - is the hospital appt ttc related? (Sorry ive lost track) if not I doubt they would test? I think if nothing by Monday I will test but that seems an eternity away and am sure AF will be here by then!

 

[tommyg]

Hi
I'm must be completely off my tree, I've been having pangs of envy over a cow, yes a cow! I was stood doing the ironing watching what was meant to be a food program which was actually about fancy cheese and did they not show a calf being born and mum snuggling it, the thought that goes through my head - when will I get an new born to snuggle???

Hospital is to do with high iron level, I imagine they are going to want to know if I'm pregnant before they decide to start lowering it, as a baby will deplete my stores anyway.

 

[Srbjbex]

Oh dear Tommy - things must be bad if you're envious of a cow! Let us know how it goes at the hospital today especially if they do test you.

Well after yesterday's mild optimism, AF arrived his morning with bang! Keeping my fingers crossed that the rest of you get your BFP this month though!

 

[Cookie1979]

tommy - do you have haemochromatosis? That's what my mother in law has, hers is under control and shes fine, but her brothers went unnoticed for a long long time and now he has some problems, luckily my mother in law is fine despite her being well into her 50s before she realised she had it. My sister in law is a carrier, so she's just had ivf (she is in a same sex relationship and used a donor) so the donor was screened so that there is no chance of passing it on - she text yesterday to say she is pregnant. My mother in laws parents must have both been carriers. My hubby should really be tested at some point but doesn't seem interested...I dont think my father in law is a carrier though and you need 2 carriers to pass it on. He could still be a carrier though.

I do hope we have a success in this thread soon xx Fingers crossed for you all. Will you test Bex if your af doesn't arrive soon?

Need to take my boy to the doctors this afternoon as the GP wants to discuss his medication (he's asthmatic and on inhalers and tablets) and while I'm there I'm going to ask the doctor if I need to have the second rubella jab, seem to read conflicting things on the net and no one seemed 100% sure. If I can get away with one jab can start trying again next cycle and will only have missed one cycle. Will let you know what she says.

This article of fertility friend made me feel abit more positive...

https://www.fertilityfriend.com/Faqs/What-are-the-chances-of-conceiving-beyond-age-35.html

xx

 

[Wish4another1]

ladies

tommy - my husband's mother is a carrier of a disease that makes the body produce too much iron - I have no idea of the name... my husband refuses to go to the dr so I have no idea if he might have it (she swears he has the symptoms)
I hope your appointment went well today... and did they test or did you?? my FX for you!!!
and no worries about being jealous of a cow... I totally understand... I can't even bring myself to look at any baby stuff - animal or human...
bex - sorry about that stupid goodness I wish she would get lost for you... i hope her stay is short and relatively painfree...

cookie - I am hoping you do not have to get stuck again and next cycle you are back in the race for the egg!!!

orchid - hope this TWW is being kind to you... you know I got everything crossed for you and tommy (and everyone else desperate for baby #2).... x5 please!!!

AFM: still taking my pill... bleeding everyday... hasn't stopped - not even for one day... not heavy but super annoying... requires a pantyliner and sometimes tampon... WTF? it seems unfair - if I have to take this stupid pill can't I atleast be blood free... apparently not
my appt is March 10th or 11th... hopefully they will schedule surgery then and I can be done with this... I can't believe I haven't TTC since December...
good news??? yes I have some - my phone should arrive today from Poland!!!!! lets hope it still works... I get to see our new house tomorrow - taking our parents and my daughter... more pics to follow!!!

Happy Friday Ladies! Hope each of you have a super weekend!!!

 

[WhiteOrchid24]

Bex - I am so sorry the witch got you Not fair I hope you are doing something nice for yourself today....

Tommy - how did today go? Any sign of the witch or did you/they test?! So hopeful for you!!!! As for the cow.... well in all honesty I have been there before although I think it was a dog! Made me wonder - do animals suffer from infertility?!? Hopefully if they do they are blissfully unaware!! LOL

Cookie - how did the appt at the Dr's go? It would be great if you could get back to TTC!

Wish - so lovely to hear from you! I'm excited about your house!!! I hope we can find something we love that we can afford!! As for the bleeding that is so crappy!! I don't understand it at all... Have you contacted the Dr's at all to let them know that you are bleeding everyday?! It just seems so bizarre... I'm hopeful maybe it's just the cyst dissolving or something but it still seems so wrong and so horrible and frustrating for you. Sending big hugs Stay strong girl and have fun seeing your house and planning your move etc!!

AFM: Nothing to report here - slight twinges of sore bbs this morning when in the shower... I am past knowing if that is a good sign or not. I met up with a friend last night who is suffering from infertility and while it was great to talk it just made me realise how horrendous infertility is and how it takes over everything... It is just so cruel and unfair and there is no rhyme or reason to it I so hope she gets pregnant soon.... she is such a good person.

Ok well off to continue with the cleaning and organising - we are almost there!! Woo-hoo!! Happy Friday ladies

 

[tommyg]

Hi Ladies

Bex sorry the witch got you. Better luck this month

Cookie how did your DS get on with the Docs?

Wish what a nightmare you are still bleeding, would a change of pill maybe help? I'm just guessing I don't really know anything about the pill, never been on it. My hormones have always been too wonky for me to consider it.
When do you get the keys to your new house?

Orchard
Sorry to here your friend is in the same boat, is it her second too? Is your house now on the market? Hey you must be nearly in the second week of the 2WW, are you symptom spotting? Exciting times, Bex and I are both out all hopes are on you Orchard are you going to get the first BFP since Lanet's XLBPF???

AFM
Glad I'm not the only person who has had pangs of envy for animals. Orchard I did also wonder if they suffer infertility and concluded that it is more likely they do than not. However I think they are blissfully unaware of it, well they won't be POAS every month nor are they waiting for the right time to DTD LOL.

Yes its hemochromatosis, apparently 12% of the Scottish and Irish populations are carriers and I drew the short straw and inherited both dodgy genes. However Doc is happy for me to continue TTC and sees no reason not to but he is unaware of any links with infertility so I have to assume they are unrelated. They took a bundle of blood tests and will phone me next week, then they will start reducing my iron levels by taking a unit of blood a week. Its currently 270 he wants it to be 47. Joy!

Oh and the witch has just got me tonight, but I'm on holiday a week tomorrow going to play in some snow, so can't try this month however plan to keep going with my herbs and stuff since I did ovulate about 2 weeks after I started with them. Hopefully I'll have a shorter cycle than this one - 10 weeks

 

[WhiteOrchid24]

Oh Tommy... Boo..... I was SO hoping this was going to be your month. I'm glad you at least have a holiday to look forward to... that will be so nice... I could do with a holiday!

Yikes about the blood! That seems like A LOT of blood to have to give! I hope you are ok with... or at least I guess you'll get used to it! Crazy but here's hoping it really helps. Alternatively I just hoping you get preggers and that will sort it out naturally Big hugs

As for my friend, nope not secondary - they are trying and struggling for #1.... It's just so unfair. That being said I'm now having to deal with DS asking lots if I can have a baby so he can have a baby brother or sister It's so hard.... I don't even really know what to say anymore.... As for me I have to say I'm really not feeling overly optimistic... Not sure why exactly I'm just not, but I'm just trying to get on with things. I'm trying not to symptom spot but it's hard when something does pop up! (not that there has been much though!) We have an extra busy weekend so it will keep me occupied!

 

[Braven05]

Sorry to all the ladies who got AF this month. It's so not fair. This thread seriously needs a Bfp.

Hope everyone else is doing well. I'm doing alright. Still down and out about everything but not feeling quite as awful as last week. I couldn't get through a day without crying last week. I think talking to my friend, even briefly, helped. I have a phone consult set up with a fertility clinic but it won't go too far because I don't have insurance at the moment. It's so sad because just speaking to the nurse on the phone made me cry. They follow a holistic approach in conjunction with regular medicine and believe that every woman has a right to try regardless of weight, age, etc.

They also confirmed that the other doctor I saw wasn't thorough enough and treated me unfairly. What good that will do, I don't know, I still owe him $500.

Anyways, hope everyone has a good weekend.

 

[tommyg]

Braven good to hear you've found somebody willing to help. TBH I think I'd be more than tempted to send a letter to previous guy and dispute his bill.
Had he been clear on his policy of not treating ladies with a BMI over 30 you would never had made it beyond the first appointment and therefore you consider his bill fully settled. Esp as it was patently obvious that your BMI was far in excess of 30 he had a duty of professionalism / care to give you the information and not provide you with nothing but big bills and false hope.

 

[Braven05]

I want to but I don't know that it will get me anywhere. The other clinic did say that there are "other clinics out there" (there's only 2 in my city) that won't continue seeing someone if they think they won't be successful because they don't want their success rates to suffer from a failure to conceive.

 

[Cookie1979]

Tommy - that's how my mother in laws iron levels were reduced, it worked she's not needed blood taken for ages. Sorry the witch got you, hope this next cycle is your lucky cycle. By the way the cow envy really made me chuckle.

Wish - really important that your hubby gets tested because it can cause real problems is left untreated.

Orchid - tough when you have friends trying to conceive number 1, I have 2 friends trying both are going through testing...they have never said anything in particular but I know one of them thinks "well at least you have a child" infact I'm sure they both think like that...I have been trying longer than both of them and one hadn't even been trying long. Keeping my fingers crossed for you. Xxx

Brave - sorry you are feeling so bad, a clinic that follows a holistic path as well sounds good.

Afm - well my son just needs to continue as he is for now with his medication but she wants to see him again in April and if he's not had any wheezing then his inhaler can be reduced. He's had about 11 hospital visits and about 8 or 9 admittances, the longest he has stayed in is 5 nights and that was in December. In regards to me the doctor wasn't sure and said she was going to find out but thinks 2. I did some googling and 80% are immune after 1 jab so I think I will ring Monday and see if I can get a blood test to check. I have a blood test on Friday, maybe they could do both?! Ideally I want to avoid that second jab.

Meeting a friend for lunch today, she's trying for number 1 and is the friend that has her second fertility appointment on the same day and time as me.

Hope everyone has a good weekend. I just need to stop eating my emotions.

Xx

 

[tommyg]

Evening Ladies

I'm sorry you both have friends struggling with infertility. I guess the envy for people who have one is understandable but you have to work though the whole process in your mind.
The second a couple decide to try for a child they somehow "create" the baby in their minds eye in effect its soul is some how part of the family. It's in mums mind 24 hours a day, you start planning how you are going to juggle work, other children, rooms, reuse baby things, the relationship with it's sibling. Then when it doesn't happen you draw back the dream for any subsequent children that might have been considered. I certainly felt at one point I would consider a 3rd child that is completely out of the window. I'll be over the moon if baby 2 comes along.

I guess it is completely the same with primary infertility, you are dreaming of becoming a family then you draw back in the dream and start to accept that baby 2 is beyond your wildest dreams and you'll be over the moon with one baby but envious of anybody who has that one baby.
I know when I had a chat with BIL's wife, she commented on buggy envy, I needed to point out that it was double buggies that get to me and I can't avoid going places where there are LO's with baby siblings.

However primary and secondary it all hurts to have that baby who is dreamt of and in someway created as part of the family just not arrive. It is the reason why adoption agencies will not allow adoption within 1 year of fertility treatment or M/C as mummies and daddies need time to grief for the baby that didn't come.

Sorry DS is asking, I think I might be tempted to tell him something along the lines of you would like another baby but babies don't always come to order or plan.
My mum would put it that "babies are a gift from God and come in their time not yours" personally I keep God out of it. If it was down to him the ejits who get pregnant just wouldn't.

Orchard How's the packing going?

Cookie hope they get DS sorted out soon.

AFM Doing fine, more worried about how I'm going to handle juggling the hospital appointments over the next few months. Between the fertility clinic that can end up being every other day and the blood appointments and I work 3 days and have DS the other 2 days I don't want him getting passed about like a parcel.

 

[Srbjbex]

Thanks everyone. I had a nice weekend despite the witch and had a few glasses of wine to compensate!

Tommy - sorry to hear the witch got you too. She was obviously in a bad mood this month. Hope you had some wine too! And fingers crossed for a shorter cycle for you this time!

Orchid - so hopes are riding on you this month!! How does it work? Do you test yourself like normal or do you go to the clinic? What day do you have planned for testing?

Braven - sorry you are feeling down but glad you've found someone who can help. Fingers crossed things will start to turn in the right direction for you soon!

Cookie - let us know what the doc says if you do call tomorrow! Makes sense to me that they would do both tests together but then again procedures / policy I the health service don't always make sense to me!

Hi to anyone else I've missed!

 

[WhiteOrchid24]

Hi everyone!

Sorry I have been SO horribly busy in a last bid to get the house ready and thankfully we are DONE! I am so happy (and exhausted!) as it is super clean, decluttered and looking lovely! I just have a couple of small last minute things to do then it will be 110% done.... Phew.... what a chore! Clearly I need to do major "spring cleans" and decluttering more often... I have definitely learnt a valueable lesson!

So how are you all doing? Braven I know it's hard but I have to say I really do agree with Tommy regarding the last payment to your useless, has-no-right-to-call-himself-a-dr Dr. I hope you are feeling better.....there is nothing worse. Sending big hugs

Tommy - oh my goodness, your comment about the Eijits made me almost spit out my cup of tea!! So funny.... and I have to say I agree!!! I have discussed it with him (to the extent a 5 yr old might understand) explaining it doesn't always happen as planned..... blah blah blah but ultimately he just doesn't get it and just really wants a baby brother (or sister although funnily enough it's "brother" that comes up more often!!) I even tried the whole "when babies are born you can't play with them...they just eat, sleep and cry a lot" thinking it would deter him but instead he said "that's ok, I'll give the baby lots of cuddles to make him happy and feel better and I can help you with things"...... talk about breaking my heart! Anyway for now he is ok with inadequate answers!!

Good luck with the blood giving etc - sounds awful and I hate the whole juggling act... I hope you can work it out and that it doesn't last for long.

How is everyone else doing? I hope you all had a good weekend....

AFM: Well 8dpIUI and nothing really to report. I have continued to have mild crampy pain down low.... It's honestly a bit like ovulation pain so no idea what that means if anything (probably not). I can't believe I still have 1 week left before I find out but I suspect most likely I will know before based on symptoms... but maybe not.....So for now I just wait AF is due on Sunday.

to you all! x

 

[tommyg]

Orchard it wouldn't be some kind of implantation cramps, could it? Let's hope the evil one manages to go and get lost. All hopes on you and we and well over due a BFP on here. Somebody has to get it.

 

[maidenkates]

Hi everyone. I am a new poster long time reader. WhiteOrchid invited me over, thank you again hon.
Here is my tale;
I got pregnant with my beautiful daughter on month 6 of trying so I thought #2 would be faster.... But no. DH and I have been trying for a year now and went to get some tests done and found out his hernia surgery gave him an involuntary vasectomy. We are crushed. They say IVF is our best option but we can't really afford it. I am so tired of friends and family telling me to appreciate what I have because I do. I am hoping to find comfort and companionship here. THanks in advance for reading ladies and have a good day xo