Armywife
Mummy to 2 beauties
- Joined
- Jan 18, 2009
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First of all i just want to say i really don't want any patronising, pushy comments here, i just want honest, straightforward advice.
I had an horrific birth with my daughter, i was induced due to pre eclampsia and ended up having a forceps delivery which was performed incorrectly, due to this my pelvis was permanently damaged and i ended up with a 3rd (almost 4th) degree tear and a 2nd degree episiotomy AND grazing. I have nightmares about Poppy's birth and was diagnosed with pnd when she was 3 months old and ptsd when she was 8 months old. I don't remember holding her for the first time, i was so distressed and tired i didn't want to even look at her.
When i found out i was pregnant this time i was petrified, when i first saw my consultant he suggested a section straight away and i gratefully accepted. He didn't seem to want me to have a natural birth, in fact he advised against it due to my mental health from last pregnancy and my pelvic problems.
The more i look into sections the more i don't want one. I have been researching them since before i got pregnant this time so am fully informed and have been since i agreed to it. What i'm finding is i don't like the look of section births, i want to be fully aware and alert this time, sections look totally detached and i am so scared of missing that bonding experience with this baby too.
To be honest i am more scared of the hospital (particularly the ward) than i am of giving birth. I am having lots of problems with them now which is further knocking my confidence in them which is why i'm starting to consider a home birth.
Any advice or experiences would be greatly appreciated
I had an horrific birth with my daughter, i was induced due to pre eclampsia and ended up having a forceps delivery which was performed incorrectly, due to this my pelvis was permanently damaged and i ended up with a 3rd (almost 4th) degree tear and a 2nd degree episiotomy AND grazing. I have nightmares about Poppy's birth and was diagnosed with pnd when she was 3 months old and ptsd when she was 8 months old. I don't remember holding her for the first time, i was so distressed and tired i didn't want to even look at her.
When i found out i was pregnant this time i was petrified, when i first saw my consultant he suggested a section straight away and i gratefully accepted. He didn't seem to want me to have a natural birth, in fact he advised against it due to my mental health from last pregnancy and my pelvic problems.
The more i look into sections the more i don't want one. I have been researching them since before i got pregnant this time so am fully informed and have been since i agreed to it. What i'm finding is i don't like the look of section births, i want to be fully aware and alert this time, sections look totally detached and i am so scared of missing that bonding experience with this baby too.
To be honest i am more scared of the hospital (particularly the ward) than i am of giving birth. I am having lots of problems with them now which is further knocking my confidence in them which is why i'm starting to consider a home birth.
Any advice or experiences would be greatly appreciated