4 year old thief!!!

[GemM83]

Title says it all really!!!

My 4 yo started reception in September.

On a couple of occasions she has come home from school with an item in her book bag. Once a scarf, another time was a headband. When asked where ahe got them from she said "so and so gave it to me" or "so and so said I could have it as shes my best friend"

When picking her up from school today I saw her through the window and she smiled and held up her headband (not hers). As her teacher led out the kids she held up said hairband and said to one of the dads: "Is this Lily's?" He nodded and off the little girl went with her headband.

My DD then walked out with a little handbag which wasn't hers and I told her, that isn't yours give it to your teacher. The teacher in front of all the other mums and dads then said "Oh, she tried to take someones headband today too". I was absolutely mortified. I apologised profusely, told DD not to be taking things that weren't hers and walked off throughly embarrassed.

Did anyone elses LOs go through this phase?? I'm really worried I've given birth to a kleptomaniac!!!!!!!

 

[Scout]

Yes! She was late 3 or early 4 yrs old. DD took a watch from a department store. She had put it in her pants. I found it when we got to the car and, of course, we took it back in. Another time, she put a piece of candy in her pants. This time, I made her take it to the cashier and apologize for taking something that didn't belong to her. She also took something from her class at church. I swear for 6 months I was checking her clothes anytime we went anywhere. But she stopped. I think, maybe, she finally realized what stealing actually meant?? Not sure really, but she did stop and we haven't had anymore incidents. Actually, now she'll say, "mommy, we have to pay for this." I really wonder if they understand what they are doing? It seems mine did to hide it, but then again, maybe she hid it bc she knew I wouldn't get it for her, and not because she really understood she was stealing something. As I think about it, after the candy incident, I remember asking her if she could tell me why I had her apologize to the cashier and give the candy back, and she told me it was because I didn't want her to have candy. I do think it's a phase, but I knwo how upsetting it can be. I googled like a mad woman trying to find out if it was normal or if something was wrong with my child! Best to you and hopefully it's a short phase!

 

[c1403]

Just wanted to add perhaps the friend did let her borrow it?
My DD is forever swapping headbands and bows with her friends. I make her give them back a day or two later.

If it's school equipment/more serious items the the way PP dealt with it seems a good way to go.

 

[noon_child]

Kids in my Los school are forever gifting things to each other. I think they really want to show love and friendship so they swap and give and lend all the time.

However I remember "stealing" something from school once. We had a lost property box and when it was full the teacher would ask us to claim things that belonged to us. I had a "friend" who always had new toys and also had a complete disregard for other people's stuff. She'd snatch things off us and be careless with our toys getting them dirty or throwing them around (I very rarely took toys to school but some people did). I saw that she was eyeing up a toy in the lost property box and I had a very strong suspicion it didn't belong to her. I wasn't really thinking but I couldn't bear her to have one more toy on top of her ridiculous amount, and couldn't bear her treating it badly after taking it when it didn't belong to her. So I said it was mine before she had a chance. Because I was a "good girl" no-one suspected I was lying. Afterwards I felt awful because it had ended up not going back to who it belonged to, and my mum knew it wasn't mine and immediately guessed I had acquired it "illegally".

So I guess the point I'm making is that most of the time kids just have so much stuff that they quite easily give it to each other, or aren't clear about when/whether they want it back so squabble about who it belongs to at any one moment. However I think there are times when children with less money/stuff can feel overwhelmed with a sense that they are missing out and aren't the same as their friends, so they take any opportunity to fit in even if that means forcing others to "lend" them things or taking stuff that they can convince themselves has been lost and is therefore fair game. It often causes parents to desperately try to keep up with the demand to have the same as so-and-so but I actually wish the more wealthy parents would just stop letting their kids wear designer coats and take expensive toys in to school etc.

Bit long but basically I don't think it sounds like your LO is any kind of criminal!