Hello. DH and I have been ttc for 4+ years. I turn 38 this Thursday and am expecting AF on Friday. I found this forum while dong my monthly google symptom search praying its our month. I'm scared/almost certain it won't be. Ours has been categorized as unexplained infertility. We tried two IUI's about three years ago, both unsuccessful. Seems every doctor I've seen contradicts each other , so for the last two years I've been trying to focus on getting myself physically healthy and staying positive. I'm at a loss now of what more to do or try or how to get myself to accept it may not be in the cards for us. It's also been hard not knowing who to confide in about this struggle. So here I am. Any advice or thoughts would be grateful appreciated.
4+ years ttc
- Thread starter Beckycas
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Welcome! *hugs* Thanking you for being vulnerable and sharing. I'm so sorry you are experiencing the cruelty of infertility.
I don't have advice on conceiving, seeing as my dh and I are still trying for #1 after 2.5 years (trust me--I know that's nothing compared to the warriors I've found here). I'm never sure who to confide in during my struggle either; our biggest obstacle is severe mfi. Obviously, I don't want my husband blaming himself, so I hide my disappointment with arrival of each af, bfn, etc. --which has been a bit of a blessing. While I would still rather just be pregnant already, infertility gave me new perspective. I got tired of focusing on the things my body couldn't do and wanted to give thanks for its capabilities. At 30, I rode a bike for the first time since I was 10.... and I kept riding, and riding, and riding... Now, my husband and I try opting for cycling rather than our cars as much as possible. I went cliff jumping. I do hot yoga daily. I learned I'm really good at football! My strong body has taken me across the globe on all sorts of adventures and NEVER complained about my barren womb
Sure, I had engaged in all the "boring" aspects of keeping a healthy body to prepare for a baby--but I stopped taking care of me FOR ME. TL;DR: When infertility has you in a funk, treat yourself to some self care. Have fun. Go on adventure. Remember everything you CAN do. I know that still doesn't make it easy. But I hope you find more peace soon. And a positive pregnancy test!
Thank you, KateAndDust! You have such a wonderful perspective and thank you so much for sharing it with me. I needed this reminder and encouragement. I think I also have forgotten to see and find the fun in health. I love what you said about showing gratitude for what it can do. And shifting focus towards finding new passions, skills, and adventures. Thank you so much!
Dezzy P
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Becky I can 100% relate! I am 31, DH is 32 and we've been trying for 4+ years. We just got results back from his Semen Analysis which weren't promising. He goes to a urologist soon too but they can't get him in until March!!!! We have tried everything under the sun, I swear I've had him on more vitamins and supplements in the past 4 years (myself also on and off) than he has probably ever taken in his life. He's diabetic and for years after he found out (when he was 18) he didn't take care of himself so a lot of that is catching up to him now. Eye issues, foot ulcers, nerve damage, etc. He also has retrograde ejaculation which makes it a struggle. We tried at home insemination, (he also has ED so conventional sex isn't always attainable) I'd have him go in a cup when he was ready and I used a medicine syringe to insert it. Many months of that not working, We tried something new this time...We found out taking Sudafed helps with RE by closing the bladder neck and forcing his ejaculation out the way it's supposed to. So he has been taking 30mg sudafed 3x a day when I was in my fertile window, we did it every night except one day. This time I had him go in an Instead Softcup (Which I have read SO many success stories with) and put it in and I left it for the full 12 hours. I coated it with preseed first and also inserted preseed in myself before putting the softcup in. I have a really really good feeling about this month but also after getting the results of his SA back and all the disappointments we've had in the past I'm trying really hard to not get my hopes up. I try so hard to hide my disappointment too whenever AF comes...every month. I don't really have anyone to confide in either so I get it! Hence...here I am haha. Before trying this method this month I had been having a really hard time dealing with thinking it wasn't in the cards for us either :/ Hopefully you and I both can get some answers and BFP soon!!!! Sorry for the super long story!
I am sorry you are going through this. It is easier to cope with a definite reason for your inability to conceive, then with unexplained infertility. But it does not mean that you have no options. From what I have read docs usually suggest to undergo IVF (with PGS NGS or donor eggs) as the only treatment option.
