44 and TTC for first time

[l8bloomer]

I went to see my doctor and she said my chances are extremely low, virtually zero and at my age, I won't qualify for fertility treatments or IVF.

We've been trying for a couple of months, naturally, and wonder if it's a lost cause. Am we doomed to failure? Have we left it too late?

This is all new to me so I'm hoping for some advice, and guidance. Thank you.

 

[Eleonora]

There are lots of 44 year old pregnant ladies around here. I wouldn't give up unless you have a specific, insurmountable disorder (and even then, it is incredible how often miracles happen). Are you ovulating? What are your cycles like? Is your luteal phase long enough to support implantation? Will your family finances support some private fertility help? If you are new to the whole thing, it is time to start charting and learning all you can!

 

[v2007]

I have a friend who was 43 and ttc her 1st in January, she got pregnant in Feb and delivered last week so never give up.

Try the CBFM they are excellent for ttc.

V xxx

 

[truly_blessed]

It is still possible, although it will probably take you a lot longer to conceive (not necessarily true in all cases but more than likely due to your egg quality and quantity)

There are several ladies on here who have fallen pregnant at 44. although you can't get fertility treatment or IVF, you should still be able to get blood tests and sperm analysis done to check everything is ok with you both. If you haven't spoken to your GP already, I would make an appointment and ask for a referral for the tests to be done.

I'm almost 42 now and have conceived 4 times that I'm aware of as follows:

July 08 - came off birth control
Sept 09 - pregnant but ended with missed miscarriage in Nov 09
Oct 10 - pregnant but chemical
Feb 11 - pregnant but chemical
May 11 - pregnant and finally miracle baby is due in Jan 2012

I bought a clearblue fertility monitor in April 2010 and had fertility tests including a flush out of tubes to check them and uterus scan in Mar 2011. DF also started taking supplements recommended by the fertility specialist in April Mar 2011.

I do believe understanding my cycles and the whole black art of fertile periods plus the fertility tests and supplements finally helped us get to this stage which is why I recommend getting them done ASAP.

I think I buried my head in the sand for so long thinking it would just happen and didn't want to admit we may need to seek help. It was a scary time but I'm so glad we moved when we did now.

Good luck x

 

[Jax41]

L8bloomer, big hugs try not to feel disheartened....a couple of months TTC is still early days, it does happen for us 40+ girls it just takes a little longer I'm also too late for NHS IVF as well but my Dr is very nice and helpful and has referred me to an FS for help if needed, perhaps you could see a more sympathetic Dr at your practice?

There are loads of us here TTC#1 like you so please don't feel alone, have a read through the threads and come and join in the tears and laughter with us (and a little non TTC talk too!!)

 

[tigerlilly]

It's so sad that there is limited help based on age, it makes me so mad. I think the best way forwards is to take the very best care of ourselves to insure a positive out come, after all you can get a lady in her 40's with good ov reserve and a much younger women with low. Have you tried charting? My friend got pg on first try at 43! so there is always hope. good luck and keep us posted xx I'm 38 and TTC # 1.

Ps don't look for statistics online for pregnancy over 35, it's enough to send you crazy!!

 

[Garnet]

I am 43 and will be 44 when I deliver. I used Instead softcups, OPKs, preseed and little soy. I been pregnant 2 other times but I Mc.. I took Omega 3's, Q10 and prenatal pills three months prior to getting pregnant. Good luck. It took me almost a year to get pregnant prior to finding out about Instead softcups..

 

[NorthStar]

Welcome l8bloomer

The NHS won't give you fertility treatment but private clinics will treat women until at least 50, so there are other options available to you for assisted conception, and generally they have far shorter or no waiting lists.

 

[littlepeps]

An exboyfriend of mine , his mum had 4 children in her 40s, the last one at 46 !!! You go for it girl !!!

 

[l8bloomer]

thank you all so much for your encouragement. in the last few days, i have learned about softcups, preseed, omega 3s. I plan to use all of them. i am also feeling a little more optimistic.

from the info y'all gave me, i'm planning another visit to the doctor. it doesn't hurt to ask about alternatives, right?

do you think i should see a naturopath as well? i can afford a few visits.

 

[faye38]

id say invest in clear blue fertility monitor my friend got her pregnancy using this she was 43 at the time and now has a little bot good luck and don't stress xx

 

[Eleonora]

If I were you I would try to go to a private fertility clinic and at least find what they can offer you and what the prices would be. There may be simple things like progesterone supplements and more radical options like donor eggs. If you are thinking of IVF or something like that as an eventual possibility, better to learn about it now and make a decision (even if that decision is that you definitely don't want it) than to slowly arrive at that point and realize it is too late.
PS. Carla Bruni (French prime minister's wife) just had a little girl at 44!

 

[aBaby2Love]

I'm 43 and was told pretty much the same thing 9 years ago. I have still been ttc but sadly it's starting to look like the Dr's were correct. I'm NOT giving up yet though. Most IVF places will still do IVF on us "young" ladies but we must use donor eggs before they will agree to do it.

Don't give up until YOU want to or until mother nature takes away all chances.

 

[aBaby2Love]

OH yah... I know a lady who had IVF with donor egg at 49 and she now has a healthy happy 2 year old and I believe another on its way (due to IVF and donor egg as well). So it is something to think about if you can afford it.

 

[l8bloomer]

just ordered a CBFM. I'm buying preseed tomorrow. Hoping for good results soon!!

 

[truly_blessed]

that's good, it will help you understand your cycles a lot better. I used mine religiously for a good 8 months and when I realised my cycles were pretty regular and I was always ovulating sometime between day 12 and day 17, it made things a lot easier. I will say, however, I think sometimes we weren't starting early enough or were stopping too early so once you get a good idea of when your peak is, start and finish a good 3 or 4 days either side of it when you can.

 

[Butterfly67]

Hi l8bloomer, I've just turned 44 and started trying 8 months ago but no good news yet. My cycles are regular and I am ovulating so my doc thinks there is a chance so get the tests done and if all looks good then keep trying. Fingers crossed

 

[l8bloomer]

Hi l8bloomer, I've just turned 44 and started trying 8 months ago but no good news yet. My cycles are regular and I am ovulating so my doc thinks there is a chance so get the tests done and if all looks good then keep trying. Fingers crossed

Knowing that I'm not alone means so much to me. I'm seeing the doc next week to ask for a referral to a FS. Things can't happen quick enough it seems. Funny how I waited 44 years and now, I want everything to happen yesterday!!

 

[greens]

Consider your lifestyle too, ditch any cigerettes, lock the booze away, caffiene and processed foods, try to eat as wholefood and home made as possible and ditch the rubbish, fizzy drinks etc. and exercise even if a good walk.
Hard perhaps but worth it, it all helps I think it takes three months for an egg to be the one to ovulate in a cycle so I made the changes as I didn't feel confortable with a yo yo for two weeks OK to drink then not etc. as this still had the potential to impact egg quality.

 

[SabrinaKat]

Hi,

After two years of trying after a mc, I got pregnant naturally at age 43 and will give birth at age 44 in mid-February. We were a month or so away from IVF (waiting for my period to begin hormone treatments, but 'got lucky') -- I also lost weight last year, quit smoking, did acupuncture, took metformin for PCOS, found out I had underactive thyroid and take medication for it, and a variety of other small things -- it is possible!

best wishes