5 weeks - tell me the end is in sight!

[Andypanda6570]

Annnnnnnnnnd I just done an OPK and it is showing a darker line - like nearly almost positive! When I have tracked ovulation before I usually 'O' a couple of days after AF finishes so its looking good

 

[katie21188]

 

[collie_crazy]

Oh my happiness was short-lived my bleeding started again and my opks are back to no line at all

 

[MummyStobe]

Thanks girls

Its just so difficult I say its like a constant reminder but I dont need this to remind me of her - I think about her every minute of the day - but the bleeding doesnt remind me of her it reminds of losing her

I also have an overwhelming urge to be pregnant again - I need to be pregnant again its the only thing I can see that will get me through this so it feels like my body is cursing me yet again!

oh I so know what you mean...I feel like I need to be pregnant again to cope with what happened? Hard to explain to most people, but I know you guys will understand. Bleeding for so long is frustrating, I'm really hoping once my AF is finished that's the bleeding done, as I'm ready to TTC. collie_crazy I hope you get the bleeding under control very soon so you can try for your rainbow xx

This is exactly how I feel too, I was scared to tell DH how I felt because I thought he'd think I'm a bad person but the truth is I was scared to tell him because I didn't want him to tell me he isn't ready, which is exactly what he did say. Hearing him say the words hit me like a bus and I felt like I was suffering another loss. I know it's early days and I need to get all my medical appointments out of the way but the only thing that will make me feel complete is being a mummy to an earth baby. I can see where I want to get to but I can't see the road that leads me there at the moment.

I feel less of a monster now to know that I'm not the only person who feels like this.

collie_crazy sending big hugs I hope your bleeding settles down soon

 

[Nikki_d72]

Thanks girls

Its just so difficult I say its like a constant reminder but I dont need this to remind me of her - I think about her every minute of the day - but the bleeding doesnt remind me of her it reminds of losing her

I also have an overwhelming urge to be pregnant again - I need to be pregnant again its the only thing I can see that will get me through this so it feels like my body is cursing me yet again!

oh I so know what you mean...I feel like I need to be pregnant again to cope with what happened? Hard to explain to most people, but I know you guys will understand. Bleeding for so long is frustrating, I'm really hoping once my AF is finished that's the bleeding done, as I'm ready to TTC. collie_crazy I hope you get the bleeding under control very soon so you can try for your rainbow xx

This is exactly how I feel too, I was scared to tell DH how I felt because I thought he'd think I'm a bad person but the truth is I was scared to tell him because I didn't want him to tell me he isn't ready, which is exactly what he did say. Hearing him say the words hit me like a bus and I felt like I was suffering another loss. I know it's early days and I need to get all my medical appointments out of the way but the only thing that will make me feel complete is being a mummy to an earth baby. I can see where I want to get to but I can't see the road that leads me there at the moment.

I feel less of a monster now to know that I'm not the only person who feels like this.

collie_crazy sending big hugs I hope your bleeding settles down soon

You're not a monster at all, it's very natural and doesn't mean you are trying to replace the baby you lost, but your reasons for wanting a baby in the first place remain and we all know that emptiness after suffering a loss like this, it's a deep primal need to get pregnant again. I know what you mean about being scared to have the conversation with the OH. I'm sure he will come round, he maybe needs to hear what the doctors will say first, I would give him time and space and let him decide for himself. My OH originally said "never again" soon after the boys were born and died, stating that he couldn't see us all go though this again and we're not getting any younger, so the risks were greater. At the time I felt I would never risk it again either so I was terrified to broach the subject again with him for the same reasons as you. However, I did at the weekend (5 weeks after our loss) and he seems to have come to the conclusion that if we let fear rule us we may regret it. We still have our follow-up appt to do so if something major comes up at that that may effect future pregnancies then we will both have to rethink but for now it looks like we will at least give it a shot when given the all-clear.

I'm rambling a bit but what I mean to say is try not to get too down, as he is quite likely to change his mind, be gentle with him, give him time and then ask again. Ask him if the reasons you wanted this baby have changed or gone away? Ask him what his biggest fear is and if he thinks he would regret it in future if you never try again and never get to know what the outcome would have been. Hopefully the doctors wil put his mind at ease a bit, can you make sure he comes with you to your follow-up?

Best of luck xxx

Collie_crazy I hope it stops soon for you and you get onto TTC. Have you asked your doctor ar midwife about it at all? I've seen a few posts about using the progesterone mini-pill to get things back on track, would that be worth asking about?

 

[collie_crazy]

Well girls its now been 7 weeks and I'm still bleeding. Its getting beyond a joke now and has actually gotten worse these last 2 weeks than better. It is showing no sign of stopping at all.

I cant remember if I updated but a week ago today I had my 6 week check with my OB consultant and she did a swab to check for infection - there was no infection. She offered an internal scan but I said no because I couldnt face seeing that scan screen empty She said it is very unusual to bleed for so long and if it continued then they would most probably need to put me on hormones.

I am tired and lethargic all the time, cramping and feeling dizzy when I stand so I think I might be slightly anaemic now which isn't surprising with the blood loss. Sorry if this is TMI but it is very heavy, clotty and I am going through sanitary items like they are going out of fashion! I cant sleep a whole night through because I need to get up and get changed and at times it feels like I am wetting myself because of the blood flow.

I dont know what to do anymore. Its driving me insane

 

[mhazzab]

Well girls its now been 7 weeks and I'm still bleeding. Its getting beyond a joke now and has actually gotten worse these last 2 weeks than better. It is showing no sign of stopping at all.

I cant remember if I updated but a week ago today I had my 6 week check with my OB consultant and she did a swab to check for infection - there was no infection. She offered an internal scan but I said no because I couldnt face seeing that scan screen empty She said it is very unusual to bleed for so long and if it continued then they would most probably need to put me on hormones.

I am tired and lethargic all the time, cramping and feeling dizzy when I stand so I think I might be slightly anaemic now which isn't surprising with the blood loss. Sorry if this is TMI but it is very heavy, clotty and I am going through sanitary items like they are going out of fashion! I cant sleep a whole night through because I need to get up and get changed and at times it feels like I am wetting myself because of the blood flow.

I dont know what to do anymore. Its driving me insane

oh I'm really sorry you are still going through this. 12 weeks on and I still have a little bit of bleeding too, but it's not heavy at all, just spotting really, so not as bad as you but I'm still totally fed up with it. I'm getting a scan to check for any internal issue. Like you, I really don't like the thought of it, as I can't bare the thought of an empty screen, but I guess they will just turn it off (our ultrasound rooms have two screens, one for the technician that you can't see, and one for patient). I was told if no issue was found, they would probably put me on the birth control pill, which is the last thing I want!!!

I think most people have stopped bleeding by 6 weeks...but I have found several people who lasted much longer. I think we are just the unlucky ones

Are you going to go back to doctors? If it's still pretty heavy you should probably get checked out.

I'm really sorry, I know how hard this is when you want to move forward.

xxx

 

[collie_crazy]

I called my consultant but she was on call for the labour ward so I couldnt speak to her today. I left a message with her secretary and she said she would get her to call me back tomorrow. Suppose I will just need to bite the bullet and get the internal scan just to check

I really dont want to go on BCP either I want to get pregnant not prevent it

 

[Nikki_d72]

Oh hon, I hope you get it sorted out. That sounds really heavy, I think you probably should get checked, just to be on the safe side. Like Mhazzab says you could ask them to turn off the screen for you and just work from theirs. Also you may only have to be on BCP for one cycle or so? It may be the quicker way to get sorted out than not doing anything? ((hugs))

 

[mhazzab]

I called my consultant but she was on call for the labour ward so I couldnt speak to her today. I left a message with her secretary and she said she would get her to call me back tomorrow. Suppose I will just need to bite the bullet and get the internal scan just to check

I really dont want to go on BCP either I want to get pregnant not prevent it

I had mine today and it wasn't so bad, although I was a wee bit sad at first when I lay on the bed. The technician was lovely, she asked whether I wanted the screen off (I said yes) and she did a belly scan, then internal. She also did a pregnancy test to check whether I still had the hormones in my system (I didn't). I was told there is no retained product and my lining is fine, it's likely just my hormones are still not settled so I either wait for the bleeding to stop, or go on the pill I haven't quite decided what I am going to do yet. It really wasnt as bad as I was expecting.

(The idiot doctor I discussed the results with afterwards is another story...he obviously had not read my notes properly. he asked if I had children, I said no, he asked how many pregnancies I'd had, I said one. His next question? How did your first pregnancy end, did you have a termination??? I didn't know what to say but after I got out of there I was furious and wished I had said something! He was lucky I was having a good day, if he had said that to me a few weeks ago it would have been a different story)

xx

 

[Andypanda6570]

I called my consultant but she was on call for the labour ward so I couldnt speak to her today. I left a message with her secretary and she said she would get her to call me back tomorrow. Suppose I will just need to bite the bullet and get the internal scan just to check

I really dont want to go on BCP either I want to get pregnant not prevent it

I am just reading this thread update now My god I am so sorry how did I miss these posts ???? I know you are going through so much not only with yourself, I want you to know you are in my prayers and please try not to stress out so much, I know you have a lot going on, I wish I could hug you, it is going to be ok I know it. Hang on.
XOXOOXXOOX Sending so much love to you

 

[Hellylou]

I called my consultant but she was on call for the labour ward so I couldnt speak to her today. I left a message with her secretary and she said she would get her to call me back tomorrow. Suppose I will just need to bite the bullet and get the internal scan just to check

I really dont want to go on BCP either I want to get pregnant not prevent it

I had mine today and it wasn't so bad, although I was a wee bit sad at first when I lay on the bed. The technician was lovely, she asked whether I wanted the screen off (I said yes) and she did a belly scan, then internal. She also did a pregnancy test to check whether I still had the hormones in my system (I didn't). I was told there is no retained product and my lining is fine, it's likely just my hormones are still not settled so I either wait for the bleeding to stop, or go on the pill I haven't quite decided what I am going to do yet. It really wasnt as bad as I was expecting.

(The idiot doctor I discussed the results with afterwards is another story...he obviously had not read my notes properly. he asked if I had children, I said no, he asked how many pregnancies I'd had, I said one. His next question? How did your first pregnancy end, did you have a termination??? I didn't know what to say but after I got out of there I was furious and wished I had said something! He was lucky I was having a good day, if he had said that to me a few weeks ago it would have been a different story)

xx

I had a similar experience this week when they scanned to check for 'products' left behind (which there were, and I had a d&c yesterday). The sonographer said she hadn't been given much info before the scan and actually asked me this, and I quote "did a scan show you definitely had a miscarriage?"

I was shocked, and as soon as I told her I was 16 weeks, and I definitely did, she shut up, embarrassed...

 

[collie_crazy]

My scan wasn't as bad as I thought it would be either. Things are much worse when you build them up in your head. They didn't let me see the screen or anything which I'm glad about as just seeing the machine turned on was bad enough!

The doctor doing the sonogram on the other hand was another matter! She did an internal exam first with that metal strechy thing can think whats its called now and kept telling me 'you are clenching, stop clenching, stop it, I know it hurts but stop it' I wanted to whack her

And then the nurse who was in the room said 'Well I am sorry you have retained products but congratulations on your baby girl' I burst into tears. She obviously hadnt been told that we lost Emily at 17 weeks

 

[Nikki_d72]

Oh that's terrible, I'm so sorry they were so careless to not tell the nurse you had lost your baby, you poor thing. xxx

 

[Hellylou]

My scan wasn't as bad as I thought it would be either. Things are much worse when you build them up in your head. They didn't let me see the screen or anything which I'm glad about as just seeing the machine turned on was bad enough!

The doctor doing the sonogram on the other hand was another matter! She did an internal exam first with that metal strechy thing can think whats its called now and kept telling me 'you are clenching, stop clenching, stop it, I know it hurts but stop it' I wanted to whack her

And then the nurse who was in the room said 'Well I am sorry you have retained products but congratulations on your baby girl' I burst into tears. She obviously hadnt been told that we lost Emily at 17 weeks

My goodness, that is one of the worst things I have heard. You poor poor thing. Makes you wonder if anyone ever communicates with anyone in the medical profession. How could anyone be so unprofessional? I have had the midwife phone me up to ask why I missed my appointment a week after I lost my baby, and a sonographer ask if I was sure I had miscarried, but no one has actually gone as far as this awful person with you. Take good care of yourself honey, I'm thinking of you.