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[lbm2009]

i love my hubby to bits and at the present time he seems to be the reason we cannot get our bfp.

I will stand by him no matter what.

We had a conversation the other day where i asked him if the shoe was on the other foot and i was the problem how would he feel. i was shocked at his response, he says he would find it hard not to blame me and as he has always wanted kids he would find it hard to stay with me,

I feel a bit heart broken by this i will stand by him through thick and thin but im not sure he would do the same for me.

Also we have had the donor sperm talk.

He would rather adopt than have me carry another mans child. i feel hes brushing the idea off too quickly and i feel hes being selfish by not letting me ever carry a child.

does anyone else have conversations/thoughts like this, myself and my hubby are very honest with one another hes my best friend and i love him. This ltttc puts strain on any marriage which is why we are so honest with one another, i hope we fulfil our dream one day.

 

[KJM2]

Hi

We are not in the exact same situation to yourself but my husband is also the potential problem but we dont know for certain. I can only sympathise with you. When you want something so badly and when it dosnt happen (after 2 years of trying in our case) it does start to take its toll and I have no doubt it has affected our marriage. Its not that I blame him in any way its not his fault and we dont know for certain any way but I know he feels really bad and blames himself. I love him very much and we will keep trying but I am not sure I can keep going at this for much longer- it breaks ny heart.

 

[Tarkwa]

I'm not in the same boat hun, but having just explained your situation to my DH he said that he might be giving you the opportunity to leave him because of his insecurities. That might not be the case, but that is a man's opinion, I hope it helps. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this sweetie. Is there any way they can get a spermy from 'behind the scenes'? There's a lady called Flake-y who just had IVF with a sperm donor and her DH is 100% behind her (from what I can tell), but I guess everyone is different - if you sent her a message she might be able to help chick, there's lots of couples dealing with azoospermia that can give advice.
xxx

 

[lbm2009]

My doctor has suggested that they will try to get sperm from behind the scenes. Although his results were the worst she had seen. I guess I'm hoping there will be a really simple explaination. Like a blockage or that the operation wasn't done correctly.
I think I have always known there would be a problem with his sperm even before we started trying. Because of the problems he had when younger. Bless him he hates doctors.

 

[wifey29]

I'm not in the same boat hun, but having just explained your situation to my DH he said that he might be giving you the opportunity to leave him because of his insecurities.
xxx

I asked my DH and he said this too. So sorry that you are going through this. We are in a similar situation as you. My DH's count is only 1.3 million with only 1% swimming. We have been told that icsi will most likely be our route, but will find out at our appointment at the end of next month. Have you been to an ivf clinic yet? There are ways that they can retrieve sperm if he is not able to produce it the normal way.

If you ever need to talk, feel free to pm me xx

 

[cranberry987]

If youve just got the news of his SA then it might be that he needs a while for it to sink it. This may be a knee jerk reaction as hes probably quite upset and feeling imasculated. The thought of allowing another man to get you pregnant probably feels like thats compounding it.

Let him deal with the emotions of it and he may find that he can get past it and take your feelings more into account.

 

[Sophe]

give him time, it must hurt him deep inside, my dh would be the same, i think hes giving you the option to leave by saying what hes saying, i doubt he means it.

hugs to u hun xxxx i hope u will find your way through this