6 years. 6 weeks.

[Linzalora]

I have PCOS and have been TTC for 6 years. I finally got my very first BFP, only to miscarry at 6 weeks.

I keep writing more and then deleting it. I think those sentences sum it up. I feel helpless.

 

[lovemybubba]

I'm so so sorry. I don't know what else to say, except I wish you all the best for the future xx

 

[Linzalora]

Wow, it is so lonely on here now! I told all my subscribed threads that I miscarried, and they of course offered their condolences... but I don't feel right continuing to chat with them there. I don't want to be a reminder to them that miscarriage happens- I'm sure they are paranoid enough as it is. But now I have no threads! I'm already sad about my little miracle, but now I feel like my support net was cut and I really just want someone to talk to!

 

[Dollybird]

Aw I know exactly what you mean. When I miscarried my LO back in April I felt the same.. And still do. I have a couple of friends who are pregnant and I feel so guilty when I talk about my MC as I don't want them to carry any worries with them. Please don't feel isolated though, you are definitely not alone. thing will get easier eventually, although I won't lie even over two months on I still have sad days. But it's bearable now. Please vent if you need to, even if some of what you write doesn't make sense that doesn't matter. It's just important to let the hurt out xxx

 

[Linzalora]

I know there's never a good time to miscarry, but I just had to conduct a concert today in front of a full audience while feeling clots and lots of blood pass. I was hoping desperately that my pad was holding up. Also, when I conduct, the audience has to look at my backside. I was so paranoid that there would be blood leaking onto my pants for the audience's viewing pleasure. Thankfully, there was no overflow, and that was a miracle because my pad barely made it. I had to run/waddle to the bathroom right after the last bow.

Tomorrow, I'm getting on a long haul, international flight. I am praying that I get through all this heavy flow before we board the plane. Just in case, I'm going to arm myself with the biggest, baddest pads I can find.

I really wish my life wasn't so interesting right now. I could do with dull, boring, and normal for a while. God bless my DH for being my hero and picking up my slack.

 

[Dollybird]

Aw I can imagine that being awful. I had 3 weeks off work during/after my miscarraige and I needed every minute, so think you are doing a wonderful job to be still cracking on with work. Hopefully the bleeding will ease up for you a bit soon so you can relax xxx

 

[AlaskanWife]

Linza and Dolly, I'm so sorry for both of your losses ((hugs)) I just miscarried our first baby last weekend. It was a surprise pregnancy for us, but we were excited and in love. This has been a very emotional, and yes very lonely week.

 

[Linzalora]

Hey Alaskan. I was sad to hear about your MC. I finally told my mom, and she told me that she also had a miscarriage with her first pregnancy.

Heavy bleeding and cramps again today and we leave for the airport tonight. Packing suitcases has proven to be pretty exhausting.

I've decided to go ahead and temp during this process to monitor how my body is transitioning. It's not too much of a hassle, and it might just make me feel a little more in control/ in the know.

 

[AlaskanWife]

Yeah I'm thinking of starting to temp again, too. I read that the common thing is to count your first day of bleeding/miscarriage as cycle day 1, so I guess that's what I will do. This all seems surreal, doesn't it?

 

[Mummy1506]

Sorry to hear of your losses ladies. I'm sadly in the process also lots of heavy bleeding & clots hcg level did rise but nowhere near enough so scan will confirm Tuesday im just hoping it's all gone naturally & no medical intervention is needed.

I'm not sure if I will be on here for a while or not as its seems such a lonely place at this time.

Wish you all the best & get your sticky beans very soon.

X

 

[Dollybird]

Ladies so sorry for all your losses. Hope you are all doing ok. It will get easier I promise.. And you will get your rainbow babies in time. I conceived my little boy after my first loss (ectopic) and I'm holding onto every hope that l conceive again after this loss. Xxx

 

[Linzalora]

Hey all. Yes, very surreal and lonely. Thank you all for chatting. It is comforting. Had a good cry today and a nap before heading to the airport. Can't wait to be done traveling.

 

[tiki012]

Linzalora, I'm so sorry for your loss. If you need someone to talk to, you can always message me.

 

[Linzalora]

Well, let me just tell y'all that travelling on long haul flights while basically hemorrhaging is as bad as it sounds. Maybe worse. Thankfully, the bleeding has tapered off, and I'm feeling a million times better. There was one really painful day at the end- I think that was my body expelling the last bits of tissue.

I have gained ten pounds, and read that's fairly common after a miscarriage. I have been careful about what I'm eating and stayed active, but my hormones must still be out of whack. Can't wait to drop the extra pounds.

 

[Dollybird]

Yeh it's tough. When I was preggo with the ectopic I started bleeding heavy on the flight back from our honeymoon in Thailand. It was awful and incredibly painful. I couldnt sit down I was crouched in my seat rocking back and forth. I'll never forget it. hope u are ok and glad the worst is almost over. I didn't know weight gain was common after a mc? I wonder why. And actually I have gained weight! Argh its one thing after another! Xxx