8 month old won't nap/go to sleep in cot.

[LillyFleur]

Need some help with what to do with my DD as I'm at my wits end.

She wont go to sleep or nap in the cot (unless she's already asleep when we put her down) she naps twice a day and that involves me taking her for a walk in the pram and then after 30 mins she usually drops off to sleep and I park the pram in the kitchen while she naps.

Bedtime routine is we don't let her nap past 4pm and then by the time it gets to 7/8pm she's tried, so we bath her and read stories then DH feeds her and she falls asleep in his arms while having her bottle, then he puts her down.

But if she wakes up during the night I have to play with her for 3/4 hours while she gets tired enough to fall asleep while taking her bottle it's just getting ridiculous and especially as weather is getting colder I don't want to have to go waking with the pram twice (or more) times a day.

I feel like everyone else just pops their babies down to sleep and they nap straight away and I'm stuck having to do this every night, admittedly it's probably our own fault getting her into these habits... So how do I break them? I tried just leaving her and letting her cry a few months ago and she screamed for 30 mins before I caved and haven't tried it since! But open to any suggestions that will work as I'm desperate!

 

[SpringCrane]

I don't have advice, just hugs. My 6 month old can't fall asleep on his own, and he'll only nap 20 mins in his crib when we put him down asleep.

My older son didn't learn to fall asleep without some help until around 18 months. And we tried everything with him. Tears were never worth it.

I stressed A LOT about his sleep. I thought I was a bad mom for not teaching him better habits, I was frustrated, I was on edge, I would keep detailed sleep logs... Ugh. None of it was worth it. I decided to just let it go around 14 months and just felt much happier. It still meant I had to work for all of his sleep, but I at least accepted it.

This time I'm just doing whatever makes baby happy and gets everyone the most sleep. It'll pass. Might be a while, but eventually baby WILL sleep!

Hopefully someone else has useful advice ;-)

 

[staralfur]

My LO was never a good sleeper but 8 months was an especially rough time for whatever reason.

I know and remember well how frustrating and exhausting it was, but try to keep reminding yourself that it won't last forever.

I actually don't think it's that uncommon for an 8 month old to need assistance falling asleep, but I understand "this is normal" isn't much comfort when you're being forced to stay awake in the middle of the night.

Unfortunately I don't have much advice as we found that just sticking to what we knew worked to get my LO to sleep ended up being the easiest thing in the end, but as the pp mentioned I found that letting go of any expectations and taking things day by day really helped me cope.

 

[Twag]

my 10 month old cannot put herself to sleep either but she will get there when she is ready I also put her down when she is asleep

She still wakes twice in the night and I feed her then put her back to bed asleep

tbh I am not stressing about it she will get there in her own time I am not about to leave her to cry

I believe there is an 8 month sleep regression so you could also be experiencing this

 

[Bevziibubble]

My 8 month old is the same. He has never been put down for a nap in his cot because he just wouldn't do it. He really fights naps at the best of times. He has all his naps on me either lying down on me or in the wrap while we are out on a walk.

 

[donnarobinson]

I wouldn't let them cry and leave but I would put them down let them
Cry a few minutes and the go in settle them lay them back down when there settle leave and keep doing this it is hard and frustrating but once they learn to fall asleep by there selves it's much easier everyone is different
Cruz goes down awake sometimes he fusses for 5/10 mins before he goes to sleep but then goes if he doesn't scream and I do go in if he upset I cuddle him wait til he's settled and lay him back down

I would say the fact u have to to tire her out in the middle of the night is a problem my first son was the same I swore I'd never make the same mistakes and baby 2/3 have been better sleepers .
Given time she will start to sleep better and If u want to continue how things are that's fine what ever works for you I however couldn't cope with long nights awakening x
I do feed Cruz to sleep at bedtime tho and this doesn't affect him x

 

[LillyFleur]

Thanks for all your replies, I feel better knowing it's not just me!

She's been ok for months sleeping though the night but she's just got so bad this week with waking up and not going to sleep. I think she is going through a clingy/seperation anxiety stage, we even had to take her for a drive in the car at 1am last night to get her off to sleep which we've never done.. She's fine with me leaving her with other people but if I put her on the floor to play she whines for me to hold her even if I'm sat right next to her, at night when we get desperate we put her in the pram and she will scream straight away (she's ok during the day) I think she is so worried we're just going to walk off and leave her.

That's why I'm a bit reluctant to try cry it out method as I think she's really anxious about me leaving and not coming back (which obviously wouldn't happen, but she doesn't know that). I might try settling her and then put her down and keep going back in and see if that works.

 

[donnarobinson]

It is probably a regression then Hun if it's particularly bad suddenly . Yeh as I say ino letting them cry a little isn't for a everyone I certainly don't like cry it out but I think a bit of controlled crying is ok as so said Cruz has a winge I leave him I can tel the difference between a cry that he needs me and just a little winge I find the more I go in the longner it takes to settle do what works for you Hun x