8 months since MMC

[AB82]

Ok, this is probably going to come out as a long rant, so please bear with me.

I had MMC in April and have been desperately TTC since with no luck. Everyone around me is pregnant and I had a complete meltdown on friday after AF arrived..

I was at work today and I walked past a girl i work with. She gave me what I can only describe as 'pity face' and I instantly knew she's pregnant again. Then later on I noticed she's wearing sickness bands and has a very tiny bump.
It's ridiculous but it's completely ruined my day again.

The other pregnant girl i work with had a MMC same time as me and is 32 weeks pregnant now. I've been avoiding her because it's just so painful to see where's she's at and where I feel I should be now.
However, she came to see me the other day to ask me if I wanted to get an appointment with her husband who is a private fertility specialist and I wanted to get people's opinion on whether I should take advantage of this or not. For one thing I don't know if she means see him at no cost (we couldn't afford to pay the private prices), and the other is am I overreacting to not being able to conceive again yet?
We started TTC last Dec, I got pregnant at the beginning of Jan then lost the baby at 13 weeks, so it's 8 months of TTC since.
I know people try for a lot longer, it's just killing me every month and seems to be getting harder and harder to deal with the disappointment

 

[grandbleu]

I hear you hon - I suffered every month even before my miscarriage - I imagine it's going to be more difficult now.

I'm so sorry for your loss. My good friend had a similar experience - got pregnant fast when she started to TTC and then had a miscarriage but then it took 9 months for her to get pregnant (she now has a healthy boy! happy ending!) . I know it's hard but sometimes you need to just be patient...and not compare yourself to all the other pregnant ladies - and everyone does seem to be pregnant when you are struggling! Trust me I am not patient and I am upset every month so I'm not even taking my own advice.

I'd say if your friend is offering you a free consult with her husband who's a fertility specialist - why not? it can't hurt and he may have some useful tips or encouragement for you. However if you have to pay...well that changes things. Are you close enough to ask her? You could always just be honest and say that you really appreciate her interest and thought behind offering to see her husband but that financially you probably couldn't afford private practice rates...see how she responds...I'm sure she'd either offer free knowing how you've been struggling or at least at reduced rates.

Good luck hon...I'm just starting TTC now post-miscarriage and I'm petrified to get my AF - the sadness...disappointment...feeling powerless and unfertile...UGH!

 

[AB82]

Thank you so much for replying. That is perfect advice, I think I'll speak to her tomorrow.
x

 

[AB82]

oh and best of luck

 

[Feisty Fidget]

I totally agree with grandbleu, perhaps just out-rightly say that you had been considering booking an appointment with a fertility expert as your worried and just ask how much her husband would charge you. If she says it's free then if it's too expensive then just say your think about it.

We haven't even started ttc again just yet but I am convinced it will be months before I fall again, not sure why but I was convinced something was wrong with my pregnancy and I was unfortunately right, I really hope I'm wrong this time though!

Good Luck xxx

 

[selina3127]

don't worry yet hun its takes a normal couple up to 12 to 18 months to concieve naturally sometimes me and my partner have been trying since november last year with no luck so far, good luck xxxx

 

[wannabe mam]

Hi hun, I know how you feel I miscarried in March and feel like its taking to long to conceive! Especially when live goes on around with you with pregnant friends and babies everywhere. I agree with grandbleu about the appointment, it is a good opportunity but it does matter how close you are to this friend, enough to go with her?
Good luck hun xx