9 months and still wakes up at night.... help pls

[GonnaBaMama]

Hello mamas! My baby is almost 9 months old and neither of us have slept thru the night yet. Actually we haven't slept more than 3 hours straight! My baby has always had very restless night sleeps where he tosses and turns and cries every few hours. He's wonderful during the day and takes naps during the day fine. But at night it's awful. Here is his typical schedule:
7:45 bed time
12:00. Wakes up tossing and Turing and cries. I give him a sip of water and pet him to sleep. The whole process takes less than 2 mins
2:00 wakes up crying. I change him and give him 6oz bottle which he devours fat
4:00. Toss and turns and cries. I usually just sooth him to sleep. Takes about 5 mins
5:00 toss and turns and cries. By this time I'm exhausted and bring him to our bed. He still tosses and turns every little bit until he wakes up at 7

Some have said that he got used to our bed and wants it but I don't believe that's the case as I've taken him into our bed before at 12 and he still tosses and turns and wakes up a lot. Others suggested to let him cry it out. Here's my issue with that: if he's up crying for a long time then so it my household and ppl go to work in the morning. Also sometimes he cries so hard that it feels like he's hurting himself cuz he starts coughing and gagging. I have 4 months left until my husband and I are back at work and if this continues then we'll both be zombies for work

I know its a long post.... sorry.... any suggestions?

 

[Ashley1021]

I feel for you! My DS will be one in a couple weeks and has just started sleeping through the night. Kind of. It varies by night. I wish I could give you the magical answer, but there really isn't one! My husband and I work full time. And it's been hard. But we are finally starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel!

 

[Button#]

Some babies just take longer to learn how to sleep through I'm afraid. 8 months is a tricky time as there is a sleep regression then but it will pass eventually and hopefully you will see some improvement then. My DS was a terrible sleeper and he improved a lot by 16 months and was sttn consistently from 21 months. There's so much going on in their heads around that age it makes it tough for some babies to settle.

 

[apple_20]

I'm with you, my 10 month old is up every 2 hours at night and never done more than three hours sleep in a row (apart from the odd time around 6months where she did a 4hour sleep at the the start of the night,) she also self settles and had for ages.

Sorry I don't have any advice but I feel your pain!

 

[CaptainMummy]

My 10 month old has sttn once and that is it. She goes down fine at bedtime and usually wakes around 12ish. I just bring her in beside me because it is the easiest way and she goes straight back to sleep. She then wakes between 3/4am and only goes back to sleep with a bottle (which is the only bottle she takes in 24hrs) and then wakes for the day between 5/6. I wouldnt mind the night wakenings if she werent up so early! She is also a very light sleeper and when I go to bed, she often wakes and I need to tuck her back in and give her dummy.

 

[Gym knickers]

My 9 month old is still very unpredictable at night. She slept through from 8 weeks-12 weeks and then just stopped. She's maybe done it twice since then. She wakes anywhere from once to 6 times a night. I've just gone back to work and I'm breastfeeding so she's been bad atm. My eldest little girl was rubbish at sleeping until about 1 but she's great now so hoping this one goes the same way soon!!

 

[SpringCrane]

My son just turned two, and he's only just started sleeping through the night more often than not. My husband did some "controlled crying" sleep training, but it'd only work for a couple of weeks at a time. I had to stay at my mom's house those nights as I can't handle the crying. I finally put my foot down after the two tries didn't stick because it wasn't working and made me feel sick to think of him crying.

What started working best for us was just doing what he wanted. What soothes him has changed depending on where he's at developmentally, but just accepting that he's a bad sleeper and doing what keeps him happy means we both sleep a lot better.

One piece of advice that I do have is to try to put him down earlier. If he's too tired when he's going down it can affect him all night. Probably not the cause, but worth a shot.

It's really hard to have your sleep disrupted for so long, I know. Hang in there. If he's OK with both you and your husband soothing him at night, try taking turns. The one who's off for the night can wear ear plugs and try to get a good night of sleep.

Poor sleepers are rough!

Wanted to add that you can try a vibrating pad. My son anyways liked movement, and his pediatrician recommend it. It slipped in under his crib mattress and gave a gentle vibration.

 

[MindUtopia]

Would he sleep more soundly if you fed him more during the night? I see you give him water when he wakes at 12 and then a feed later, which you said he devours. If you fed him at 12 and then again at 4am or whenever he wakes, would he sleep more soundly in between? That would be my first instinct of things you might consider trying. Otherwise, if it helps you sleep better with him with you in bed, do it. Get your sleep.

What you're describing in terms of wake ups during the night though I would say isn't too unusual for a 9 month old. My daughter was very much the same at 9 months (minus the tossing and turning, she slept quietly in between, but woke every 2-3 hours) and I would say it sounds pretty similar to what most of my friends have described too. She did drop all night feeds at 9 months on her own (we would offer and she would refuse), but it didn't mean she didn't wake still, though she did go back to sleep easily and slept well in between waking. She didn't STTN until 13 months. It just happened on its own. We didn't do anything except to keep soothing her back to sleep and then eventually she would just sleep through. But even then, that doesn't always last. She's 2.5 now and sleeps about 5-6 hours at a time, with usually one wake up around 12-1am, though sometimes she can talk in her sleep or have a night terror or grumble a bit (which wakes me up! even if it doesn't wake her up). She goes to sleep easily on her own after a bedtime story. We never sleep trained. We do bedshare and always have, but again, I don't think her sleep is much different from all my friends who haven't bedshared. The good thing is that keeping her close has meant I get more sleep most of the time.

But also have faith that your body will adjust when you need to go back to work. I went back at about 12 months. I was commuting 4 hours a day some days, leaving my house at 5:45am, and still getting up during the night. You just get on with it. Now even though my daughter does wake once or twice a night and wake up about 6:30-7 every morning, I still feel pretty well rested. You'll be fine. Also, yes, I second trading off on doing the nighttime stuff with your partner. If he's bottle fed, you can both equally do it and you'll feel a lot better getting a few good night's of sleep a week. My husband and I often trade off based on who has the busiest or most stressful day at work the next day, or who has to get up early to catch a train or whatnot.

 

[Mummy to be x]

My 8 month old is a bad sleeper at the moment too, waking a few times a night! He was brilliant for the first six months of his life he slept right the way through.

My daughter didn't sleep through until 10 months either, I think it just varies in every baby

 

[Angelbaby_01]

My eldest took 2 and a half years. Now with my 7 month old I still.struggle as well. I co-sleep now since I find it easier.

 

[sarah34]

I second trying to feed him at 12 and see what happens. I still had to give my lo a bottle around 10/11pm until he was close to 1.

Does he settle himself at night and for naps? If so then I would suggest leaving him for 5/10 mins and see if he gets himself off to sleep again. We all wake up through the night but if he learns to get himself off to sleep he will only cry for a couple mins.

My lo is 15 months and still wakes up every now and then, has a little shout and then goes back to sleep.

Also, could you try an earlier bedtime? I know it sounds crazy but if my lo goes to bed much after 7.15 he seems to have a more unsettled night. Maybe you could bring it forward 10 mins every few nights and see? X