9 year old step-daughter - what do I do!!

[cherryglitter]

My OH's daughter is staying for a few days. OH isn't around in the morning tomorrow and I need to have her for a few hours. This is the second time i've properly met her.

Now I don't really know what to do with 9 year olds.. I'm 23 so it was a long time ago.

Do I need to do her hair for her? Make sure she knows what she's wearing and things!! I don't want to sound too patronising to her or anything.

 

[MummyJade]

I got no advice sorry. but i am sure you will be fine, just ask her what she would like to breakfast... maybe go park if its nice... i would guess she would do her own hair and do her clothes... x

 

[RiverSong]

I suppose if she doesnt do her hair or outfit etc, you could offer to do it, but put it to her as you making it look pretty, rather than just doing it as part of a routine? As for lunch, suggest you make something special together?

When my ss was 9 he was capable of most things, within reason. The only problem was he was a bit lazy and needed a bit of guidence/prodding

Enjoy your time with her it could turn out to be a brilliant bonding experience for you both.xxx

 

[k.mcmahan2010]

I'm only 19 so it wasn't quite that long ago for me. If I remember right I could do my own hair (although it's super thick/curly/frizzy so I wanted mom to help some days if I was trying to do something special with it) and I was picking out my own clothes.

My younger brother on the other hand (who is almost 12 now) still has to be reminded to brush his teeth, comb his hair (if it's not cut short that is) and we have to make sure his clothes are clean and look decent because he's really bad about wearing clothes for 3-4 days in a row or not matching them at all!

 

[MamaBelle]

[Removed]

 

[jennijunni]

I have a 9 yo DS, and he knows to brush his teeth, and get dressed. I do get my children breakfast, but they know how to get it themselves if need be. 9 yo are easy. Just have fun, watch a movie and chat.

 

[Amber_Lynn822]

My Steppie is 10 it's hard to build a connection, but its so worth it!! Offer to help with her hair, my Steppie loves projects (like friendship brackets) ask her what she wants to do. Trust me making her feel important goes a long way if you ever need advice email me!

 

[LaaLaa]

No! At that age that want to be seen as little grown ups, even though they're clearly not.

 

[emmylou92]

my SD is 9 soon, she dresses herself and does her own hair and teeth though if were off out and her out fit dosen't match we tell her to change and if her hair is full of bumps we will do it again. WE always have to have a lool at her teeth as her idea of brushing is putting the paste on the brush and rubbing it around for a second. Apart from that she loves reading and playing the wii with 2player games Good luck, you'll have fun im sure.

 

[LittleWishes]

Nine year old girls usually love to be treated like your best friend. So maybe if you like to get pedicures, you can take her and get your toes done together. But other than that just make sure she brushes her teeth and does the stuff you normally have to remind kids to do.

 

[stepmummy]

Baking is always a good one, my SD and I make flapjacks and brownies quite often (she's 8). She can do most things for herself but needs reminding. Especially about teeth brushing.

I agree with the advice above, just try to have fun and treat her as an equal. As long as she has a loving mother already, you don't have to fill that role so you can just relax and enjoy her company. The earlier you can bond, the better. She'll probably end up coming to you with her teen problems! Good luck

 

[cherryglitter]

that's the thing, her mother is an idiot.
social services are involved and the mother doens't see her any more as she's well into drugs and basically chose her druggy boyfriend over her children. :/