a bit of advice please

[tigerschild]

hi all,
a few months ago i thought i was pregant me and my boyfriend wanted it to be posertive, but then i got a bit down coz i suffer from depression and i told him it might not be the best idea to hav a child right now, well he went mad.
in the end it turned out i wasnt pregant. at the moment we are not trying to concieve but were not preventing it. i went to the doctors today and they have give me the patch so im unsure weather or not to use it. i want to wait a bit longer but my boyfriend doesnt. i dont want to lose him or fall out with him over this, but im scared if i have a kid i wont be able to cope.

Emma

 

[Debz82]

That is tricky, but personally i would wait until u felt better within yourself, if your bf really cared for you he would understand this and respect that, i understand you dont want to upset him, but it has to be the right time for you emotionally etc.. have you spoke to him about how u feel??

 

[Drazic<3]

Tricky hun, but if you are not ready then you shouldnt have a child yet. It needs to be a join decision for both of you before ttc, nothing you should be presured into. Have you tried talking to him about your reservations? If he can't listen to you and discuss then I very much doubt he is ready to have a child either, however much he may think it.

Love and hugs.

 

[tigerschild]

he already has a child with his ex and i no he would like another one. i would love nothnig more then to have his child just not yet. i have told him im scared of becoming ill again and he just told m it wouldnt happen. anytime i try and mention a type of contreception he says we dont need it. now if i dont use anything then i no it will only be a matter of time before i get pg. im just unsure, i dont no weather of not just to start using the patch or talk to him and if i talk to him i dont no what to say.

 

[Catastrophe]

I suffer with depression too and I want to have it under control as much as possible before ttc (there are other factors for us waiting too though). I think however helpful the father is, the mother will always carry the brunt of the stress (not sure if that's the right word) of a baby in all sorts of ways.

If you're not quite ready then definitely wait. Maybe try and find out what your partner's reasons are for wanting to try right now? If he loves you I'm sure he will support your decision

Also we nutcases have a support thread here if you want to vent more about your depression.

Take care

 

[Debz82]

if ur really that unsure about havin a child right now then u shud use contraception, but try talkin to him about it again, how does he know u wont get ill again he doesnt know how your feelin u know, tell him that your not ready right now and your not sayin u want to wait yrs maybe just a month or 2 to see how ur feelin plus the months will fly by

 

[tigerschild]

thanks Catastrophe ill check that thread out.
yeh true, i no we should be using something, he cant use condoms and i cant take the pill thats why the doctors have give me the patches.