A couple of questions ...

[happycupcake]

How many of you have had a home birth following hospital births and how was your experience? Are you allowed a home birth if you’re consultant led because of mental health (I’m assuming you can, I’m in the UK if that makes a difference)?

Also, we have our anomaly scan soon, just a little more than three weeks away. I didn’t want to find out the gender (I have a feeling this is a girl), but since have been in two minds! Husband wants to find out. I have always found out with the others. Surprise or not? I can’t decide and I just want someone to decide for me lol

 

[..marie..]

I know normally if your under consultant care you arnt allowed a home birth,I know you said it’s down to mental health are you in medication for this as I know with sister they check baby after birth to see if they are ok from mum being on medication.But all you can do is ask your consultant the worst they can say is no.i didn’t find out the sex on my first two boys and it was the best thing I ever did however we are finding out this time more so for my boys and because if I am having another boy I’d like to do the whole going out buying blue as Iv never experienced it even though Iv already had 2 boys

 

[BunnyN]

In UK they can't actually legally tell you you are not allowed a home birth. They can advise you against it but it is your choice and their responsibility to support your choice. Consultants in general do not have a reputation of being pro home birth. If a doctor wants to they can always come up with a 'reason' you 'cant' have a hb. I think you have to listen to what they say and see if they have any good genuine reasons for advising against a hb. Of course if there are good reasons it's important to take them into account. But you might need to be able to see through a few empty excuses and be firm about what you want. In the end it is your choice.

 

[kittylady]

I am planning my third home birth in the UK. As said above its your birth and your choice. Birth rights UK has a factsheet on this and its worth looking at their other factsheets as well, they have a good one on consent too.


link to pdf
https://www.birthrights.org.uk/library/factsheets/Choice-of-Place-of-Birth.pdf

link to website fact sheets page
https://www.birthrights.org.uk/resources/factsheets/

 

[happycupcake]

Wrong word usage of me, what I meant was more are they likely (the consultant) to advise against the idea. My midwife, providing there aren’t any complications, is in full support of a home birth as she made perfectly clear at booking in. In fact oddly enough (I found it ‘odd’ because it hasn’t been suggested to me before with my other babies) she seemed to encourage it and it was her first birth option. It was nice that she didn’t just assume we would want hospital birth because this is what we had before. Only reason we did before were due to husband’s reservations about home birth - I actually really wanted a home birth initially. He’s more on board with the idea this time.
We don’t live far from hospital, perhaps a ten minute drive maximum in normal to quiet traffic.
I am currently on meds but only diazepam, nothing else. This is something they strongly advise you stop before the third tri, unless there aren’t any other suitable options and the benefits to me outweigh the risks to the baby, which as much as it scares the bejesus out of me to say, they couldn’t possibly benefit me more to the point of outweighing that of the health of he or she.

KittyLady thank you for those links

The whole surprise/find out thing with the gender is all my husband’s fault. He agreed to a surprise but changed his mind, which has made me wonder whether I want to find out or keep it a surprise still

 

[kittylady]

It depends on the consultant. I've met some that like it some that don't. In my second pregnancy a senior consultant signed me off for a home birth quite happily. With my first it was suggested even though I was referred to the mental health team because of previous depression and aspergers.

At the end of the day they can only advise, sometimes they act like they are in control but it is a service in the UK and you are in control.


I find (primarily due to my aspergers) I try to avoid confrontation and find it difficult to explain verbally sometimes but I can write, so this pregnancy I've written down in a letter form everything that needs an explanation, such as my difficult birth or my birth plans. I've printed off information and put it in a ring binder so I can give my plans to them. It gives me a starting point to then discuss it with them and it means I don't forget anything.

 

[xarlenex]

For my son and daughter I was consultant led care, my son was a hospital birth, my daughter was home birth. Being consultant led care due to mental health reasons would have no actual impact on your labour and birth, more specifically theres nothing to suggest any potential complications due to any mental health issues you may have. Most of it comes down to how much you want it, because like others have said it's entirely your choice.
I'm hoping for a home birth this time around again, but I was group b strep positive with my daughter so will wait for my results to make a final decision on where I birth.

 

[FlowerFairy]

I'm planning my 3rd Home Birth and they said no and put me on consultant led care.
I refused the consultant app and instead I'm seeing the consultant Midwife on Tuesday!!
No one can say you are not allowed.
Mine is based on BMI over 40 and last baby over 4.5kg but I'm the same weight as I was then and she was born at home no issues.

I will listen to advice but it will definitely be thanks but no thanks and unless there is a medical issue that could be serious then ill be birthing at home again xx

 

[BunnyN]

I'm planning my 3rd Home Birth and they said no and put me on consultant led care.
I refused the consultant app and instead I'm seeing the consultant Midwife on Tuesday!!
No one can say you are not allowed.
Mine is based on BMI over 40 and last baby over 4.5kg but I'm the same weight as I was then and she was born at home no issues.

I will listen to advice but it will definitely be thanks but no thanks and unless there is a medical issue that could be serious then ill be birthing at home again xx

I'm planning my 4th home birth with this one all being well. They have all been big babies but our second was a bit of a shock at 5kg. I really feel that being at home actually helped his delivery to go well. The MW was great at helping me try positions etc. I didn't even tear! I find it hard to believe I wouldn't have had a snowball of interventions in hospital.

 

[happycupcake]

See this is the thing. I think I would be more comfortable at home, especially having Asperger’s. I hate being out of my comfort zone, I can’t stand hospital appointments, or even midwife appointments at the community centre because it’s all so uncomfortable. They tried to make me stay in hospital with DD but I knew she was fine and so I refused and left. Second and third children I went home the same day because I can’t stand being in that place. I have health anxiety too, and am due in November when all the germs will be at their height, especially in a hospital, so the thought of that is scaring me. My other children arrived September, April and March so I didn’t feel as uncomfortable on that front but I still hated being in this clinical place where I wasn’t familiar with the people and I felt I had to abide by rules and was restricted. I want a warm, familiar environment with relaxing music, an eff off great fan if I become too hot, candles and my own darn toast and tea in my own mug which I know is the right one which is clean and keeps my tea right at the perfect temperature for the right time. Yes, I am weird, but that’s the point - I can’t be my weird self in a hospital setting

 

[BunnyN]

That is what I loved about being at home. Own environment, own comforts, own shower and bed after. Some people say it's not fair to put your own comfort before baby's welfare and of course if there was a good reason I would go to hospital. But the statistics for hb is that it is very safe. And surely a mother who is comfortable with her environment in labour has a better chance of a smooth labour, less interventions, less need of drugs etc. Which ultimately is better for mother and baby. Being in your house after means being more comfortable, getting better sleep etc which helps with bonding time with baby and breastfeeding etc. And of course less germs

 

[happycupcake]

Precisely. And there’s also the possibility I may be able to have acupuncture at home for pain management. I didn’t have anything with my first because it wasn’t explained to me, so I didn’t feel I had any options. With DS2 I had some gas & air, DD a tiny amount of gas & air but didn’t feel I needed it with her. Hoping and praying this one will be like DD! I wouldn’t put them at risk by being at home, but I won’t be put off by scaremongering if I end up with a consultant like that