A few questions

[prettybirdy27]

My husband and I recently decided we will start TTC in October. I really have a lot of questions that I want to talk to people about and my husband can't answer, but I don't feel like I really have anyone to talk to. My mom is passed on and my dad gets really squirmy about things like this. I am very close with my inlaws, particularly my mother in law, but I don't really want to tell her because I don't want her to get excited in case something goes wrong. Also I feel it would be awkward that I would start a conversation that implies "Hey, your son and I are going to have piles of sex now, we'll keep you updated on if it works or not." I have a best friend that I opened up to about it, but she is extremely busy in her own life and I can't reasonably expect her to listen to every question and detail, especially since she doesn't have kids so she doesn't know the answers either. So...I have a few questions for you.

1. How did you personally know you were ready to start having children?

2. How do you know you're financially ready? How much money should I have put aside?

3. I am really not looking forward to going off birth control. I've been on it for almost eight years now. I started with ortho tri-cyclin, moved to a generic called Reclipsen, and started the nuvaring about three years ago. I am on three-month cycles, and am really not excited about having monthly cycles again. If you were on birth control, how terrible was it to go off?

4. Did you ever second-guess your decision to start TTC or look back? Some mornings I wake up and I'm like "I AM READY FOR THIS" and other mornings I wake up and I'm like "But having a baby means my whole life is going to change and that makes me nervous."

I think that's all I have for now.

 

[tinkerbelle93]

We're considering TTC 2 soon (DS 1 was a lovely surprise!) and I've considered quite a few things. Obviously it's a little different for me as I am already a mother and have been through the biggest change already but some of the things are quite similar. I think you have to consider how much your lifestyle will change, if you are very much still into drinking/partying/holidaying a lot then you have to consider how you'll feel when you can't do anywhere near as often, and whether you really feel you've got that sort of thing out of your system yet. Then also whether you have things you are currently in the process of or want to achieve (like doing a degree, paying off some debts etc) that might be much easily done before you have a baby. But similarly, it's worth considering whether it's really better to wait, if you're an older mum WTT then it's worth thinking about how children you want and what age gaps. I'm only 21 but I want to be finished by my late 20's so I have to keep this in mind when thinking about delaying/how many kids I want all together! Also to keep in mind that babies grow up fast and go to school.

As for finances I think that really varies from person to person. Babies are quite inexpensive during the first year but obviously as they grow so does expense. If you look at your own monthly budget and leftover income then you should have a good idea of how you would manage with children

As for BC I have never had any problem coming off it, in fact I found it a positive change to change from hormonal to non-hormonal methods! X

 

[ItsJana]

1. How did you personally know you were ready to start having children?

2. How do you know you're financially ready? How much money should I have put aside?

3. I am really not looking forward to going off birth control. I've been on it for almost eight years now. I started with ortho tri-cyclin, moved to a generic called Reclipsen, and started the nuvaring about three years ago. I am on three-month cycles, and am really not excited about having monthly cycles again. If you were on birth control, how terrible was it to go off?

4. Did you ever second-guess your decision to start TTC or look back? Some mornings I wake up and I'm like "I AM READY FOR THIS" and other mornings I wake up and I'm like "But having a baby means my whole life is going to change and that makes me nervous."

I think that's all I have for now.

Hi prettybirdy27,

1) We had been married for 3.5 years, had fun travelling together, working like crazy and had felt like it was a good time to have a baby together.

2) Honestly we didn't think too much about the financial side, how much money you put aside really depends on so many things. Breast feeding is cheaper than formula etc....what you want for baby, if you are a saver or a spender and if you plan on starting an RESP for baby. An RESP was something we wanted above anything, so we made sure we had enough money to contribute each year. There is a really good thread here on what people found most and least useful for baby https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/p...our-unnecessary-essential-baby-purchases.html

3) I was on ortho tri-cyclin for 4 years, it was fine going off it. Starting it was harder, made me so emotional for the first two weeks.

4) Never second guessed our decision. Honestly having one baby didn't change my life very much, we aren't drinkers or smokers and not into the party scene. We still traveled, still went out to dinner, basically did everything we normally did together, just made sure baby was fed and changed before hand. We didn't have anyone to watch our baby so we took her everywhere, babies sleep a lot so we just brought her into places in her stroller or car seat.

 

[Kitteh_Kat]

1.) One day I woke up and decided that I had to have a baby NOW. No huge epiphany, no earth-shattering defining moment. My body said "let's do this", and my mind agreed. (thankfully so did my partner) We had been talking about kids since we got together though, and knew we wanted them, so it was just a question of when.

2.) You will never truly be financially ready for a child. Look up average expenses for a baby (diapers, clothes, potentially formula, necessary items like a car seat and crib, etc), and then see if you have the expenses to pay that monthly. The costs drop a lot if you don't mind generic, or shopping for some things second hand - I get most of her clothes from Goodwill when they're a $1, since they're usually in almost new condition or she only wears them for a few months. Childcare is the biggest cost, so take that into consideration if you're going to be using some kind of childcare.

We put aside about $2500 from our tax refund that year to cover the hospital bill, but we didn't have anything saved just for her beforehand.

3.) I was on the pill for 6 years prior - had no problem going off of it. My cycles started back normally right away, and had no side effects. I get a monthly period on the pill anyway, so that didn't change, and I only had one period before I got pregnant.

4.) I was actually thinking about going back on the pill for awhile longer during the two weeks leading up to the positive pregnancy test. Partner was talking about joining the military, and I thought it might be better to hold off a little longer. I figured I'd wait till the end of that cycle, and then start taking them again. Well, I got my BFP, so that ended that idea. No regrets though! We made it work, and I love my daughter to pieces. I can't imagine not being a mom now, and she amazes me every day. It was so worth it!

Good luck in October! And the questions don't stop, especially once you get pregnant. You question everything your body does, and then you question everything your baby does (or doesn't do)!

 

[crazycatlady5]

Glad you asked those questions prettybirdy. Sounds like you are very similar to me. I'm not looking forward to coming off pill either. I usually take mine back to back so skip most periods and have been on it nearly 10 years now!

I also feel like I don't have anyone to talk to so great to have this forum!

 

[Monsterwriter]

My husband and I recently decided we will start TTC in October. I really have a lot of questions that I want to talk to people about and my husband can't answer, but I don't feel like I really have anyone to talk to. My mom is passed on and my dad gets really squirmy about things like this. I am very close with my inlaws, particularly my mother in law, but I don't really want to tell her because I don't want her to get excited in case something goes wrong. Also I feel it would be awkward that I would start a conversation that implies "Hey, your son and I are going to have piles of sex now, we'll keep you updated on if it works or not." I have a best friend that I opened up to about it, but she is extremely busy in her own life and I can't reasonably expect her to listen to every question and detail, especially since she doesn't have kids so she doesn't know the answers either. So...I have a few questions for you.

1. How did you personally know you were ready to start having children?

2. How do you know you're financially ready? How much money should I have put aside?

3. I am really not looking forward to going off birth control. I've been on it for almost eight years now. I started with ortho tri-cyclin, moved to a generic called Reclipsen, and started the nuvaring about three years ago. I am on three-month cycles, and am really not excited about having monthly cycles again. If you were on birth control, how terrible was it to go off?

4. Did you ever second-guess your decision to start TTC or look back? Some mornings I wake up and I'm like "I AM READY FOR THIS" and other mornings I wake up and I'm like "But having a baby means my whole life is going to change and that makes me nervous."

I think that's all I have for now.

Oh I was also wondering about some of these!

 

[Monsterwriter]

Glad you asked those questions prettybirdy. Sounds like you are very similar to me. I'm not looking forward to coming off pill either. I usually take mine back to back so skip most periods and have been on it nearly 10 years now!

I also feel like I don't have anyone to talk to so great to have this forum!

aww so good to know there's a few of us here!

I've been on mini pill for ten years and absolutely dreading coming off it!!

I don't really want to tell anyone that we're trying as I don't want the added pressure so nice to be on here talking to people in similar circumstances