Beaner86
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You guys probably don't remember me because I haven't posted in forever but I have more time now so I thought I should probably post my birth story lol. My little Ronnie was born on August 31, 2011 and she was 7 pounds 7 oz
This is so freaking long!!
I had a pretty uneventful pregnancy until the end. I was trying to work as long as possible but two weeks before my due date was my last day of work. I thought that I was gonna make it longer but I'm pretty proud of myself for making it as long as I could. We had a nice cool summer but at the begining of August it got really really hot and my feet were swelling really bad. My blood pressure was really high and the air conditioning kept breaking and it was hotter in the office than outside. I made it at work until August 15. Once I was off work my blood pressure went right down and my feet stopped swelling (I guess I was just stressed at work and I didn't really realize it until I was off work).
My due date was August 29, 2011 and it came and went. I wasn't really surprised as I thought I would go past the due date (even if all my family members were betting when I would go into labour and thought it would way early lol!).
My doctor suggested that I start going for walks to see if I could get anything started as I hadn't had any contractions or anything yet. It was way way to hot out to go for a walk so I went to the mall and to costco and walked around (and ate the samples yum!). On August 30th I felt like shit, my back hurt I was super tired and all I wanted to do was go to sleep. I went to bed early and just crashed right out. I woke up just before midnight and felt really weird but I was so tired and disorientated it took me a couple of minutes to figure out what was going on. I felt like I really really had to pee which wasn't out of the ordinary as by then I was peeing 4 times a night at least. I got up and felt a weird pop and then water gushed out of me. I thought that I had peed myself because I was still really tired. I ran to the bathroom and I gushed out three more times (probably TMI but it was everywhere! I lost my plug at the same time and there was tons and tons of vernix (sp?) all in the water but it was clear and it didn't smell). I finally clued into what was going on and I yelled and DBF but he was fast asleep (he was working 15-16 hour days and my mom and nana were staying with us helping get everything ready). My mom was the first to come in and she fell out of bed and smacked her head on the door running to the bathroom. I think my exact words were "I think my water broke" (I was standing there in my sopping wet pj's and I didn't have my glasses on so I couldn't even see who I was talking to). My mom burst out laughing. My nana woke up second and she went and woke up DBF. He was also disorientated and for whatever reason thought that she was telling him he was late for work and it took several times of telling him the baby was coming right now for it to sink in.
I had told him so many times to pack his bag for the hospital incase we needed to be there for a few days but he didn't so he was running around trying to pack what he needed (and he brought the weirdest stuff and nothing that he needed). He forgot his toothbrush and tooth paste but he brought floss stuff like this. I didn't pick out anything to actually wear to the hospital so I ended up wearing a very mismatched outfit and I forgot all my nursing bras (I had already packed my hospital bag but didn't put that in it so that I could wear it there) and I decided to wear slippers and ended up not having any shoes to wear home which I will get to later.
Finally the car was packed and my nana drove my mom, DBF and I to the hospital. DBF and I checked in and they put is in a room with 8 beds before they gave us our own room so they could check me out and make sure it was my water. I told the doctor that was on call everything and he said it was definately my water and he didn't even do the test to make sure it was amniotic fluid. He then asked me if I had had any contractions which until he said anything I didn't even realize that no I hadn't had any contractions. He hooked me up to a monitor to make sure that I wasn't having contractions which I was not. He then told me I had two choices. Go home and wait for labour to start naturally or I could stay and they would start pitocin. I live 2 hours away from the hospital (we made it there in an hour and a half) and it was 2:00 in the morning and so it wasn't really an option to go home just incase something happened. The doctor was really nice and he said I could walk the halls until 4 am and if nothing happened then I could start pitocin. I was 1 cm dialated and I walked the halls and stairs and no contractions. At 4 am they checked me and I was still 1 cm.
Pitocin was my worst case senario besides a section so I was terrified. They poked and prodded me and the pitocin was started. I was not prepared for the pain of contractions. I was going to be a hero and have a natural birth but my pain level went from 0 to a million in a half hour. I had a nurse in my room the whole time and she really did act like a doula. She was so amazing and she explained everything and all my options. I decided to try the bath to see if that would help. On the way to the bathroom my water broke again and it soaked my slippers. I also had intense (sorry again TMI lol) diarhea before I got in because of the pain and nerves. The bath helped a little bit and DBF was trying very hard to be supportive but at that point I thought he was enemy #1 for "making" me pregnant and for wanting a natural child birth (he was the one who put the idea in my head). I started puking everywhere from the pain then and I was all wrinkly from being in the bath and the water was cold. I got out and by then it was 8 am. I was proud that I had already made it three hours without pain relief. They came and checked me and I was only 2 cm. I think that was my breaking point. 8 am was staff switch time and a new doctor and nurse came in. The nurse was even better than the last nurse and she convinced me to try some pain relief because being tense from the pain was preventing me from dialating further and I couldn't breath through them anymore. DBF and I talked and I decided to get the epidural. I was going to try something else but DBF couldn't stand seeing me in pain like that he told me to just get it.
The guy came to do the epidural and stayed longer to do it for me so I wouldn't have to wait through the shift change. He was super awesome and he did an excellent job and I was so happy once it kicked in. I told him I loved him and if my baby turns out to be a boy and not a girl I was so naming him after him lol (I posted my ultrasound pictures when I got them done and Nicole didn't think that a girl was acurate). My nana also thought it was going to end up being a boy. He ended up coming back after the baby was born to see if it had been a boy or a girl and he held her for a little bit before he started his shift.
Anyways DBF fell asleep then and his snoring was so loud that I couldn't sleep and my mom and nana had gone to get breakfast. It was about 10 am and they checked me and I was 10 cms! I couldn't believe it. I was apparently having to many contractions so they turned off the pitocin when it was time to push. DBF was beside me and my mom and nana sat at end of the bed (poor girls lol). I started to push and I got the hang of it but everyone started looking concerned and everyone stopped talking. I pushed for 2 hours and the baby wasn't moving. The doctor told me she wanted to call in an ob for a consult to see what was going on. He came in and he was also amazing and he checked and said everything looked fine but he was going to stay and "supervise" just in case. He pretty much took over and that point and he brought a resident with him that was learning to be an OB. She was nice and all but I did not like her at all for reasons I will get to.
I pushed for two more hours and the baby still wasn't moving. My contractions also just completely stopped and my body just didn't want to be in labour. My blood pressure was all over the place and so was the babys and they kept loosing her heart beat. I was passing out between contractions. I had tried every postion including the bar standing up and leaning on the bar and turning around backwards and leaning on the top of the bed, which was difficult when you can't feel your legs but by the end the epi had worn off. I was exhasted and I was getting scared because no one would tell me what was going on and if the baby was okay. The OB finally told me that I had 2 choices I could stop now and just get a c section. They still had time so it wouldn't be an emergency c section and I already had the epidural in so they just had to add more medication and renumb me or I could try forcepts.
I was devistated at the time and I did not want a c section. I talked to my mom because my brother and I were both forcepts and she told me to try that first. The ob said if the forcepts didn't work that it would be an emergency c section. I didn't know it but they had the surgery team outside my room waiting incase it didn't work. The new epidural guy came and he was not as personable as the first guy but he renumbed me so I was happy. All of a sudden there were like 20 people in the room. I guess I was the only person in the labour ward and a forcepts delivery was rare. There was the doctor and my nurse and then the ob and the epidural guy (I just call him that because I don't know how to spell the other name lol) and there was the resident and a pediatriction and a whole bunch of nurses (and the surgical team outside that I didn't see). I didn't notice that there was that many people there because I was in my own little world but my mom and DBF told me later.
They amped up the pitocin so that the contractions would start again.
The ob decided to let the resident insert the forcepts which was the weirdest feeling. I knew something was wrong and it turns out she put them up backwards and when she tried to put them together they wouldn't go and when she took them out it cut up towards my "fun button" which no matter how numb I was I felt it was very painful. The ob then pushed her out of the way and put them in in what seemed like 2 seconds and we were ready to go and we just had to wait for a contraction. I finally got one and I don't really remember much after they said the head was out and to stop and wait until they found where the cord was. I was in so much pain I was so glad I had the epidural (and they won't let you have forcepts without one!). I remember making a mistake and looking at my mom and nana who looked really wide eyed but I didn't clue in until after when they said I needed stitches that I had an episiotomy (and I guess I tore as well). DBF and I talked about it before hand and I told him that I did not want to know if they did cut me or I tore and he did a very good job of not even flinching. I was holding DBF's hand and with the next contraction she was out. It was funny because before they put her on my chest the OB held her up so my nana could see and he said "It's still a girl!". I do remember the nurse saying she had never seen a baby with so much vernix that was overdue (even though it was only a few days). They put her on my chest and she started to cry but she was amazing. They left her on my stomach while they stitched me up. Then they took her away to clean her up and brought her back to me to try to start breast feeding. It seemed to be going well but I had problems latching her by myself because I had a breast reduction. Finally everyone was gone and it was just DBF, me and my little Ronnie!
I started to get really sore and ended up being so uncomfortable. I had to stay in the hospital for three days and the only reason they let me go was because I had a mental breakdown and begged for them to let me go home. The hospital bed was so uncomfortable and my bottom hurt really bad. I tore the episiotomy during delivery right through to my bum. They told me if I had a bowel movement that I could go home. So DBF lied for me and told them I went lol. I went at home and DBF had to sit with me and hold my hand because I swear it was worse than the birth.
When I was still at the hospital I started having breast feeding issues. She had such a strong suction when she latched that when she latched wrong she was bruising and blistering my nipples. It was really painful to breast feed and I wasn't healing. I wasn't expecting breast feeding to be so hard. She also wanted to feed every half hour starting the second night. I would feed her on both breasts and put her down and she would want more and that night it was more like every 15 minutes. All the nurses told me it was just cluster feeding. I wasn't sleeping at all and I was so sore and at that point I still had the cathater in and I was bleeding so bad I had to keep changing my pad and change the icepack. I cried everytime I had to feed her and DBF tried so hard to help but since I was the one with the breasts there was nothing that he could really do.
I finally couldn't do it anymore so this EVIL nurse came in and said that I should try and hand express milk into a medicine cup and then suck it up by a suringe and feed it to DD. She started to milk me and I felt like a cow and this was the first time I thought that something was wrong. She would get only a tiny drop and she would scrap the cup up my nipple and by that time my nipples were bleeding and it hurt so bad but she kept at it drop by drop and finally she had half a ml and she gave it to DD. She was so hungry she tried to shove the whole suringe in her mouth. She couldn't get anymore out so she stopped and told me to keep trying myself and she would be right back.
A different nurse came to see me and saw the state that I was in and brought in some formula to try so I could get some sleep. She told me to give her to DBF and just to go to sleep. I really did try but it was so cute seeing DBF getting a chance to feed DD he was smiling at her. She went to sleep after that and so did DBF and I and all of us slept for 6 hours. When she woke up she also didn't scream she just woke up and I tried to feed her again but again it hurt and she was screaming.
A nurse came and she suggested we try a nipple sheild to help her latch and to let my nipples heal. So DBF went and got one and it helped so much. DD was still wanting to feed every 15 minutes but now she could latch properly and I wasn't in pain everytime.
Finally we got to go home. They weighed Ronnie and she was down to 7 pounds exactly. I was freaked right out that she had lost so much weight and the nurse assured me that that was normal and there was nothing to worry about.
I got home and it was the most amazing thing to be home. I'll admit that I did spend a lot of time crying. I took DD to her next appointment and she was down even more she was now 6 pounds 8 oz and so I had to take her in everyday. The gave me a breast pump to rent and told me to pump for 20 mins before feeding then feed her from the breast and then pump until there is no milk left and then feed her the bottle while you pump then repeat. I went home and I started doing what they said. I ended up pumping for an hour to see how much came out because I just wasn't getting a lot and I got enought to just barely able to cover the bottom of the bottle.
The next day I took her in and I got her weight again and the nurse was a nightmare. She weighed her and she was down again until 6 pounds 5 ounzes. She wanted to see my latch and she wouldn't let me use the sheild so I couldn't get her to latch properly because my breasts were so engorged that the nipple was flat and she couldn't get it in her mouth properly. I ended up crying. She noticed my scars when I was feeding so she got some material on breast feeding with surgery and she basically told me that I was a bad mother for getting a breast reduction before having kids because there was a chance I wouldn't be able to breast feed. I had over 4 pounds removed and I medically had to because I had horrible back pain and migraines and my doctor told me that is what it was from and that I had to get it done. I asked her if she thought I should try some formula after I breast fed and she told me that breast milk was best and I should never give my baby formula etc etc and to keep trying. My mom was with me beause DBF was at work and she argued with the lady because breast isn't best if your child can't get any nutrition from it.
I had a really bad day I felt like a terrible mother and I cried all the time. DBF got home from work and my mom went home and she wouldn't stop crying and I was crying so he and I decided that we would just try the formula that the hospital gave us and just see what happened so we did and within three days she was back up past 7 pounds!
I finally got a good nurse and she asked if my milk had come in and I confessed that I was using forumla and pumping but that I was still only getting enough to just cover the bottom of the bottle. She asked to see my breasts and so I showed her and she felt them and she said they felt like they were full and so we pumped and pumped and she helped me massage different parts trying to get it to go soft but most of it remained hard. She told me to stop pumping and go and see my family doctor and since I had my first check up the next day I went in. I guess because I had the nipple removed and put back on it did not connect propery and so the milk couldn't get out of my milk ducts and some were pinched off with scar tissue.
I am now a formula feeding mom and even though I felt like a terrible mother at first I am very happy with how my Ronnie is doing and I get a break when DBH is home because he can feed her and I can nap or have a shower.
I had to put cabbage in my bra for two weeks to dry the milk up so I wasn't so engorged so I did that even though I thought the doctor was freaking nuts. It worked in an hour for the pain it was amazing.
I was feeding DD every 4 hours at 8 12 4 8 12 4 but at the 4 am feeding she just didn't want to wake up to feed but the nurse told me that I HAD to feed her every 4 hours. I ended up one night falling asleep until 6 am and she just woke up. I felt bad but I decided to try and cut out that 4 am feeding to see if she will sleep throught the night. I really needed the sleep and so I fed her at midnight and she woke up at 6 am again and I rubbed her belly and gave her her paci and she went back to sleep until 8 am. After three nights of not giving her the 4 am feeding she slept until 8 am everyday and she still does but now she goes to bed at 10 pm. It is so amazing I cannot believe how blessed I am that she is sleeping through the night!
She is now 10 weeks and she is so active! She has one long nap and one small nap and she is awake the rest of the time and she loves to kick and kick and flail her arms on the floor. She loves to be on her tummy and she always cuddles up and falls asleep and if I roll her over she starts fussing. i have to tightly swaddle her to get her to sleep on her back or let her just sleep on her tummy on my chest.
It may have not been the birth that I had planned for but it was the birth I hoped for because all I wanted was a healthly little girl!
Here are some pictures including my BFP and my belly pictures!
Sorry this is like the longest story ever...
This is so freaking long!!
I had a pretty uneventful pregnancy until the end. I was trying to work as long as possible but two weeks before my due date was my last day of work. I thought that I was gonna make it longer but I'm pretty proud of myself for making it as long as I could. We had a nice cool summer but at the begining of August it got really really hot and my feet were swelling really bad. My blood pressure was really high and the air conditioning kept breaking and it was hotter in the office than outside. I made it at work until August 15. Once I was off work my blood pressure went right down and my feet stopped swelling (I guess I was just stressed at work and I didn't really realize it until I was off work).
My due date was August 29, 2011 and it came and went. I wasn't really surprised as I thought I would go past the due date (even if all my family members were betting when I would go into labour and thought it would way early lol!).
My doctor suggested that I start going for walks to see if I could get anything started as I hadn't had any contractions or anything yet. It was way way to hot out to go for a walk so I went to the mall and to costco and walked around (and ate the samples yum!). On August 30th I felt like shit, my back hurt I was super tired and all I wanted to do was go to sleep. I went to bed early and just crashed right out. I woke up just before midnight and felt really weird but I was so tired and disorientated it took me a couple of minutes to figure out what was going on. I felt like I really really had to pee which wasn't out of the ordinary as by then I was peeing 4 times a night at least. I got up and felt a weird pop and then water gushed out of me. I thought that I had peed myself because I was still really tired. I ran to the bathroom and I gushed out three more times (probably TMI but it was everywhere! I lost my plug at the same time and there was tons and tons of vernix (sp?) all in the water but it was clear and it didn't smell). I finally clued into what was going on and I yelled and DBF but he was fast asleep (he was working 15-16 hour days and my mom and nana were staying with us helping get everything ready). My mom was the first to come in and she fell out of bed and smacked her head on the door running to the bathroom. I think my exact words were "I think my water broke" (I was standing there in my sopping wet pj's and I didn't have my glasses on so I couldn't even see who I was talking to). My mom burst out laughing. My nana woke up second and she went and woke up DBF. He was also disorientated and for whatever reason thought that she was telling him he was late for work and it took several times of telling him the baby was coming right now for it to sink in.
I had told him so many times to pack his bag for the hospital incase we needed to be there for a few days but he didn't so he was running around trying to pack what he needed (and he brought the weirdest stuff and nothing that he needed). He forgot his toothbrush and tooth paste but he brought floss stuff like this. I didn't pick out anything to actually wear to the hospital so I ended up wearing a very mismatched outfit and I forgot all my nursing bras (I had already packed my hospital bag but didn't put that in it so that I could wear it there) and I decided to wear slippers and ended up not having any shoes to wear home which I will get to later.
Finally the car was packed and my nana drove my mom, DBF and I to the hospital. DBF and I checked in and they put is in a room with 8 beds before they gave us our own room so they could check me out and make sure it was my water. I told the doctor that was on call everything and he said it was definately my water and he didn't even do the test to make sure it was amniotic fluid. He then asked me if I had had any contractions which until he said anything I didn't even realize that no I hadn't had any contractions. He hooked me up to a monitor to make sure that I wasn't having contractions which I was not. He then told me I had two choices. Go home and wait for labour to start naturally or I could stay and they would start pitocin. I live 2 hours away from the hospital (we made it there in an hour and a half) and it was 2:00 in the morning and so it wasn't really an option to go home just incase something happened. The doctor was really nice and he said I could walk the halls until 4 am and if nothing happened then I could start pitocin. I was 1 cm dialated and I walked the halls and stairs and no contractions. At 4 am they checked me and I was still 1 cm.
Pitocin was my worst case senario besides a section so I was terrified. They poked and prodded me and the pitocin was started. I was not prepared for the pain of contractions. I was going to be a hero and have a natural birth but my pain level went from 0 to a million in a half hour. I had a nurse in my room the whole time and she really did act like a doula. She was so amazing and she explained everything and all my options. I decided to try the bath to see if that would help. On the way to the bathroom my water broke again and it soaked my slippers. I also had intense (sorry again TMI lol) diarhea before I got in because of the pain and nerves. The bath helped a little bit and DBF was trying very hard to be supportive but at that point I thought he was enemy #1 for "making" me pregnant and for wanting a natural child birth (he was the one who put the idea in my head). I started puking everywhere from the pain then and I was all wrinkly from being in the bath and the water was cold. I got out and by then it was 8 am. I was proud that I had already made it three hours without pain relief. They came and checked me and I was only 2 cm. I think that was my breaking point. 8 am was staff switch time and a new doctor and nurse came in. The nurse was even better than the last nurse and she convinced me to try some pain relief because being tense from the pain was preventing me from dialating further and I couldn't breath through them anymore. DBF and I talked and I decided to get the epidural. I was going to try something else but DBF couldn't stand seeing me in pain like that he told me to just get it.
The guy came to do the epidural and stayed longer to do it for me so I wouldn't have to wait through the shift change. He was super awesome and he did an excellent job and I was so happy once it kicked in. I told him I loved him and if my baby turns out to be a boy and not a girl I was so naming him after him lol (I posted my ultrasound pictures when I got them done and Nicole didn't think that a girl was acurate). My nana also thought it was going to end up being a boy. He ended up coming back after the baby was born to see if it had been a boy or a girl and he held her for a little bit before he started his shift.
Anyways DBF fell asleep then and his snoring was so loud that I couldn't sleep and my mom and nana had gone to get breakfast. It was about 10 am and they checked me and I was 10 cms! I couldn't believe it. I was apparently having to many contractions so they turned off the pitocin when it was time to push. DBF was beside me and my mom and nana sat at end of the bed (poor girls lol). I started to push and I got the hang of it but everyone started looking concerned and everyone stopped talking. I pushed for 2 hours and the baby wasn't moving. The doctor told me she wanted to call in an ob for a consult to see what was going on. He came in and he was also amazing and he checked and said everything looked fine but he was going to stay and "supervise" just in case. He pretty much took over and that point and he brought a resident with him that was learning to be an OB. She was nice and all but I did not like her at all for reasons I will get to.
I pushed for two more hours and the baby still wasn't moving. My contractions also just completely stopped and my body just didn't want to be in labour. My blood pressure was all over the place and so was the babys and they kept loosing her heart beat. I was passing out between contractions. I had tried every postion including the bar standing up and leaning on the bar and turning around backwards and leaning on the top of the bed, which was difficult when you can't feel your legs but by the end the epi had worn off. I was exhasted and I was getting scared because no one would tell me what was going on and if the baby was okay. The OB finally told me that I had 2 choices I could stop now and just get a c section. They still had time so it wouldn't be an emergency c section and I already had the epidural in so they just had to add more medication and renumb me or I could try forcepts.
I was devistated at the time and I did not want a c section. I talked to my mom because my brother and I were both forcepts and she told me to try that first. The ob said if the forcepts didn't work that it would be an emergency c section. I didn't know it but they had the surgery team outside my room waiting incase it didn't work. The new epidural guy came and he was not as personable as the first guy but he renumbed me so I was happy. All of a sudden there were like 20 people in the room. I guess I was the only person in the labour ward and a forcepts delivery was rare. There was the doctor and my nurse and then the ob and the epidural guy (I just call him that because I don't know how to spell the other name lol) and there was the resident and a pediatriction and a whole bunch of nurses (and the surgical team outside that I didn't see). I didn't notice that there was that many people there because I was in my own little world but my mom and DBF told me later.
They amped up the pitocin so that the contractions would start again.
The ob decided to let the resident insert the forcepts which was the weirdest feeling. I knew something was wrong and it turns out she put them up backwards and when she tried to put them together they wouldn't go and when she took them out it cut up towards my "fun button" which no matter how numb I was I felt it was very painful. The ob then pushed her out of the way and put them in in what seemed like 2 seconds and we were ready to go and we just had to wait for a contraction. I finally got one and I don't really remember much after they said the head was out and to stop and wait until they found where the cord was. I was in so much pain I was so glad I had the epidural (and they won't let you have forcepts without one!). I remember making a mistake and looking at my mom and nana who looked really wide eyed but I didn't clue in until after when they said I needed stitches that I had an episiotomy (and I guess I tore as well). DBF and I talked about it before hand and I told him that I did not want to know if they did cut me or I tore and he did a very good job of not even flinching. I was holding DBF's hand and with the next contraction she was out. It was funny because before they put her on my chest the OB held her up so my nana could see and he said "It's still a girl!". I do remember the nurse saying she had never seen a baby with so much vernix that was overdue (even though it was only a few days). They put her on my chest and she started to cry but she was amazing. They left her on my stomach while they stitched me up. Then they took her away to clean her up and brought her back to me to try to start breast feeding. It seemed to be going well but I had problems latching her by myself because I had a breast reduction. Finally everyone was gone and it was just DBF, me and my little Ronnie!
I started to get really sore and ended up being so uncomfortable. I had to stay in the hospital for three days and the only reason they let me go was because I had a mental breakdown and begged for them to let me go home. The hospital bed was so uncomfortable and my bottom hurt really bad. I tore the episiotomy during delivery right through to my bum. They told me if I had a bowel movement that I could go home. So DBF lied for me and told them I went lol. I went at home and DBF had to sit with me and hold my hand because I swear it was worse than the birth.
When I was still at the hospital I started having breast feeding issues. She had such a strong suction when she latched that when she latched wrong she was bruising and blistering my nipples. It was really painful to breast feed and I wasn't healing. I wasn't expecting breast feeding to be so hard. She also wanted to feed every half hour starting the second night. I would feed her on both breasts and put her down and she would want more and that night it was more like every 15 minutes. All the nurses told me it was just cluster feeding. I wasn't sleeping at all and I was so sore and at that point I still had the cathater in and I was bleeding so bad I had to keep changing my pad and change the icepack. I cried everytime I had to feed her and DBF tried so hard to help but since I was the one with the breasts there was nothing that he could really do.
I finally couldn't do it anymore so this EVIL nurse came in and said that I should try and hand express milk into a medicine cup and then suck it up by a suringe and feed it to DD. She started to milk me and I felt like a cow and this was the first time I thought that something was wrong. She would get only a tiny drop and she would scrap the cup up my nipple and by that time my nipples were bleeding and it hurt so bad but she kept at it drop by drop and finally she had half a ml and she gave it to DD. She was so hungry she tried to shove the whole suringe in her mouth. She couldn't get anymore out so she stopped and told me to keep trying myself and she would be right back.
A different nurse came to see me and saw the state that I was in and brought in some formula to try so I could get some sleep. She told me to give her to DBF and just to go to sleep. I really did try but it was so cute seeing DBF getting a chance to feed DD he was smiling at her. She went to sleep after that and so did DBF and I and all of us slept for 6 hours. When she woke up she also didn't scream she just woke up and I tried to feed her again but again it hurt and she was screaming.
A nurse came and she suggested we try a nipple sheild to help her latch and to let my nipples heal. So DBF went and got one and it helped so much. DD was still wanting to feed every 15 minutes but now she could latch properly and I wasn't in pain everytime.
Finally we got to go home. They weighed Ronnie and she was down to 7 pounds exactly. I was freaked right out that she had lost so much weight and the nurse assured me that that was normal and there was nothing to worry about.
I got home and it was the most amazing thing to be home. I'll admit that I did spend a lot of time crying. I took DD to her next appointment and she was down even more she was now 6 pounds 8 oz and so I had to take her in everyday. The gave me a breast pump to rent and told me to pump for 20 mins before feeding then feed her from the breast and then pump until there is no milk left and then feed her the bottle while you pump then repeat. I went home and I started doing what they said. I ended up pumping for an hour to see how much came out because I just wasn't getting a lot and I got enought to just barely able to cover the bottom of the bottle.
The next day I took her in and I got her weight again and the nurse was a nightmare. She weighed her and she was down again until 6 pounds 5 ounzes. She wanted to see my latch and she wouldn't let me use the sheild so I couldn't get her to latch properly because my breasts were so engorged that the nipple was flat and she couldn't get it in her mouth properly. I ended up crying. She noticed my scars when I was feeding so she got some material on breast feeding with surgery and she basically told me that I was a bad mother for getting a breast reduction before having kids because there was a chance I wouldn't be able to breast feed. I had over 4 pounds removed and I medically had to because I had horrible back pain and migraines and my doctor told me that is what it was from and that I had to get it done. I asked her if she thought I should try some formula after I breast fed and she told me that breast milk was best and I should never give my baby formula etc etc and to keep trying. My mom was with me beause DBF was at work and she argued with the lady because breast isn't best if your child can't get any nutrition from it.
I had a really bad day I felt like a terrible mother and I cried all the time. DBF got home from work and my mom went home and she wouldn't stop crying and I was crying so he and I decided that we would just try the formula that the hospital gave us and just see what happened so we did and within three days she was back up past 7 pounds!
I finally got a good nurse and she asked if my milk had come in and I confessed that I was using forumla and pumping but that I was still only getting enough to just cover the bottom of the bottle. She asked to see my breasts and so I showed her and she felt them and she said they felt like they were full and so we pumped and pumped and she helped me massage different parts trying to get it to go soft but most of it remained hard. She told me to stop pumping and go and see my family doctor and since I had my first check up the next day I went in. I guess because I had the nipple removed and put back on it did not connect propery and so the milk couldn't get out of my milk ducts and some were pinched off with scar tissue.
I am now a formula feeding mom and even though I felt like a terrible mother at first I am very happy with how my Ronnie is doing and I get a break when DBH is home because he can feed her and I can nap or have a shower.
I had to put cabbage in my bra for two weeks to dry the milk up so I wasn't so engorged so I did that even though I thought the doctor was freaking nuts. It worked in an hour for the pain it was amazing.
I was feeding DD every 4 hours at 8 12 4 8 12 4 but at the 4 am feeding she just didn't want to wake up to feed but the nurse told me that I HAD to feed her every 4 hours. I ended up one night falling asleep until 6 am and she just woke up. I felt bad but I decided to try and cut out that 4 am feeding to see if she will sleep throught the night. I really needed the sleep and so I fed her at midnight and she woke up at 6 am again and I rubbed her belly and gave her her paci and she went back to sleep until 8 am. After three nights of not giving her the 4 am feeding she slept until 8 am everyday and she still does but now she goes to bed at 10 pm. It is so amazing I cannot believe how blessed I am that she is sleeping through the night!
She is now 10 weeks and she is so active! She has one long nap and one small nap and she is awake the rest of the time and she loves to kick and kick and flail her arms on the floor. She loves to be on her tummy and she always cuddles up and falls asleep and if I roll her over she starts fussing. i have to tightly swaddle her to get her to sleep on her back or let her just sleep on her tummy on my chest.
It may have not been the birth that I had planned for but it was the birth I hoped for because all I wanted was a healthly little girl!
Here are some pictures including my BFP and my belly pictures!
Sorry this is like the longest story ever...
Congrats again dear! 
