Aaaaaahhh stress!

[quirk]

That's it! I just needed to tell someone. I can't sleep because of all the anxiety that my dreaded work has given me. I suffer with anxiety anyway, but when they decide to give you 3 times as much work to do and the time the most important part of it is reduced so much, you just can't get it done. Then your boss doesn't allow you further time to get it done. Then your other boss gets angry if you try and get it done in his time. It really is impossible and I'm really too ill to deal with it.

I'm tired out. I'm worried that my anxiety has caused some of my previous losses and might be putting this one at danger. I'm worried that they might put me on maternity leave early if I have too much time off because of anxiety. - I know they can't, but I think they would. I'm worried that they have no clue how much work I have to do (they literally seem clueless at times) and might sack me because of it. I just can't do it!

Sorry for the rant, I needed to get it off my chest, but everyone's asleep!

 

[petitpas]

I hear you!
I'm not pregnant right now, just getting over my fourth loss. I recently reduced my hours and started working in a second department so I totally get what you mean with the two bosses not knowing how much work you have.
All I can say is that your health and that of your baby is the most important! Can you maybe request another risk assessment and highlight your stress levels? Or maybe see HR, call a meeting with your bosses?
I wouldn't worry too much about starting maternity early. They can only force you after 36 weeks. If they send you home before it would mean suspending you on full pay or your doctor signing you off on sick leave.
Take care and think sleepy sheep xxx

 

[quirk]

Thank you petipas. I ended up having the day off work to look after myself a bit. I don't want to be putting unnecessary pressure on myself when pregnant if I can help it. I made sure they knew it was down to anxiety and not pregnancy as well and saw my doctor, so they can't try saying it's down to pregnancy problems. You know I haven't had 1 risk assessment yet and I seriously doubt I will get one at all. If I ask for one, I would be nagging them for weeks for it.

 

[petitpas]

You know what? It's better for your record if your absence is pregnancy-related.
If you've formally advised your employer of your pregnancy they are required by law to give you a risk assessment. Can you not speak to HR and tell them how anxious and stressed you are about all of this?

 

[quirk]

Well, it's starting up again. And if I start having panic attacks before I set off to work, I'm not going, it's as simple as that.

There is no HR to tell, no-one. I work in the HO due to the nature of my work. I report directly to the directors. It has now been more than 3 weeks since I have had the time to do some of my work that should be kept up to date everyday, because they have taken that time away from me. And they owe me over 30 hours pay, which I seem to have to beg for to get.

When I started this job, it was great. But it was difficult for me then, because I was going back into work from being ill with anxiety and depression, - I'd had had what you might call a breakdown. I really don't want to go back to that and I'm terrified of it happening while I'm pregnant. If I don't calm down, I'm going to end up in tears before I get to work.

 

[petitpas]

Deep breath, honey. You can do this!
Make a priority list of what has to be done. What is most urgent, what is medium urgent, what can wait. Then you email or give the list to your boss to let them know what you are focussing on and what will not be done. Try to remain as calm as possible, no drama, only facts. It's hard, but you can do this!

 

[quirk]

No, I can't do it! The ability to prioritise has been taken out of my hands. They have taken time out of the most important tasks I have and put it into new ones. I am literally not allowed to do the most important work I have to do, but I need to do. I actually have no say anymore, only tell your boss when you're behind ...so I send him an email listing what I am behind with everyday, as this is what he told me to do, because apparently he can't ignore an email, but he is.

It's like they're setting me up to fail.

 

[petitpas]

Wow, that's mean. Well, it looks like you have to play the game for a bit. Concentrate on what they label priority number one, keep sending those emails and let them worry about the unfinished work.

I'm sure they aren't setting you up to fail. After all, you're going on mat leave in a couple of months.
Just pass the problem (unfinished work) on to your boss every day and try to forget about it. When you click send it's his/her problem. They'll react sion enough when that list gets longer and longer.
You are doing all you can so try to distance yourself from the worry.
Maybe you could go see your gp and tell him/her all about it? You might get signed off for a while to help calm you down (and give work time to sort themselves out).

 

[quirk]

That's what I was thinking...do what they tell me, send the email and it's not my problem. But I've been doing that for 3 weeks and I just can't deal with the stress that it causes. I know it's not my problem when I think about it, but I have had such problems with employers in the past that I just don't trust them and this where the anxiety starts.

I saw my gp the first time I posted, but he said that it's to be expected with how much I've been through and that I don't need a sick note for the first few days. I just figured, if I can't deal, I'll have a day off because I can't deal with it mentally, and if I end up having a few days off, then go back to my gp and try again. But, my partner's starting to panic himself now and is worrying that me having days off will cause more problems. I can't ask him much about it, because I just don't want to hear it. Since I got him to tell me what was on his mind, I haven't stopped crying. He struggles himself, we make each other worse sometimes.

At least the big kicks I'm getting now are cheering me up a bit.

 

[petitpas]

Oh you poor thing. Don't worry too much about work though. There is no way they will fire you
Have you got somewhere at work where you can take short breaks and put your feet up? If not, ask for it. Tell your boss to his face that you are overwhelmed and that there is too much stress put on you. I hope things work out for you

 

[quirk]

Thanks. I needed that hug. You're right, I need to arrange a meeting with him to sort it out. I just hope I have the confidence when I'm back at work to sort this. Sometimes it's just easier to not say anything isn't it. I think it's the fact that I've been sacked due to my anxiety before and I was too ill to do anything about it (I was forced back to work by my employer when I was too ill to be working), that's increasing my anxiety. Ok, I'll take a deep breath, I can deal with this. I figure they can't sack me for being off work due to work stress that they've caused can they?! And if they do, I can do something about it, and I'm strong enough to sort this out. Gggggrrrrr! x

 

[petitpas]

You just keep copies of the emails with your workload and you'll be fine. They won't sack you. You're not staying for long. If you do talk to your boss, I find it most effective to put out a statement like 'I have so much unfinished work and not enough time to do it all. It is overwhelming me'. Then stop talking even if a long silence follows. Let them respond, you don't need to ramble on and give details. I'm sure your boss knows exactly what is going on. Be strong. And most importantly, know that it will be fine!