? about my wife and babies health

[hunterace]

i'm an expecting father. my wife is early in her pregnency ( 8 weeks) . she, in my opinion isn't eating enough and healthy enough, and has little to no exercise. she is/ was overweight when we got pregnant. she is skipping breakfast almost everyday, then eats a sub usually around lunch time, then whatever we have for dinner(usually the only healthy meal of her day). she has been taking her vitamins and has at least 1 glass of milk a day and has orange juice fairly often. she doesn't drink enough water either.
now to my ?'s
does her lack of eating often and well have an affect on her and the baby? also does not exercising have a bad affect on the baby?
i have tried to have her exercise and eat more, but i just get yelled at about how she feels too sick to eat or she's too tired to exercise. i don't want to be a jerk but i can only assume that what she's doing is having a negitive effect on her and the baby.
we go to the doc tommorrow for an ultrasound and whatever else gets done at the 8 week appt., i have no idea what actually happens as this is our first child. i'm tempted to "tell on her" or point out that i believe she isn't eating enough, healthy enough, and not exercising.

any ideas or help you can give me?..... thank you

 

[NickyT75]

your wife probably feels pretty rotten due to the pregnancy hormones so she really doesnt need you going on at her about her eating & excercising im afraid hun

its actually not a good idea to begin excercise during pregnancy unless you are someone who has always been pretty active so please dont pressure her to start anything now

you could always try making her a slice of toast or something in the morning & telling her it will help with the feelings of sickness (even if she doesnt feel like eating it will help to stabilise her blood sugar which will help keep the nausea under control)

just be there to support her hun x

 

[Kte]

I'd say, go easy on her tbh. If you are on at her all the time when she is feeling bad that could have a more negative affect than her not doing these things. In first tri you are tired, tired, tired so when you suggest excersise I can't imagine that it is going to go down well. If she is suffering from sickness then eating certain things can actually help (e.ginger buiscuits) but some things make you feel worse so that may be why she doesn't feel like breakfast, imagine what you felt like last time you felt sick then imagine trying to eat on top of that feeling! Not going to happen! It's good that she is actually eating some things.

There is a condition that some pregnant women suffer with called Hypermesis, they are sick throughout their pregnancy, can hardly keep down water, sometimes have to go to hopsital to be re-hydrated. Its awful what they suffer with yet their babies are fine, the babies take everything they need from the Mum at the expense of the Mum.

Sickness and tiredness usually goes away a bit in the 2nd trimester (although this is not always the case / guaranteed) so this is more the time to get active. Nearer this time and the closer to the end of her pregnancy you could suggest lite excersise such as walking as this is supposed to help with labour. You could get her a birth ball to bounce on, this is supposed to help too - just don't make it all 'you must excersise', suggest it or give it to her as gift / labour / pregancy aid. Show that you are thinking of her, not, what may come across as lecturing her. You may just be concerned and trying to help but you could be a bit more 'delicate' about it.

You could still ask questions at the appointment but try word them in a way that doesn't make your partner feel too uncomfortable. She needs your support and understanding thoughout (which I can understand isn;t easy when your not sure what is going on with her!)

Congratualtions to you both

 

[hunterace]

i know i'm not helping, that's why i'm hear asking what i can do to help. my only concern is for her and the baby. i don't want ot be the annoying jerk husband, but i also want the best for both of them. the first 6 weeks i was getting up and making her breakfast, wether it was a decent meal or just a little something. the last to weeks i've been really sick and not sleeping at all..... i know boo hooo, but i haven't got up and made her breakfast since i've been sick. plus the last few weeks she has been too sick or nauseous.

thank you for the advice nickyt75

 

[hunterace]

ok i guess i didn't write out the first post good enough to explain. i haven't been pressing her on the exercise, but i have been pushing the eating/ eating better thing.
i know i'm coming across as a jerk...... she lets me know, trust me. i just want to make sure she and the baby will be ok. since this is my first child i have no idea what is acceptable as far as diet and that goes, for her.
i probly sound like a total a$$ in my first post, but i'm just a regular guy, i think pretty nice actually . just looking for advice/ help.
thanks everyone

 

[Kte]

Your not being attacked, just trying to explain it so you can kind of imagine what she is feeling / going through. I mentioned the hypermeisis also to kind of explain that even if she couldn't managed to get anything down, technically your baby should be fine, its an odd kind of reassurance. Its good you haven't said the things to her as you have kind of written them.

Honestly, the best thing for her and baby right now is rest. This site may help for you too (as well as B&B) My OH was referred to it at our antenatal class (all of the dads were) https://www.dad.info/

Oh and ask her if she has any cravings or anything and keep them in supply! That could help qualm your not eating concerns

Ask at the appointment if there are foods to stay away from, over here we have a list of no's such as soft cheeses (e.g. bri) shellfish, pate, liver etc. . . It may be slightly differnt where you are. When I was pregnant I was told no peanuts, yet months later a friend got pregant and was told she could, so just ask and check whats being recommended at the mo.

Read lots, read up from different places and then take what you want from all the info you have gathered.

 

[Eternal]

the baby will take all the nutriants it needs and will be perfectly healthy, especially if she is taking vitamins then i wouldnt worry about the baby.

your wife is really early in pregnancy and def should not start exercising, she should try and remain and active as possible but if she wasnt exercising before then she shouldnt start while she is pregnant.

her diet doenst sound too bad, she is prob feeling ill in the morning so therefore doenst want to eat, thats perfectly normal, she should try and eat little and often if she can but everyone is different.

 

[porkypig]

when i found out i was pg, i didnt fancy eating at all, but then as i went into the 2nd semester, i got my appetite back, im sure your wife will.As others have said, the baby takes what it needs and what she eats doesnt sound too bad. As for excercise, its not advisable in the beginning, tbh i never did any excercise apart the last two days before i gave birth, i walked around the block to help start my labour and bounced on a birth ball a few times, i was too big and tired even just walking up the stairs, exertion is not good for baby or mum, maybe swimming may be good or walks which you can do with your wife xx Congrats and take care xx

 

[Sarah10]

The only exercise your partner NEEDS to be doing is slow walking or gentle swimming, and thats just to keep up her stamina for when she gets bigger, as the further along she gets the more difficult it is to exercise. Pregnancy can make you feel so sick, its hard to understand how bad it can make you feel if you arent/havent gone through it, food was the last thing on my mind. I didn't eat a proper meal till i was about 16 weeks along, just picked at things all day, my son was fine. Really the best thing you can do is encourage her to rest/take it easy, also ask her what does she feel like eating, if all she fancies for now is chicken curries (though probably not if she feels anything like i did haha) then so be it

 

[Chaos]

You keep hassling her while those pregnant hormones are running thru her body, she's gonna hurt you lol

The first 12 weeks for most people are the worse, total nausea all the time while the body gets used to all the hormones. Most don't eat much for the first 3 months. It won't affect the baby at all .. a baby is kinda like a parasite in the way it lives inside a woman .. it will leach all the vitamins and nutrition it needs from the mother so it can grow, and it will be the mother that becomes defiant in those specific things. Just make sure she's taking a good prenatal vitamin and she will be ok, let her eat when she wants to eat!

As for excersise, her body is going thru LOADS of changes right now and she's right .. she's exhausted. The first 12 weeks, I'd get up at 7, go to work to 5, home by 6 and go right to bed. I couldn't function. Going for a run is the last thing on her mind.

When I got pregnant, I got my husband this book: https://www.amazon.com/So-Youre-Going-Be-Dad/dp/1555612415 Barnes and Noble have it, go get it and have a read

Good luck, Dada!

 

[hunterace]

i'm reading "the expectant father" right now, and i have a couple other books form my sisters in law. as i do like the info some of it just plain sucks to read( all the bad things that can happen), but still reading away.
i've completely, well mostly, got off her back about eating since i joined here and haven't been on her at all about exercise. enough women telling me to shut up was good advice. also going and seeing the doctor, and having her say everything is fine, just try and drink more water was good enough for me. seeing the little baby and it's heart beating away was awesome and settled me down a bunch too.
thanks

 

[katy1310]

Hi, I just wanted to say congratulations to you and your wife - isn't it amazing hearing/seeing that little heartbeat?

I think it's great that you care so much, you're going to be a brilliant dad.

As the others have said, your wife probably doesn't really feel like eating all that much at the moment, especially first thing in the morning. I was very lucky and didn't suffer from morning sickness, but sometimes I couldn't really face the thought of eating even though I was never actually sick and didn't really feel sick, if that makes sense!

The baby does take everything it needs from the mum - I got so many colds etc when I was pregnant and I never usually catch anything..I think Sophie was just sucking all the nutrients out of me!!

I would agree with the others too that she shouldn't be starting exercise now if she wasn't used to exercising before pregnancy - a bit of gentle walking and swimming would be fine.

You didn't come across at all like a jerk, you just care about your wife and want the best for your baby! We're all here to answer any questions either of you might have. x

 

[Kte]

Glad your feeling much more positive about your worries and that the appointment went well

 

[Eternal]

glad you are feeling less stressed, its a good thing that you care so much! Well done for being a supportive and interested dad to be!

 

[lori]

You're trying to be helpful, but I would have been very hurt and offended if my OH pushed me to exercise more and change my eating habits in pregnancy. I was hypersensitive about my body changing, and I would have taken those comments to mean that he didn't find me attractive anymore. I was doing my best to stay fit and eat well, but it's so much harder when pregnant.

This is a chance to grow closer as a couple. I actually have more body confidence 6 weeks post-baby (and 8lbs heavier!) than I did before, probably because my husband made a real point of telling me how beautiful I am, and I believed him. When I was ill and struggling to eat the right things, he'd tell me (sincerely) how proud he was that I was doing my best for our baby and what a good mom I was. Think about how you want your wife to remember this experience. She knows what she's supposed to be doing, so unless she's doing something dangerous, your job is to cheer her on and make her feel good about her transition into motherhood.